The Fall

See author's note on funny reason this poem came into existence. At least I think it's funny.

The Fall

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

The feeders of degradation wept

As the world they created slept

Pernicious mind and redolent thought

Malicious intent ripened violence is sought.

Sowers of a chasm in chaos unleashed 

Rhetorical hyperbolic words are released 

Into a world unwilling to change

Malevolence given as gift to attain 

So feed upon the remnants of insincerity 

Revel in this hatred with vile clarity 

The strings are all cut; we fall from our grace.

We're shadows of humanity torn from this place

An eye for an eye, an ear for an ear 

The ending is obviously fatally clear

When there's nothing left to hate what's left 

It is a question to ponder and never forget.

Lest we be noble through all this calamity 

What ashes will be left of our humanity 

 

Author's Note

After over dosing on cheetos and mountain dew I recently had an out of body experience, or maybe just indigestion who knows. While in the Astral plane I ran into Shakespeare's younger step brother Buford Shakespeare. He told me the following, "Yo brah what up with all the hate over there? Why can't you'all git along? I'ma tell you the same thing I told Wilie." It was then Buford recited these words though truth be told I think he may have plagiarized most of it. I'm just saying, but I could be wrong. Anyway feel free to comment or leave kind colorful thoughts. I'm off for more cheetos.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Sadly we live in violent and chaotic times. In fact nothing's changed much from the medieval brutality of the past. It's still alive and well today. Hard to believe, but you just have to switch on the news to see it. It isn't always far away either, there can be pockets virtually on your own doorstep. What happened to compassion? Maybe that word has been cancelled. All good wishes dear Carlos. Thank you for the eloquence in your words.

Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Chris for your thoughts I hope all is going well for you. I had been away for a couple of weeks due to some health issues. But I'm doing well. I'm seeing some new writers joining the community which is a delight. Thank you so much again.

[Chris Shaw]

I wondered why you hadn't been around. You were missed. Hope you are recovering well. Yes we have some new writers in our community. Take care Carlos.

[Coyote Poetry]

Your words Carlos, hard and true.
"Sowers of a chasm in chaos unleashed
Rhetorical hyperbolic words are released

Into a world unwilling to change
Malevolence given as gift to attain

So feed upon the remnants of insincerity
Revel in this hatred with vile clarity

The strings are all cut; we fall from our grace.
We're shadows of humanity torn from this place

An eye for an eye, an ear for an ear
The ending is obviously fatally clear"
The above lines. Our new world. Where are the peacemakers my friend. Thank you for sharing the outstanding and needed words.
Coyote

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you CP for this comment. Unfortunately I have been a consumer of a bit to much news of today's world. This was a social commentary reflecting on the over indulgence of that media and how it permeates the mind for the worst. I myself would like to believe that poets and writers are the peacemakers, as they were in the 60s. We need honest truthful voices to shake us out of this zombie-fication that has swept across the world and especially here. If we can not break free of the manipulation from our addictive media then its propaganda will destroy us all. Thank you again for your thoughts my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello Carlos and you are welcome my friend.

[.]

' the ending is obviously fatally clear'... This is the true essence of this poem and it's true. So much hatred, selfishness, self-centredness degrading the basic human values... And more over ego clash and power clash. When we read about the early human beings and their history, we find that they stayed together to fight off the outer enemy, but in today's world with the progress of science and technology, our life has become easier but at the cost of purity of mind. We want more and more, more wealth, more recognition, more power and the end result is surely fatal!
Your poetic description was apt to capture this image. But the author' s note was so funny... Yet creative!

I love your rhyming skill.
. Thank you so much for this poem

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this poem. Everything you have said is absolutely correct. The fault lies with society choosing to view greed as a virtue and hatred as simply an alternative narrative to facts. Our reliance on social media has fed into a corruption of mind. The garbage of immoral degradation is fed to us on a daily basis making us numb and indifferent toward it. We are literally cannibalizing ourselves with our own hate. And those in power are reaping the rewards of this through tearful glee. There are only two alternative paths. Free ourselves to be better human beings or destroy ourselves through self inflicted hatred.

[Eilis]

Love the difference in tone between the author's note and the poem, haha. Your author's note lightened the heaviness of the message which is certainly relevant to our current moment. Not only in America but all over the world. The old adage that the pen is mightier than the sword seems quite apt for the times we are living in--only it is the fingers on the keyboard that seem to be doing the most damage. The prevalence of hate and intolerance among neighbors and even family is a disturbing reality for us. And at a time when we really need cooperation to meet the demands of the present-- some of which have great bearing on the hope of a future. Strong message here, Carlos. And I did enjoy the second work in your author's note which was like a short story in its own right. Always good to laugh. Nice to read your work.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Ellis for your thoughts on this piece. I feel it is important to call out injustice and hatred in the world. We should never be indifferent toward it because doing so allows for acceptability of such behavior in society. Thank you for your thoughts.

[Brian D. Roth]

I appreciate this poem. The way you capture the essence of Shakespeare with your arsenal of rhythm and the vernacular is quite unique. Also, mixing dark humor with something as supernatural as an out of body experience is a technique few have mastered, but you craft it in a way that is both captivating and truly memorable. Great job ! I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Oh the great bard Shakespeare. He had a way of stunning people into clarity through the power of words. Whether in drama, humor, or captured history the audiences eyes and ears were always drawn to his profound messages. The flowery words in this piece seek to stun in similar fashion since its theme is Hatred. The feeding of it into our society by those in power. We consume so much untruth and hateful rhetoric that we are becoming worse then a virus that is killing us. I hope we as humanity come to see it for what it is before it is too late. Thank you Brian again for your kind thoughts on this piece.

[LostSage]

I guess I'm not as intellectual as I thought.
After reading all this, I feel hungry.
I want to get me some Cheetos.
Haha funny joke to you Carlos.
Good stuff. Keep writing.
Have a superb great day!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Hahaha now you have made me hungry for cheetos as well. Especially the hot habanero kind. Thank you so much my friend for the laugh and growling tummy. Also for taking the time to read and comment as well. I appreciate it.

[John the Baptist]

Has the tone of an Old Testament prophet, this one. The speaker catalogues all manner of negativity in these lines, along with a grim forecast of what the result of all this malevolence will be. Maybe the Book of Revelation is a better analogy. One wonders if the speaker is not talking about the current world situation.
PS:Buford Shakespeare? I thought his brother's name was Marvin.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this piece. Indeed this work reflects today's struggles in society as hatred runs rampant. Being propagated by false information through social media and those of foul intent and xenophobic ideology. A governor in Florida is correlating falsely a rise in covid infections within his state caused by migrants at the southern border not even close to where he is located. Then you have a government official in Texas equating that black Americans are to black for the majority of infections in that state. Words and vile rhetoric has consequences for it was only a few years back a racist went into a Walmart in Texas and murdered Hispanic shoppers. These actions accumulate and left unresolved will lead to a civil crisis that quite possibly could be the end of this democracy as we know it. I feel it imperative to speak out on these issues and to use my art to spark discussions that unify and not divide. Thank you so much for your comment. Ps....Buford was a b*****d child from foul illegitimate stock. Shakespeare's daddy planted a lot of seeds, or so I'm told.