Hollow heart

This is the worst poem in the world

You hold me in your arms

Close to your chest

Far from your heart

My eyes close against the warmth of your skin

But my heart shudders against the cold emptiness of your soul

I watch your pretty smile spread flatly on your face

All gleaming teeth and brittle lies

Your laughter carks like broken glass

Fake words spill from your mouth

Behind your eyes I see only empty pain

I hold, caress you as you slowly slip away

You say goodbye and then I know

My love was lost in your hollow heart

 

 

Author's Note

I repeat what I said in the description, this is the worst poem in the world

Reviews

[dan]

Actually I've written a lot that were worse than this. Like almost all I've written. I admire anyone (because I lack the poetic genetics) who can write such a strong piece in such an abbreviated length or writing. I don't know who "The Author" is (Dream....what's up?) but whoever wrote this has a pretty good idea what they were doing. No one writes something this strong by luck. Luck has no place in poetry (I know because I looked in my thesaurus) Good job, no matter what YOU think. take care...dan

[Valkyrie Warrior]

I am quiet ashamed to call myself the author. But I must I am afraid.

[closed]

i like the imagery you use here
it makes your poem come to life

this is good use of personifying ideas

-Dream

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you, for the worst poem in the world people seem to like it a lot?!

[closed]

hardly
it was actually really good

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Ok well thank you!

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

You hold me in your arms
Close to your chest
Far from your heart

This is a beautiful way to start. I love that line. When love is all physical with no emotion that's how you feel. I really love how you compared and contrasted the cold and warm.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Wow thank you!!!!

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Reading your poems always rewinds my memories and those beautiful moments. It was simply wonderful I feel.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Wow thank you!!!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Nope...this is really good:) i love this piece:) and i'll give a hundred points. Maybe check out my poem "Bittersweet waiting" i'd like to know, what you think.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you for reviewing!! I am glad other people like it more than me.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Its good! :) keep writing, you have something i don't: talent.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

That's not true! But thanks.....

[alf]

Hi Beautifullybroken. Definitely NOT the worst poem in the world, and I can say that with complete authority because I have actually screeds of the worst!!! This actually exudes a great deal of passion and loss of a relationship is never easy to transpose to paper, unless the emotion is raw. I liked this poem, not your best one perhaps, but it still contains a strong message and is a good read, alf

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Well I truly think it is the worst poem in the world, but I am glad you didn't hate it to much