A Black Heart (Tanka)

 

 

Cerulean sky

Reflects in my naked eye

The day you left me

You quell my own destiny

A selfish one with black heart

Author's Note

Reviews

[DarkBeauty]

Great right love the words that flow so sweet to capture the meaning

[InsanityWriter]

Great work. I really liked this one, especially that last line. Very powerful.

[Brianna Brie]

This is an awesome Tanka. It really drives home the damage done. Superb!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Briana :)

[Pete Langley]

Destiny is a lovely idea, one I would love to believe in, and often we like to ascribe events to it retrospectively ...yes, THIS happened, but it was meant to be, wasn`t it? I enjoyed this muse. P.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Pete :) you will always an inspiration to me.

[rnuff]

very nicely written, enjoyed

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Kim, appreciate your precious time reading my work. :)

[Carnation]

My review may be shorter than the others but it does not mean I don't like it. It simply means that I don't know any words to describe it.
My review: Great poem, short but powerful.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Angel :) I really appreciate your words it means a lot.

[Carnation]

No problem. Your work wins me over every time.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) Thanks again friend.

[Writer #00]

I saw this in the related writing section of your Medusa poem and thought "Wow, I have a poem with almost the exact same title. I must see what this is about."

So I have. It's a nice poem, I assume you were inspired by this song...I can see why. Are they saying "I'm falling for a monster?"

The second to last line is very moving...on the less happy side of the emotional spectrum.

tar pit/100

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Really you have the poem title I will check for it, Actually this is a personal experience having in love with a black heart :) and thanks I already move on :)

[Writer #00]

That's good...that you moved on. Not that it happened. Did you find this song and just decide to post it because it fit?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I just found it after I am looking for a track to support the poem, I think it is ok same title lol :)

[Writer #00]

So I see.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) Thanks I will visit your work later :)

[Terohime]

Now this poem said a lot with a short few words. What i like the most about your writing is that they are short, but can tell a whole story. Good job

~Your friend Res

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Heheh lol I owe you a lot :) thank you. thank you friend :) really great reading your review. Thanks :)

[Terohime]

No problem, My goal in life it to help everyone to reach for there dreams.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thank you, you are a sweet friend :) glad we become friends today.

[Terohime]

Yes same here. ^^

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:)

[Pax]

short and to the point ~ i find this piece a very honest write of what a broken hearted person felt... but your destiny never quell, for destiny is a choice, you have the will to follow another path, another choice and learning that one broken heart can't be fixed then it's was not really meant to be, not really destined for each other... there is always other choices...

a very expressive short piece
Great work!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Pax :)

[Pax]

alam mo parang parihos kaming ng ini isip ni mr. wiseman dyan sa baba.... :D
about the quell~ its a new word for me... na google ko pa yan..lol... but anyways your very much welcome kabayan, always :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Oo :) matalino kasi sya hehhe

[Pax]

true... he is..

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) He is brilliant!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

uli? hahaha

[Pax]

hahaha...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) cheers!

[Keith LaFountaine]

Short, but direct and honest. Sometimes less is more, and you've certainly accomplished the essence of that phrase here! Great job!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks again Keith. I also like short poem like this, sometimes long poem will dragged us and end up lost. I am considering poem that shorts but it speaks volume and has focus and concentrations.