Fullmoon, the Game of the Guardians.

Fullmoon, the Game of the Guardians.

A Poem by Marc Marlon Villaflor

The night comes with a lurid full moon

The wolf's howling makes the villager swoon

Nocturnal wings flying sporadically in the cataleptic skies

The sounds of chaos is imminent from the distance miles

The villagers frighten for the arrival of malevolent shadow

He brought nightmares, even killed the tamed breath in the meadow

The Monster forays once again, breaks the wall and captures a woman.

The lady screams loudly, seems there is no way to run.

The Beast severely deep-rooted his fangs into her neck

The woman lost her breath in  a disastrous peak.

The blood strewn all over the base, slowly scattered everywhere.

Causing a horrific death in this gloomy  wicked sphere

The Beast ended his victim by removing her heart with his monstrous paw

Then dropped his prey, he roars, reverberate fears,  reaching the devilish crow.

Chaos is his nature, strikes death in every place.

He fulfills his destiny and follows his kindred wishes

Suddenly the beast detects the arrival of his enemies’ wagon

The guardians open the door, flying sword and silver bullets heading to one direction.

The Monster is quick to leap upward, evades the silver death wisely

He breaks the asbestos roof by his claws, jumping from place to place till he’s free

He fades into the dark realm, wildly victorious and still reign in the dark.

The Guardians failed to kill the Monster; it makes the future looks stark

But still, this is not the end of the game, until the next full moon.

Before the dawn comes, the Guardians will kill this hideous black hairy demon.

The Next Full Moon

© 2013 Marc Marlon Villaflor


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"The wolf howls echoes ..." I think you mean the wolfs howls echoes. It sounds a little awkward though.
"malevolence shadows..." Malevolent.
There are some more errors like these, I would suggest reading it aloud to yourself in order to catch them.
Good concept but your wording makes it a little strange. I think this would do better as a short story rather than a poem. Great imagery though and a great concept. Overall good job :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Hi thanks Imara I really appreciate your honest review :) I will do you suggestions :) thanks.



Reviews

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Pax
i like the story line ~ mysterious and dark ~ dudugo yung ilong ko nito may mga english na di ko pa alam...lol... galing mo na in-terms of vocab. the story is really interesting - i feel like i was in the dark ages while reading. Great poem kabayan!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Pax :) salamat kabayan.
Pax

11 Years Ago

your most welcome kabayan...
This reminds me of a cradle of life piece...sort of a different take on darkness and what dwells there. I love the imagery as always, a few little grammatical issues, and perhaps breaking this up a little into shorter lines or stanzas would make it read more smoothly.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks GF :) I will try to re-write it, I appreciate your honest review.
I saw both werewolf and wendigo in your imagery and between the words, something more ancient--a slinking shadow lumbering forth from the premordial chaos, given life by Chthulu himself.

Very well done---chilling to the very bone

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Mag :) I appreciate your review.
even though he doesn't want to...it is in his nature...and the full moon brings him out at his worst...i picture lon chaney jr. here...a good man sentenced to a life of killing by a bite...maybe love does this to us...we love and are rejected and it is like a bite of a werewolf...and then we become....and do this to others.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Mr. Jacob, I love your thoughts in this piece.
A brilliant write with amazing imagery. Very nice.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

:) Thanks a lot :) I appreciate your kind words, thanks for your precious time reading this piece.
Thats a wonderful composition...some mistakes here and there but overall great :--)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Actually I find it hard, I did a lot of editing but seems I did not hit the core of this work. I wil.. read more
There are a few spelling errors. I loved the poem though. I like a good story poem. They are sometimes hard to pull off. I think you did a wonderful job. I think you would get a better flow of thoughts and words if you read this one aloud to yourself. It is a great idea and a great poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

I admit, I did a lot of rewrite but seems I did not hit the core. :) lol, anyway I will try my best .. read more
Eddie Phillips

10 Years Ago

Marc this still is an amazing poem.
Marc Marlon Villaflor

10 Years Ago

Thanks Bro. :)
Ahh... It was like seeing a movie... It gave me chills..You painted quiet a picture!!
But I must say some places hinder the flow, I'm not good enough to point out which, but it's there. Over all a great write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Pink :) love your honest review :)
What you do well is describe action ,there is loads going on here, especially in the Poe direction of horror, so a good job. Write ( as Trigorin rightly notes ) in a leaner way, the second to last line has at least one adjective too much, the wolf`s howling would be correct ( genitive ). But all in all well done !

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Sir Leslie :) I appreciate your honest and valuable review. thanks a lot.
A very good short story in the poem. I like the mystery and fear create by the good description. I like the positive ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Sir :) I am happy for your review.

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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 24, 2013
Last Updated on April 28, 2013

Author

Marc Marlon Villaflor
Marc Marlon Villaflor

DIFC Dubai International Financial Center, Dubai City, United Arab Emirates



About
I am just writing for almost 2 months now and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank y.. more..

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