Colossal Fist | Chapter ~ V Spirit of the Moth

Colossal Fist | Chapter ~ V Spirit of the Moth

A Chapter by Marc Marlon Villaflor

 

“No!” “ You can’t enter the city; it is restricted by government forces,” Said the man driving a Toyota 4x4. He makes a U-turn to avoid the Check point.

“We have to go and find another way,” Ayman suggest to his father while Haifa is looking around the place.

“I think it is very difficult to do the side trip, it will take more time,” Said Ayman’s father Hisham.

Haifa’s seems speechless; she looks disoriented and she remembers her horrific dreams last night.

Those people dying, the explosions of rockets, tear gas and the cruelty of the Police, it disturbs her and it made her cry.

 “Haifa, what’s wrong?” “You still remember your dream last night? Ayman asks. Her attentive cousin wakes her up, when he heard her screaming in the middle of the night.

“Yes, I still recall those horrific pictures,” Haifa speaks softly as she covers her face with her scarf.  She is hiding her fears and trying to control her tears.

 “Don’t worry you will be alright,” Ayman assures Haifa as he hugs her cousin.

“I will try to find a short cut so that we can cross over this place.” Hisham informs his son and Haifa.

“Dad, what you are thinking is dangerous,” Ayman protesting his father's plan.

“No! Just trust me.” Hisham convinces his son.

The car makes a u-turn and heading back to the opposite street. Hisham looks for the other alternative way; he crosses the market place, alleys and narrow street.  

They keep moving until they reach the short cut point, an old bridge heading to the super highway. But Hisham looks hesitant to cross this bridge, it looks fragile, it is made of wood and cars seldom pass over the bridge because of the condition.

“Ayman, you and Haifa will walk ahead, seems this bridge will collapse,” said Hisham.

“Dad, are you sure?” “You can do it?” Ayman asks his brave father.

“Yes of course!” Hisham valiantly assures his son.

“Uncle, I am afraid it looks frail,” Haifa warns her plucky uncle.

“Don’t worry honey, I will die once,” He jokingly swears to his niece that things will be alright.

The car now starts to cross the old bridge. Haifa and Ayman fearfully look to Hisham maneuvering the car; they are patiently waiting for the slow movement of the car crossing the old bridge.

Finally, the car reaches the end.  Hisham happily hugs her son and niece and the three continue their journey to the next city.

 

 

 

 

“Baba!” I look at my father telling him the check point is near.

“Don’t worry Mariam, we will cross this City,”

Our car stops at the check point, the officer checks our papers. This time the person is completely different from the officers we encountered earlier.  They politely let us go. I am happy that we did not encounter the same fate before.  Ahmed is excitedly astounds seeing new places we pass by.

“Mama, do you think I will find new friends there?”

“Yes of course Mariam, your father has a large family in Turkey you will find good friends and relatives same your age, don’t worry,” my mother hugs me, while touching my hair.

“Mama you are crying?  My mother wipe her tears, my father makes a quick glance to us,

“Lamia, what’s wrong?” my father asks my mother why she cries.

“I am bothered with Haifa, maybe she is worrying right now. We used to talk to her every day. But look even here our phone didn’t have a signal.

“Don’t worry as soon as we reach Turkey we will call her,” my father affirms my mother.

I hold her, Ahmed also hugs my mother. I am looking into the skies, the clouds colors turn into gold. Beautiful scenery and the sunset give us a very relaxing feeling while we watch the magical sun resting in the western skies.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

The place is like a ghost town, collapse building, dead bodies scattered in the street, gun fires and rockets, chaos everywhere.

In an abandoned warehouse a man is struggling fighting for his life facing the evil soldiers.

The soldiers hold his arms, he resists by giving a straight kick into the officer's abdomen. They keep holding him, but he overpowers the two soldiers by making a free fall, as he stumble together  with the soldiers, he closely lock the soldier head by his strong legs. He give a sucker punch to the other, it makes the face of the soldier bursting with his own blood. The other soldier draws a blade, but he is quick enough to catch the soldier’s wrist and lethally breaks his hands and arms. He valiantly defeat the soldiers and leave them lifelessly lying on the ground.  His colossal fist crushes the enemies without holding back.

 

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© 2013 Marc Marlon Villaflor


Author's Note

Marc Marlon Villaflor

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Reviews

Sorry guys I will to finish this story as soon as possible :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


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Pax
may ka sunod na ba to... LOL
in all means i like it so far...
this chapter is getting deeper into the main story...
as if its nearing the climax part...
keep it going kabayan!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

10 Years Ago

Tinatamad ako Pax pero tatapusin ko to lol :) thanks for reading.
Pax

10 Years Ago

haha... i knew the feeling very well... wag kang maging katulad ko... palaging tinatamad hangang sa .. read more
a toyota? and the music again?
hey, might be good for theater
might need popcorn then
gunfire in the end
what comes next?

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is such a compelling story. Let me know when you add more!

Posted 10 Years Ago


intersting title...the story does compell me

Posted 10 Years Ago


As I understand it, Haifa and her cousins are headed into the war zone as the rest of Haifa's family have just made it to safety. This is tragically ironic and very well crafted.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I am a bit confused. I thought Hafia was with her Turkish relatives or is that another female character in this story? But she is with Ahmed and her father in the first section. And you use two different names for Mariam in section two that are a bit confusing as well. You need to make it plain that the second name is perhaps a pet name the father uses for his wife. In section two, the mother makes reference to not hearing from Hafia. So this is why I am so confused. I also noticed that you use the pronoun "her" often when talking about Ahmed's cousin. It should be "his" cousin.

Otherwise, the story is moving along at a great pace. It is full of action and suspense and I am really enjoying it. I hope to continue reading this.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ravyne Hawke

10 Years Ago

Okay, perhaps I am getting fathers, cousins and sons mixed up.. maybe it is because names are too cl.. read more
Okay, I can't tell what the others said already.... so here's one.
"No"

"You can't enter the city"

_the spacing with the dialogues is important to give the dialogues enough space to breathe



Posted 10 Years Ago


Like this , but be more careful,if you write in the present tense stay there, so, for example in the first line says instead of said, it makes her cries is grammatically incorrect,you need after a help-verb the infinitive, it made her cry would be correct if you want to use the present tense, ...seldom the car pass, cars seldom pass over the bridge would be better...so you write well, but be a shade more careful !

Posted 10 Years Ago


Marc Marlon Villaflor

10 Years Ago

Thanks Sir I will note your suggestion. Thanks for the reads.
Wonderful chapter and seemed you carefully wrote this chapter perfectly.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on May 14, 2013
Last Updated on May 19, 2013


Author

Marc Marlon Villaflor
Marc Marlon Villaflor

DIFC Dubai International Financial Center, Dubai City, United Arab Emirates



About
I am just writing for almost 2 months now and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank y.. more..

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