Stand By Your FAN!

...with egregious apologies to the spirit of Tammy Wynette, and the sensibilities of her many fans...

Stand By Your Fan

Summ'time, it's hard to be...a Texan,
When temps are hittin' 99!
  Your AC's too small,
   Hardly cools at all;
Your sheets are soaking, all the time!

There just ain't any good direction
That you can lay, just to be cool!
  And when you're at work,
   Can't take but one shirt,
You look just like...a drippin' fool!

STAND BY YOUR FAN!
Without a stitch of clothes on,
You don't care what it blows on--
Y'all understand!

Soon as you can,
Set it to run it's highest--
The only path to dryness, man....
STAND...
   BY....
        YOUR FA-A-A-AN!

Author's Note

I've already been corrected once, as I had initially posted this as a send-up of a PATSY CLINE song. I will gladly hear suggestions for additional verses, as I have cut this off shorter than I really wanted to, for want of good rhymes.

Reviews

[Jack...]

Just not too close if you are naked and facing it. Funny.

[Mark]

No fibbing now: You DID sing it, right?

[Jack...]

You got me there too

[Mary]

hahaha! even I in little Rhody can relate! thanks for the fun!

[Mark]

Thanks, Mary...But did you SING it? Always more fun when spoofing a song, if you retain that melody!

[Mary]

yes, but I only sing when the family is out... they always ask me if I know "far far away" and could I sing it?

[Rick Puetter]

Hi Mark,

Yep. I'm in fact standing (or sitting) by my fan right now. But I only live in San Diego and can only have pity for those of you in Texas or hotter climes. I can take the cold a lot better than the heat, and so I always stand by my fan.

Wonderful humor, Mark.

Best regards,

Rick

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

This is making me laugh out loud! I am feeling the Texas heat and watching my garden sizzle! Very clever, and as a Texan I find it quite true.

[Tate Morgan]

That's truly funny as hell.However we all can remember those problems When you and I were young Air was a luxury we rarely saw .

[Mark]

Thanks, Tate...but..."Funny as HELL"? That's not really very funny, is it? lol

[Tate Morgan]

yes I was thinking of how horrible it was when I raced horses I remember how hot it was.i CAN LOOK BACK AND LAUGH NOW .Though at the time it was miserable

[Allen Smuckler]

Mark,
Leave as is, man...
It stands alone and without further ado,
summ-times curt is better...in this case essential
you've made your point succinctly and humorously...why belabor it?
Thank goodness for CENTRAL AIR!!!!!
Always a fu-u-u-un time reading you Mark.
allen

[David Lewis Paget]

A good bit of fun there, Mark. Had me smiling all the way through,
David.

[Dr. Wood ?]

Brilliant take Mark, I know how you feel about continuing it and it really needs no more. When our British summer decides to make an appearance I will think of this..as we say in Brit land...Bloody well done!

[Mark]

"British summer": that's between September 1st and 3rd, right?

[Dr. Wood ?]

Yeah.....every OTHER year....

[Dr. Wood ?]

If you get the time, I would appreciate your view on my kids poem Granny Knot...It has been well received so far and I think you may enjoy it

[bob, small b. aka invs]

lol. i can relate to this. this year it's not just texas that's under siege of heat and drought. up here in wisconsin we've had close to thirty 90+ degree days so far this summer, with no relief in sight. unheard of for this part of the country. i'm sitting between two fans as i write this. at least now i have a tune to sing as i sweat.

[Marie]

This is a great poem, and it's certainly true about Texas. But aren't you cloning Tammy Wynette rather than Patsy Cline...?

[Mark]

Gosh, Marie, you may be right...I'll have to check on that!...Just got back from Wiki, and you're right--changes afoot!

[Marie]

I believe "Stand By Your Man" won best country-western song of the decade, or something like that. George Jones's "He Stopped Loving her Today" was second...but I think it should have been first...