Goodbye Too Soon

Chapter Five

“I love you.” I whispered kissing Helushka’s chest the next morning and moving so that I was on top of him.

“I think I could get used to waiting for you to wake up if I get this.” He smiled and rolled over on top of me kissing me eagerly.

“I think I could get used to mornings.” I sighed as his lips moved to my neck and his fingers ran over every bump and crevice on me. He didn’t bother answering as he took his lips back up to mine and I automatically pushed closer to him. He gently moved my legs though as the kiss became more than just our normal.

“Aponi and Helushka!!” Chief Heammawihio announced when we walked out of the tent. Helushka’s arm was around me even though it wasn’t proper even for a married Native American to hold onto his wife in public. He was allowed to do anything he wanted though and nobody would say anything to him he was not only a man now he was a married man. He could do anything to me and anything he wanted. Everybody was cheering as we walked towards the breakfast fire but I realized the tents were already down for moving day. Helushka and I wouldn’t be getting to celebrate like a normal couple Chief Heammawihio had decided that we’d all move this afternoon. Helushka tightened his arm feeling my disappointment start to radiate.

“We’ll celebrate at the new camp.” He whispered but his voice was hiding something.

“Can we go talk?” I whispered realizing something when I looked across the table. He nodded tensely following my gaze. We walked out of the feast and towards the woods not actually going into them. We weren’t allowed to be in private today so we couldn’t even discuss this in the privacy of the woods. “When are you leaving to finish your training as a vampire?” I whispered as I fought tears. This time would be even harder to have him leave, he was my husband and now he was leaving me.

“I’m not sure.” He admitted trying to hug me but I turned away from him. “Please, Nayeli, I’m trying to convince Bryan to let me stay here.”

“You married me but you’re going to leave me.” I whispered trying to be angry but it was impossible with all the tears falling down my face.

“I’m not leaving you.” He said tightly making a decision. “I’m staying with you forever.”

“How?” I whispered turning as he put his arms around me.

“By being where you are. They won’t let anything happen to me.” He shrugged, “I’m not going to leave you. I’d regret it the rest of my life.”

“I love you, Helushka.” I whispered standing on my tiptoes so I could kiss him even though I could get in trouble for that.

“I love you too.” He promised before pulling away and leading me back over to the fire. He held me close the entire meal and then I watched as he got to compete with all the other men in a bow and arrow competition. I knew I was way too into the competition when Posala poked me in the ribs with her elbow to get my attention.

“The feast was very nice wasn’t it?” she asked nodding her head towards all the women looking at me with reproachful eyes and I remembered one of the things I’d lost the right to do when I’d married was to be a ‘tomboy’, as the whites would call it, I now had to be a good wife.

“It was very nice thank all of you for making it for us you should have woken me and I would have helped you.” I said trying to fix my mistake and also trying to not let the grief I was feeling about not being able to hunt anymore show.

“Aponi?” Helushka called for me and I smiled apologetically at all the women and ran over to him trying to make it seem like I was just being a good wife instead of really just wanting to be with the men like I was used to being.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Do me a favor and shoot the winning arrow?” he asked, “No matter if you hit or not we’ll win.” He smiled and kissed my forehead making it obvious to everybody in the tribe he was giving me permission to still be me. I smiled a little as I aimed quickly and then I shot the arrow splitting the apple that everybody had been working to hit on the tree but everybody had missed. As soon as I realized what I’d done I ran. I always made sure I didn’t let the tribe see just how well I could shoot no woman was allowed to practice until she was that good and it was obvious that I’d practiced even more than the warriors in our tribe had.

“Stop!” Chief Heammawihio ordered me before I even got to the woods and I stopped. I’d never broken a direct order from the chief he was the only one I hadn’t broken the orders from but I hadn’t broken his. “How long have you been practicing to get that good?”

“I’m not sure.” I whispered my head bent but suddenly I felt Helushka’s hand on my chin pulling it up and his arm around my waist.

“Don’t look down, Nayeli, you did good.” He whispered holding me close.

“I’m a girl I’m not allowed to be good.”

“You’re future Medicine Woman you’re allowed to do whatever you want.” He reminded me of something I’d forgotten.

“I needed to protect myself if anything happened.” I spoke up.

“What do you mean?”

“Medicine Woman is a dangerous job.”

“You are using…” Chief Heammawihio trailed off no longer allowed to argue I had brought my future job into the argument and that made me safe. “It is time to leave. We need to set up camp before night.” He shook his head.

“Helushka we need to get back to school.” Bryan spoke for the first time.

“I’m not going back to school.” Helushka said with every eye in the tribe on him, “My place is here in my tribe. I have a wife and I have duties that I need to start getting to.”

“You understand that you can only survive a few hours after I leave?”

“You’d leave him?!” I yelled, “You wouldn’t stay?!”

“Aponi.” Helushka said for the first time since he’d said ‘I love you’. The tribe looked at us as for the first time he used his power as husband to correct me. I pulled away from him just like I would’ve anybody else and started to leave but he grabbed my hand before I could leave all the way and pulled me back into his arms wrapping both around me. He knew I was just hurt.

“Bryan I’m not willing to leave, Nayeli.” Helushka continued.

“You have two choices.” Bryan said simply, “I told you them before you finished the ceremony and you chose to think you could make another… you can stay here and end up dying or you can leave her until you finish the change and just come visit and let her visit you.”

“You have to leave.” I whispered into Helushka’s chest.

“I told you I wouldn’t leave you.”

“I’m thinking about the fact that I have the choice of you leaving me now and coming back for visits and then coming back to me for good or you staying and leaving for good in a few hours.” I whispered.

“I’m sorry, Aponi. If I had known that I’d really have to leave you I wouldn’t have married you.”

“That’s making this so much better.” I snapped pulling away angrily, “You regret marrying me.” I started towards the little tipi that was Shimasani’s and opened it stepping into the spot she’d set up for me and holding onto the pillow.

“They decided we could have some time alone.” He said closing the flap of the tipi.

“I don’t want time alone.” I shook my head getting up.

“Aponi as your husband I order you to sit down.” He said and even though I could tell in his voice it wasn’t an order it was him begging for something to just get me to let him try to get me to understand. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“What part ordering me to shut up in front of everybody, leaving me, saying you…” I trailed off swallowing unable to say it, “… or just ordering me to listen to you.” I snapped.

“All of it I’m sorry. I don’t regret marrying you for the reason you think. I regret it because I know that this is hurting you more than it would have if we were still just dating.” He whispered wrapping his arms around me and I felt myself betraying my brain and relaxing into his arms. “Thank you.” He sighed feeling the forgiveness.

“So we’re allowed alone time?” I asked.

“Yes?” He nodded and instead of answering the question in his voice with words I just let my kiss answer it for me. I let it tell him how much I loved him and how much I would miss him and then I felt his hands start to tell me the same thing in a whole new way. There was something different about this then what had happened the night before but I didn’t think about it more than the fact that I couldn’t think about anything other than him and his hands and touch and body.

“I love you.” I whispered breathlessly while he kissed my stomach.

“Ummm…” he sighed his hands moving back to my thighs and I felt my pleasure grow as his hand ran along it while he kissed me before he gently helped me arrange myself around him.

“I’m going to miss you.” I promised as we stood in front of the car.

“I’ll come visit soon.” He promised kissing me softly again and I felt all of my organs move so I just held on trying to prolong it. He did pull away though and with his hand on my chin he smiled at me a little. “Please try to be good, Nayeli.” He whispered, “And don’t out hunt too many of the men.” He smiled sadly when Bryan’s hand went on his shoulder.

“Bye.” I whispered after he kissed me.