CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

These thoughts frequent my mind these days; and my unquenchable, elusive need to run away and escape. This occupies my time, every day, every hour.

What could possibly be so wrong with a love like this? He gives me a reason to believe when I was ready to give up hope that life has something meant to be lived for me, a reason to dream, a reason to follow my heart, and will stand by me if tomorrow I decide to rob a bank, or commit murder. To me, that’s love in its truest, rarest form. We are part of each other’s souls, divided by time, brought back together by fate and destiny.

My favourite author once said, in one of his stories, that important encounters are planned by the souls, long before the physical meetings occur. The only such encounter this describes in my life right now is this one with Gerard. I have never had someone’s personality agree with mine, as his does. Our love making is intense, our passion a burning flame that can torch any sky into lighting ablaze red and hot.

Why then is it so wrong?

Is it wrong to love another that has already pledged his love and devotion to another? Can human minds not change? Can lives not drift apart and love blossom in unexpected places?

And more so, why does the God we so trust and believe in lead us not only to cross paths with, but fall utterly in love with someone we cannot build a conventional life with?

Despite the struggles and all the worries my heart encounters when trying to justify the situation, Gerard and I have as stable a relationship as any other. He visits me as often as a courting couple should see each other. He loves me. I love him. He loves his wife and son dearly.

For as long as I can remember and I’m certain as long as I’ve drawn breath, I have yearned to have love in my life. I want to have someone that is mine, that I can come home to after a tiring day; we’d give each other massages, talk about our day, cook in our very own kitchen, dine at our dinner table, laugh over a bottle of wine and after this, lie on the sofa and fall asleep to whatever is on TV.

Strangely though, I’m not desirous of getting married. I absolutely detest the idea of coming home to a man I’ve signed a contract to stay with “’till death do us part”. I love you now, I most likely forever will and my intentions are to show you this for the rest of my life. Shouldn’t that be enough? A bird should never be caged.....

I most certainly do not want a white picket fence, a house of screaming children, and an adoring husband. I want to travel, to write, to eat, to experience and be influenced by different cultures, to fall hopelessly in love.

Gerard gives me everything I felt was missing from my sombre life. The exception, the price to pay, the factor to look past if you will: he’s very much married, and quite happily so.

 

One year ago we stumbled upon each other when we were both part of the same bridal party, when his brother married my best friend Dianne.

I never imagined I’d fall in love with the best man. How could I have thought it possible after I met his wife, held his baby while they had dinner and danced. I felt nothing for him.

At this point in my story, married women everywhere are ferociously angry at realising this is a story told by the perpetual “other woman”. The woman that comes into your family’s life with one clear intention: to break your happy home, to destroy you.

Admittedly, I always felt this exact way about such women myself, until I became one, and realised the plight and perils of being an extra part, a plan B, an option.

For all the hopeless romantics out there, who believes we have the power to stop something that is truly meant to be?

Our souls were destined to meet; we were destined to fall in love, so we made a pact. We are not Romeo and Juliet, so this promise will never encourage to either one. We simply vowed never to leave each other’s side, no matter what!