Finally

Finally

A Poem by A. Rose

 

Finally!

 

It took me to long to do this

But I have finally said goodbye

Know this, that you I will not miss

No more will I have to endure your lies

 

I am free as a bird

Now that I have gone away from you

Never again having to listen to your words

That were never even close to true

 

I don'f feel bad I don't feel blue

I feel as happy as can be

Since away from you I have flew

Never again will we disagree

 

Oh, how happy I am to be free

I have broken our unbreakable ties

Oh can't you see

I have said goodbye!

 

Finally!

 

© 2009 A. Rose


Author's Note

A. Rose
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Featured Review

I agree with Adeline, very good feeling you have in this piece; and the Finally! at the beginning and the end give it a sense of spiraling, which is always great in a poem.
I think you may want to examine your meter more closely, however. There are lots of lines that are a little choppy imo. Viz; 'That were never even close to true' could be contracted just a bit into 'That were never close to true' or 'That weren't even close to true.'
What I would recommend is that you read through the poem aloud, to get a feeling of the meter, and then make what changes you think you should.
However, I liked the feeling you expressed through this work. It was the end of a relationship, but it wasn't depressing, it was uplifting. It felt like the narrator is on to bigger and better things. I love it.
Keep writing!

Scott

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I agree with everyone. It was a great peice. One grammer thing, though i shouldn't be one to comment about it considering my horrid grammar.
"I don'f feel bad I don't feel blue"
Should be
"I don't feel bad, I don't feel blue"
But thats it. I think. Ah, well it doesn't matter, i liked this peice none the less.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Not bad, still dig deeper to show the raw emotion involved.

Posted 9 Years Ago


It shows a lot of inner strength... breaking away from a relationship is difficult even when it is hurting you... very nicely expressed.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i

Posted 9 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i love it. i see you have have real talent :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I agree with Adeline, very good feeling you have in this piece; and the Finally! at the beginning and the end give it a sense of spiraling, which is always great in a poem.
I think you may want to examine your meter more closely, however. There are lots of lines that are a little choppy imo. Viz; 'That were never even close to true' could be contracted just a bit into 'That were never close to true' or 'That weren't even close to true.'
What I would recommend is that you read through the poem aloud, to get a feeling of the meter, and then make what changes you think you should.
However, I liked the feeling you expressed through this work. It was the end of a relationship, but it wasn't depressing, it was uplifting. It felt like the narrator is on to bigger and better things. I love it.
Keep writing!

Scott

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this as well, I know these feelings all to well,
This is wonderfully expressed.


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this! and the picture is perfect for it. I like how you had the finally! at the beginning and end, it gave the reader a sense of conclusion and at the beginning it helped see it was a good thing that knowing this person was over with, if that makes sense. nice work!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 24, 2009
Last Updated on October 24, 2009

Author

A. Rose
A. Rose

Walkin on Sunshine



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Hi! For some reason my other account won't let me sign in, so I had to make a new one. My other account name is Mitji. So hi to my old friends and my new ones. I am a big reader and big music listener.. more..

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