Escape Artist

70 more minutes
until you take me home
in attempt to avoid my mother's fury.

driving past eighteen wheelers,
compact cars
and terrible yellow pick ups
pounding the ceiling with each broken headlight.

you,
comparing me to a boy;
the curiosity of 6 year old
with a libido like i just turned 13.

me,
correcting your grammar
with each passing story,
punctuating every sentence with a laugh.

your headlights invade the black space
on the road as you crest the hill,

taking me safely home,
leaving me 24 hours
to try and escape to you.
 

Reviews

[Nicole Marie]

I love it: "punctuating every sentence with a laugh." And how each stanza is like a different scene, or frame. What an excellent and fitting titie. You write well about love and sex. Admirable stuff.

[PianoandPage]

i really love this alot. it has the natural quirks and idiosyncratic moments that define really great relationships.

i completely relate to the "mother's anger" you are escaping from. and

"escape to you" - again a very well put idea.

you are a new favorite i think.

[Stephanie Skaggs]

"you,
comparing me to a boy;
the curiosity of 6 year old
with a libido like i just turned 13."

Molly, encapsulated.

Wonderful.

[Emily B]

The narrator has all the bubble and charm of an almost-woman but in a deeper and more meaningful way . . .

[Just Manoosh]

I love the way this piece captures the moment naturally ....

There is no over bearing point to be made, no gruesome heartache to spill, just a young mind counting the hours away until she sees her love one again.

If I say very cute is that a detrimental remark?

Wonderfully done.
Mx

[J. Hampton]

J ~ sent this ....
I enjoyed the way this jaunted along
the way the verses and thoughts interact is bubbly an scattred
much like a teen girl chatters

Missed this... ???

"and terrible yellow pick ups
pounding the ceiling with each broken headlight. "

Nicley styled

Blessssssssss

[vanishing]

The flow is captivating
I enjoyed the perspective
Abstract colorful projections
The clarity puts one on the driver's seat
I enjoyed reading this
Thanks

[J]

There's a whimsicalness to this that's a very welcome breath of fresh air... these details are very dynamic, humorous, and real.

I enjoyed this a lot.
J

[THE BLACK SEAL]

very interesting, i like what you did with this one

[Forest Green]

Read like prose inside of a poem. Very good...this is my kind of poetry, ending with a nice zing.

Excellent.

Daniel