Break Away

I swear i have not changed,

but i dont feel the same, 

i want to yell in vain,

and cant recall my name,

I cry so hard at night,

still fueled by my fright,

I know I'd like to spite,

 and in the end thats right,

I see that you aren't smart,

I told you twice to part,

but you find you cannot start,

my words stab you like darts

I rhyme time and again,

Id like to play pretend,

and act like we're just friends

i know time will not mend

My heart beats fast for you ,

the rhyme it feels so true,

and yet there are quite few,

who understand this news

I just want you to see,

I will never quite be,

the love you see in me,

is  less than mine for thee

I ask you now to run,

i know we've had some fun,

but the rain has hid the sun

and I ask you now to....

"Nevermind, I cant ask that of you, I rhymed thinking it seemed sweeter and that you'd see my point, I don't want you to leave, I don't ever want that but please for your own sake leave me, I'd never even ask it of you if I didn't feel it was right." 

Just dont forget that I,

have never said goodbye,

I had to tell a lie,

and then run off and cry,

I dont want you to leave,

but yet you hold the key,

and as long as I shall be

I will always love thee.

Author's Note

(okay, yes i know your thinking, "umm.. ok? she rhymes weird for like 7 stanzas and then stops says something that i really dont quite feel fits and then keeps rhyming...ok? whatever" but I have purpose in everything I write and if you feel this way at least understand the intentions and purpose behind this hold deep personals reasons that i dout anyone will quite get to its entirety) plz review and add any comments you feel neccesarry, as personal as it is, I really could use the critisism.

Reviews

[Allison]

This is really sweet! (In a kind of depressing way...you know what I mean). Yeah, the rhyming is a little weird, but I think that makes is pretty aweomse, hun. I may suggest that you even try to put the interjecting part into stanza form, but still in quotation marks so everyone knows that it's a message.

-Pokie

[Mithridate]

at least you know words that rhyme! :) it gets hard for me to find words that rhyme. great poem :D

[Haifa]

Great job, to write about these things it just makes you feel better.

[nmayberry96]

...

[chaotic katie]

i loved it fantastic job it was great and easy to relate to also the imagry was awesome and the emotion was right on i loved every bit of this.

[Tina Kline]

Actually, I think this would make a great song about someone in love with, thinks that person should leave them yet doesn't want them to and doesn't really make them. A nice conflicted love song. And the talking part works well with the overall poem, I think.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I actually liked the paragraph. Its like a really cool song where the speaker goes into monologue in the crucial breakdown. It has been done successfully by many bands and one band in particular TOOL is arguably the best. I love the push and pull of your emotions and that really gives the reader the genuine gravitational forces of decisions that must be made because of love.

[Mary]

i like it, even though it is kinda confusing ^^ keep it up :)

[Poetic Beauty]

It is a little weird but many poems are written many different ways. You have expressed your feelings completely and the reader can tell this cause the narrator great distress. Keep writing.