For Leslie, 2018

Where can I put this 
melancholia

Endless tears I’ve cried
 for you, dear friend

We were friends for 
more than one minute

But less than a lifetime

All the hues of cinema 
dull my heart to gray

Always the one watching from afar
but with nothing to say

I prayed a lot even though I hated God

Just to hope you’re in a better place

I can’t look at my own face 
remembering yours

Can’t rid this bitter taste
 or scrub it out

I know my soul’s displaced 
and all that’s left of you

Is nostalgia and memory

But even that’s fading now

And I can’t wait to turn
the movie back on.