Nightmare

I clamped my hands against my ears, but it did little to quiet the desperate cries for help that rang in my head. The voice, a woman's voice, airy and sweet, narrated for me, but I had long since stopped listening to her words. I had been like this for a while now. A month ago I first heard her voice in my dreams and thought little of it, but then a week after that I heard her again as I slept and she told me she had something to show me. It was pleasant. She showed me mountains stretching to the clouds and topped with glistening snow, rivers sparkling in the light of a warm sun, and a night sky bursting with billions of stars surrounding the glow of a pure white moon. This was a pure world she let me see, unpolluted by human interference, untouched by modern warfare, and undisturbed by overpopulation.
The scenic tours didn't last long. Only two weeks ago she showed me a village, quiet and peaceful. The life there was simple until there came a man plagued by his dark desire for violence. The voice called him a shadow. Every night I watched as he killed and tortured. Some villagers, those who had been hurt or lost family to the shadow man became hateful, even to the point of taking up arms to hunt him down. Violence spread. Some took advantage of the chaos to raid homes and abuse the women. Other villagers, plagued by fear, did anything to remain safe. No one could be trusted. It was kill or be killed.
Children without parents cried with loneliness. I put my head down and tapped my forehead against my desk. Make it go away. Why was I hearing this even while I was awake? The back of my eyelids were painted in red, splattered with the blood of a woman who yesterday had beaten a pickpocketing child to death. The father of that child withdrew his knife from the woman's heart. Horrified, I wrenched my eyes open and tried to focus on the black board at the front of my math class. This couldn't be real. Mr. Raynor's mouth moved, but all I heard were screams of pain and terror.
The school bell rang and finally the episode passed. The noise in my head faded away, but I could still remember them. Even in silence I felt disturbed.
“Litty, what’s up? You’ve been acting strange lately,” my friend Camy asked in a loud whisper from the desk beside mine. She gathered her books and prepared to leave for her next class.
“Really? I didn’t know I was any different. Maybe I’m just tired," I lied.
“Yeah,” Camy responded, but she still looked concerned.
Mr. Raynor waved me to his desk. “I’ll talk to you later, ‘kay?” I said. Camy nodded so I turned to face my math teacher. “What’s wrong, Mr. Raynor?” I asked.
“Lithallia, I noticed that your grades have been dropping recently,” Mr. Raynor said, “At the beginning of the year you were the best in my class, but this past month you’ve failed most of the quizzes and you’re doing less than minimal homework.” He looked down at his computer briefly and then back up to me. “Your grade is now a low D and bordering on a failing grade. What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry,” I replied, “I’ve just been a bit distracted. I’ll do better on the next test, I promise.”
“Are things okay at home?”
“Yes sir,” I replied and plastered a smile on my face to reassure him, “I promise I’ll do better next time.” He nodded as a dismissal and I left for my second period.
I got the same warning from almost every other teacher. By the end of the school day I was sick of hearing it. I needed something that would totally erase the nightmare from my mind. Professional counseling wasn’t an option. I didn't see how it could help and my family didn't exactly have oodles of money to spend on such an obscure problem.
I tried everything to make myself forget. I joined sports teams, but I wasn’t good and the nightmare was always in the back of my mind. I tried reading tons of books and throwing myself into school. Neither of those worked either. Often, I would try to distract myself by reading books to my young neighbor, Daniel, but around him the memories of the nightmares only became stronger. I wondered if it would help to tell someone, but I was afraid to tell my parents about it, I didn’t think Camy would believe me, and I didn’t want to scare Danny with tales of destruction and death. The only other possibility was Kya, my younger sister.
The only problem was that as an older sister I felt it was my responsibility to show that I was okay so that Kya didn’t have to worry about me. However, Kya was a good listener and she was always someone I could trust with a secret.
“Kya!” I called when I arrived home from school. It had been two months since the nightmare had started and I couldn’t stand it any longer.
“What’s up?” Kya asked as she came down the stairs to greet me.
“I need to talk to you about something important.”
Kya turned around. I knew where she was going and she wasn’t running away. The roof outside our room was the best place to talk in private because it was quiet and far away from everything else.

“Your dreams?” Kya asked when I told her about the nightmare.
“Yeah, I just can’t stop thinking about it.”
“You said someone talks to you?” I nodded. “Then why don’t you say something back. I know it sounds weird, but you could try asking it something. You know, like maybe it’s trying to tell you something important.”
“But it’s not even a real person. The voice is just a figment of my imagination.”
“You don’t know that. There’s always people claiming they hear spirits. They might be communicating through you. Or something.”
“You think I’m hearing spirits?” I raised one eyebrow.
“Well no,” Kya laughed, “but you never know. Maybe this voice doesn’t have to be something scary.”
“Now that you mention it,” I said, “I’ve never felt any fear while listening to the voice, only after seeing the people. Trying to communicate just might work. Thanks.”
“No prob,” Kya replied.
My stomach growled. I hadn’t eaten since my early lunch. Kya laughed. “Why don’t we bike to the town center. Mom’s not home yet and we’re almost out of food in the cabinet.”
That night I thought I might try Kya’s suggestion, but I was nervous. I didn't want to fall asleep again. In my dreams the images, the sounds, they were far too real. If I couldn't speak with the voice I would be forced to witness the decline and destruction of the village with no escape.
I lay awake on my bed fretting about it. The night went on. Midnight, I was still awake. Two o’clock, still restless. By five o’clock I gave up. I couldn’t sleep. I got up from my bed careful not to make a sound. Breakfast had to be something silent. Then I read a book, the same sentence over and over. Each time I became distracted by the memory of my nightmare village. Too soon it was time for school.
The math classroom was warm. Mr. Raynor wrote notes on the board and I copied in shaky handwriting, but my pencil kept trailing off. I snapped my head up and blinked until my eyelids stopped feeling heavy. My eyelids fluttered. I squeezed them shut and wrenched them open in another lame attempt to stay focused. Just a minute or two later my head hit the desk. Hard.
Suddenly I couldn’t move my legs. An intense pain burned in my chest and my head throbbed. I glanced around and screamed in horror. There was so much blood. The bodies of at least six other people littered the ground around me. Every one was soaked in glossy red color. I touched my head and winced. There was a deep gash from my right ear across my forehead. What had happened? A child lay dead next to me. I stifled another scream. Where was I? The child felt so very familiar to me. I was crying, sobbing. The deep-rooted anguish I felt when I looked at the child beside me was far fiercer pain than I felt from my aching body. I heard footsteps and looked up. In front of me the silhouette of the shadow man wavered on his feet. His face was hidden by darkness, however, I could very clearly see the light reflecting off the silver knife the shadow held. As a reflex I grabbed the hand of the child next to me and tried to stand up. I couldn’t. My legs were frozen. I felt the cold hand of the child tighten around mine. Still alive! The kid was still breathing. I had to get him out of here away from the silhouette in front of me. I pulled the kid close to me and clawed my fingers into the earth. Slowly, I dragged us away, gasping for breath. I knew I was too slow. I squeezed my eyes shut. “Someone, please help me,” I breathed desperately. “Save this boy. Save me!” No one came. I tried to move once more, dragging my body with my free arm. The knife rose above my head ready to steal the last of my life. I stopped moving and wrapped my arms around the boy as tightly as I could. With the last of my breath I screamed again. The sound seemed to shatter the sky.
“Litty?” A familiar voice called from above the clouds. “Litty?” It called again in panic. It was Camy. Slowly I opened my eyes afraid that when I opened them I would realize I was no longer alive. However, I found myself in the Math room surrounded by forty concerned faces. Camy was holding my trembling hand.
I was confused. “Where did the kid go?” I asked frantically scanning the crowd.
“What kid?” Camy asked. “Litty, what happened?”
“I don’t know. What do you mean?” I said. My mind seemed to have gone blank.
“You were screaming and begging for help,” she explained almost in tears.
“Do you want to go to the nurse?” Mr. Raynor asked.
“I’ll take her,” Camy said, taking me by the hand. Dazed, I followed Camy’s lead.
The nurse told me to lie on the bed while she called my parents. Camy sat by my bed and continued to hold my hand. I was glad she did. Her hand was my anchor to the real world, the world outside my dreams.
In spite of myself, I drifted off to sleep again, but this time I didn't see anything but darkness. “We need your help,” the familiar voice of my dreams said.
“How?” I asked, surprised that I felt so conscious within my own dream.
“Our world is like a mirror of your own. You can travel between these two worlds only when you dream, but you must keep this amulet with you in order to be consciously active in the mirror world.” Out of the darkness a small light gleamed. Instinctively, I reached out to the dim red glow. My fingers closed around it. At first it felt warm. Then it began to heat up. Soon it was almost too hot to hold on to, but I didn’t dare let go. I wanted to keep it. It burned my hands and I started to panic. If I let go I would lose my connection to this mirror world. I couldn’t even understand why I wanted that connection so badly. I breathed in short gasps of air. The glowing light was too hot. I suddenly felt a gentle pressure on my hand and remembered that I was dreaming. It wasn’t real. Camy was sitting by the bed in the nurse’s office holding my hand. It was okay. Everything was okay.
“You okay?” Camy asked.
“Yeah, I’m okay now.” Camy looked relieved.
“What’s that?” She said pointing to something in my right hand. I relaxed my fingers and stared at the object, not daring to believe it. An amulet lay on my palm. Despite my fear of it I was awed by its beauty. The amulet didn’t seem to have a distinct color. The glass ball that hung on the chain looked clear with hint of pink and barely visible was a wisp of dark violet and red in the center of it. Threads of silver wrapped in intricate patterns around the glass ball like a falling river. The charm hung on a blood red chain where six other clasps hung, three on either side of the glass ball, as if there were other ornaments that were intended to hang upon the chain. The tiny links had a very delicate appearance. I pulled on both ends with intentions of breaking it and I wasn’t sure whether it was fear or curiosity that drove me to do so. It didn’t matter. The chain wouldn’t break or show any signs of weakening no matter how hard I pulled.
I suddenly became aware of Camy’s gaze, waiting for my answer to her question. I wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t sure what exactly it was myself.
“Are you ready to go?” I heard my mom ask me. She had finally come to take me home. I nodded slowly.
“Bye,” Camy said, “I hope you feel better soon.” She headed back to class. She looked uncomfortable and I wanted to offer her some reassurance, but I was sure anything I said would be obviously superficial.
On the way home I spotted Mrs. Gilbs house. I didn’t particularly care much for her. She was mean sometimes and always seemed to have an icy glare fixed in my direction when I walked from my house to the bus stop. However, she was Daniel's mother so I overlooked her distain for me since I liked her son.
He was young, six years old, but he was extremely smart, incredibly cute and very kind. I often spent hours at his house playing games and reading books with him. I loved him like he was my own brother.
I told my mom to stop the car. I had a deep feeling of dread that sat like a heavy block of lead in my stomach. The small boy in my dream had looked familiar. I wasn't sure why I hadn't realized it then. I ran to the door and banged on it. What are you so worried about? I asked myself. It was a dream. Dreams don’t affect the real world, right?
Ms. Gilbs opened the door. “Is Danny alright?”
“What are you doing on my doorstep? Shouldn’t you be at school?” Ms. Gilbs asked in her usual disapproving tone. I ignored her question.
“Danny is all right, right?”
“How did you know he was sick?” Ms. Gild looked down at me out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t bother to hide the suspicion from her voice. I heard it. I just couldn’t understand where it came from. What exactly could she suspect me of doing?
That was besides the point. I didn’t wait for an invitation and pushed past her and into the house. I ran up the stairs two at a time, but stopped right before Danny’s bedroom door and knocked. No response. Quietly, I pushed open his door. His room was small, but comfortable. It was messy, but nothing more than what could be expected from a six-year-old. Danny was lying on his bed and sat up when I came in. “Danny?” I whispered.
“I’m fine,” he said before I could ask. I sat on the edge of his bed. “It’s nothing to worry about anymore. I’m fine. Actually, I wanted to see you.”
“See me? Why?” I repeated.
“I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
“Me?”
“I was a little angry to begin with since you were so scared, yet you wouldn't run away. I can't deny, though, that I was happy you stayed.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“The shadow with the knife that tried to kill us both,” Danny started as if it was strange that I didn't understand right away.
“Stop. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Danny paused for a moment then said, “This,” Danny pointed at the amulet I had in my hand, “I know what it is.”
“How? What is it?”
“I’ve heard of it from stories and tales.”
“But I’ve never heard of such a thing before.”
“No, because it doesn’t belong to this world. I can tell you a legend about it though. I know it by heart."
I stared at him for a long moment, then yielded and nodded. I was interested.
“Long ago Wise Sage Cantery grew tired of how humans were treating the world they lived in and the people they lived with, so he created a new world, one that mirrored Earth except that it was fresh: no humans, no pollution, no technology. He created beasts and plants to populate his new world and created a river as a source of life for everything.
Years later he took a survey of his new world. As he walked along the river Life he realized it was fading. He had not supplied it with enough power initially to sustain his world. In a desperate attempt to save Life he dug the river deeper and wider for one-hundred-fifty-three days. When he simply could not dig any longer he lay down to sleep. And sleep he did for a very long time.
“As Cantery slept unaware of the world around him, the beautiful creatures of Mirror drew toward the river again in greater numbers. And with those creatures came their shadows. The shadows too could feed on the waters of Life, but they grew greedy and took more than their fair share. The river began to dry up once more, causing fear and sorrow to taint the hearts of Mirror's beautiful creatures.
“When Cantery awoke he saw how his river was fading, but he remembered the exhaustion he felt after renewing it and he felt he had failed in creating a perfect new world. However, Cantery could not bring himself to return to Earth where war and death were commonplace, so he decided instead to make a companion with whom he might waste away the rest of his life in ignorance and peace. He created a shell in the form of his beloved, yet no matter how he tried he could not create a soul for it. Then one night in a state of sleep he called desperately for his beloved and she answered, but only her voice could reach him from so far away. He held onto her voice and poured that essence of her into the shell. Little by little he used the pieces of his beloved’s soul that he could reach from his dreams to fill the shell. He named his companion Avril because his beloved’s name was April yet her doppleganger was not her in entirety.
“Shadows ran rampant in Mirror, but Cantery ignored the fear and corruption by allowing Avril to become his whole world. She did not feel the same way. Avril was very kindhearted and wanted nothing more but peace in her world. On the night of the winter solstice Avril tore out her soul that had grown much since she was first born from bits and pieces of the original and she threw that soul into Life. Because her intentions were pure the light of Avril’s soul strengthened Life and destroyed all of the shadows save one.
“The last shadow lost his only source of power since Life become poison to him. Upon meeting Cantery one day beside Life’s edge he discovered a new, stronger, and more sating source of power for himself and began to feast upon Cantery’s despair.
“In the depths of his sorrow Cantery sought a way by which he might bring his true beloved to Mirror from Earth yet again. For that purpose he set about creating a path to her through his dreams, the dimension where he had first heard her voice. In his relentless search for a pathway to his beloved he did not notice that, despite Life’s pure light, the shadows were growing again due to the new source of power: his sorrow. The beautiful creatures feared the shadows and sought escape. They lay in wait, for they knew of Cantery’s genius.
“On the day of the winter solstice again Cantery succeeded. He created a mental pathway to Earth that he could use only as he dreamed. He found, however, that his memory of Earth faded when he awoke in Mirror, so he created a powerful jewel that saved his memories while he dreamed and he named it M’appelle. The beautiful creatures took advantage of the power of the jewel and tore open a gateway in Cantery's dreams in hopes of escape to Earth. Their plan failed and the great burst of power split every soul on Earth in two. Cantery was unable to put the souls back together and some were lost in shattered and chaotic dimensions of Mirror along with river Life. He had no choice, but to use all of his remaining energy to create as many shells for the split souls as he could. To prevent the interaction of shells with halves of the same soul he returned all of the unique souls to Earth and kept their doppelgangers in Mirror. When he ran out of power his life faded away and M’appelle was broken into eight pieces, each piece containing Cantery’s memories, desires, and powers. Earth picked up where it left off since nothing had been lost. With the disappearance of Life in Mirror, though, shadows ran rampant and feasted upon the despair of the split or shell-less souls of the people. Mirror was thrown into chaos.”
Danny finished his tale and I raised an eyebrow at him. “Now if I were crazy I would say you were trying to tell me that this amulet was Cantery’s M’appelle and with it I can travel to the world I dream about every night which apparently is named Mirror.”
Danny attempted a weak smile. “Guess your crazy,” he said.
“That’s crazy!” I exclaimed.
“I think we covered that now,” Danny commented.
The weakness in his voice reminded me of the reason or my visit. "Danny I dreamed that we were attacked. Are you hurt?”
“Well if you feel like believing the legend then the easy answer would be that your doppleganger and I were indeed attacked by a shadow in Mirror.”
“And that’s all? How did you get so badly injured?” I asked.
Danny looked like he was getting upset. I knew he would. “I just told you,” he said.
“No, you looked practically dead! Why didn’t you run?”
“The shadow stabbed you in the leg first so you couldn’t run. I couldn’t just leave you behind.”
“Oh yeah and you were a huge help,” I snapped at him. He frowned. “Next time just run.”
Danny laughed bitterly. “Same to you,” he replied. I gritted my teeth. He wasn’t being fair. “Go home and get some sleep.”

On the short walk home I noticed the shape of the amulet was burned into my palm. A mirror image was on the back of the same hand. I assumed that whether I wanted it or not, no matter how much I feared it and how much it worried me, I had the connection to Mirror. Maybe it was a good thing. I just wasn’t sure why yet.
I was crying when I walked through the front door and my mom asked me what was wrong. I said nothing. I made no attempt to lie to her.
The two of us were the only ones home. Kya was still at school and dad was at the office. I went to my bed and fastened the amulet around my neck and lied down to sleep. I wondered what I would see if I actually woke up in a different dimension.
It took a while, but I finally fell asleep again. For the first time I saw clearly the world I had been told so much about. It was as beautiful as I had imagined it. I stood in a grassy field along a shimmering brook. The sun was warm and low on the horizon as if it was just beginning to light a new day. A gentle breeze blew my hair back. It was hard to believe that this beautiful world was infested by such a horrid being.