New birth

some people's lives

since I could walk

I walked into a domain calld "slavery"

I could never express my agony

you always come to my feast

but why do you tell me that I'm a beast

you say it doesn't matter how bad it makes

though you punish me for my mistakes

I shoold be rude to you not to myself

when you made me feel like an elf

but I'm here tonight 

and I will make it right

I am not giving up on us

God knows how much I'm tough

the voice in my heart is thunderous

staying here is dangerous

I will search all the 4 corners of earth

just for a new birth :)

Author's Note

i'd honor your criticism

Reviews

[Wórdsmíth]

A minor error in this line ... "I shoold be rude to you not to myself" .. The spelling`s "SHOULD" not "SHOOLD".. Hahah! ;)

Beautiful poem, my friend .. you always come up with some great ideas to refresh the minds of your readers ;)

[Brave girl]

yeah i know i do a lot of typos,thanks anyway

[Wórdsmíth]

Haha, but your typos are always seemed as nice as you ... your welcome, my friend ;)

[Brave girl]

lol ........ :)

[Alex Figueroa]

great =] i like the last line that ties everything together
"I will search all the 4 corners of earth
just for a new birth :)"
=]

[Brave girl]

thanks dear writer

[Alex Figueroa]

youre welcome =P

[Brave girl]

=D

[Alex Figueroa]

=]

[Tate Morgan]

I dont quite understand this poem it seems to be about overcoming anothers downgrading of you

[Brave girl]

maybe,it's a bit mystirious but I do understand it...but thanks for reading anyway :)

[Tim Lion]

:)

[Brave girl]

lol :)

[Sami Khalil]

"God knows how much I'm tough

the voice in my heart is thunderous

staying here is dangerous

I will search all the 4 corners of earth

just for a new birth :)"
Wow. You are growing poetically by leaps and bounds . You are going deeper and deeper reaching to the core of your soul. Bravo...:)

[Brave girl]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your review ,i think that those lines are actually my favourite too :)

[Sami Khalil]

I do agree. I like that kind of strong poetry with strong feelings...Good job on this one...:)

[Brave girl]

thanks again dear writer :)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure. Do you know how to send a read request. Next to you poem there is a read request on the side . Press that and click on writers you want them to read your poems. You have to add them as friends...:)

[Brave girl]

okey thanks for the info :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...Salamo Aleikum...:)

[Brave girl]

hehehe i'm glad you said that!

[Sami Khalil]

That is what I believe if you know what I mean...:)

[Brave girl]

i know what u mean and yes i am muslim too!

[Sami Khalil]

Hahaha. Greetings to you and your family...:)

[Brave girl]

yeah thanks!

[Sami Khalil]

^^~^^ :)

[Brave girl]

:)

[beautiful dreamer]

very nicely done very very good. i like it. i'm not much of a critic i'm sorry but i do believe it's very well written and gets the point across clearly while still making you think

[Brave girl]

thank you so much,and i'm so glad you liked it :D