2nd Testimony- "Stranger"

Dear Haides,

It is finally October. What a wonderful time of year it is, at least to most of us. The multiple colors of foliage crunch on the ground, the cool wind blows my weightless wings at night time, and a sudden chill rushes down my spine whenever I hear the wind chimes chanting my name- a symphony of comforting melody. The zephyr spun around me in infinite circles playing the same refrain; The harmony of the devil. I just finished enjoying the night time view outside.

The October skies have distressed the whitest clouds to form into gray. The autumn foliage stirred in perennials 'neath the burning rays of the full moon. The moon that burns my skin to its bones. A cold breeze entered my neck, giving me some hope before I sever back to into the ground.

A poor man was searching for glory and food inside the dumpster as a glass bottle rolled downward the sloped street. I was shedding my own wings for his lost soul as the sun was finally setting; the man went to look for his next home.

I like it when it is dusk because it makes you wonder what is hidden beneath the mystic darkness or if a new shelter awaits you. It keeps me comfortable, and more sane than alive. This morning also started off good, I usually gaze at the people whom are my best friends from afar. I do not mean to over analyze their thoughts and emotions, but somehow I can just feel it.

Although I am just a flightless cormorant standing at every window sill, or electricity line I can, I still feel like I enjoyed a few too many cups of coffee and breakfast with them. These people have no idea I am watching or listening to their familiar tunes of delicacy. But, they somehow do find time to come up and talk to me. The greatest part is that it usually is about everything they never discuss with one another. I am thankful for having that kind of gift. I may be reluctantly worried most of the time, but I love healing wounds. 

Harmonia is my other part of me, we are so alike, that I have this crazy idea that we could possibly share the same soul. She is my twin soul, but she also is human, like the rest of my dear friends. Reah is more of a best friend and soul sister to me, I feel like although she does not see me she can still read through me, unlike others. Sapphira and Laden are the couple of the group, and I love those two so much because both have been there through my worst days, cheering me up even letting out some anger on me on my toughest times- especially Laden. He would try his hardest to fix me and my mistakes by letting steam out, which I respect so much because it makes me know that he cares. Including the fact that his father had passed away, after fighting cancer for a couple years not too long ago, he has every need to release all his emotions to carry on. 

We all have been supportive to him, even during his weakest moments. For some reason I can sense his sadness, loss, pain, grief and agony of losing his own father. I can feel when he wants to cry and hides it, and still I cannot seem to get through his window pane. He cries, but what kind of man would he be if he didn't? 

Another good friend, by the name of Menos, is probably as dark as I, but maybe more vaguely. He would have his moments, but would talk to me about his problems, in details. I respect him for the fact that he does not like to hide a single piece of worry inside of him. In his opinion, all bad energy must be released, and if he ever needs a listener I will be there for him, on any power line or window sill. I am not the only one who is there to help others straighten up their crooked edges, however. 

Myron is still standing by my side, although I did leave a hole in him from the past, I still live with remorse by the day. Since the day I was crying with guilt on the phone with him, I still carry a burden of breaking his heart on my shoulders. We were once a couple, but a realization came to me that it was not meant to be, especially if he was more of a guardian to me than a lover. I left him for my own needs which was figuring out myself, and my heart is still pained for losing the chance with Iah. Things apparently did not work with Myron, but it is okay, if something was not meant to be then that is the way life goes. I just hopelessly lament from the bottomless tunes I release that one day me and Iah will be one. Life is like a river stream, and I follow where ever it may roam. Sometimes it is too late anyways; because the innocent move on faster than the guilty.

I am just thankful that Myron is still in my life and helping my every problem, even recovering from my past heartaches. A good friend can be kept forever. And all my friends have every piece of my soul- but sometimes I am not sure that I even deserve a soul.

My heart does not have space for anybody since Iah tore it apart. I fell into a trap and believed it would make me happy- yet I put myself into that situation. I did not want to layer a pile of dirt into the hole I dug myself in the Spring time, but I had to in order to conceal all of my dirty, filthy habits. Instead I was buried in the hole along with the stigma. I was subdued into crawling out of that hole, and I thank Anthemis for that. However, it is not the way of life I want to keep steering towards. That is when Myron helped pull me out again.

Myron has spoke to me of my addictions and made it clear it was not the proper destiny to follow through, nor was his drinking habits. So we both made an agreement to stop. It is going perfectly, but I crave it at my lowest times. Anthemis has always been there for me at low points in life like these. But I shall replace it with my testimonies instead. I hope you are understanding me Haides, because sometimes I cannot even understand my own mind. I am a sinister stranger to myself and the thoughts I create in my mind have always been a tragedy- a recipe with a significant mistake. Anthemis, please stop me from facing another problem again.

Sincerely, 

A Complete Stranger

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good chapter. I like the thoughts and the description of location and the people. I like how you made the reader feel like a observer also. Thank you for sharing the excellent chapter.
Coyote