Reason Why?

Something a little dark. I hope you enjoy!

As I lay on the floor bleeding, taking my last breath, I remember my life.

I remember you stabbing me in the stomach.

The dagger was bloodier every time you struck me.

You told me I couldn't give you what you wanted.

I remembered we started out with so much love.

Holding hands and kissing with all the best intentions.

We laughed and cried together never feeling alone. 

We had plans for the future. 

You used to tell me you loved me like no one else.

You said I was your princess, your goddess from above.

I really believed that I was someone special in your life.

That was before you went and stabbed me.

While the dagger was taken to my stomach you said something.

It nearly killed me faster when I heard you say it.

You told me I couldn't give you what you wanted so I had to die.

My heart broke as my soul descents into the darkness.

My soul finally had descended into the darkness.

I looked down at my lifeless body and I see you have not stuck around.

You left me for dead all because I couldn't give you what you wanted.

So, I needed to die for your selfish reason?

My soul has a stain on it because I loved you.

The darkness in my soul will never go away.

Sorrow in my soul seems to follow me everywhere.

I will forever have a stain of evil on my soul.

I just have one question for you..... Why did I have to be the reason for your hate?

Reviews

[Phillitup]

I feel like the first line should definitely have commas. The last line in the second stanza feels unconnected and like two separate sentences. I would add either a comma or an extra period plus one capital letter. In the first line of the fifth stanza I feel like you should switch the words from my body to something else. The last line of the previous stanza has those same words and it would just make it flow a bit better. The last sentence of the last true stanza doesn't make much sense.

Overall I love this poem. It is dark and explores new territory and emotions. As I review work on this website I have noticed that injury is often related to love and blood is as common as sand is in real life, in a desert. I do feel like you did a better job then some. This is nicely penned! Don't take my suggestions if you don't want them. They are my opinion but I feel like it would help make this even better. Again, nicely and eloquently penned my poetic friend!
Best regards,
Dell

[MandaBear]

Thanks for the advice! I went back and took your advice I think I made it better now! I hope you will look at it again and see if you like it better now. Thanks for the advice and review.

[Phillitup]

I like it more now with the changes. I really love the new last line of the true last stanza. Your welcome and thanks for listening!

[Ahmad Cox]

It is dark but has a nice and beautiful flow.

[Krista Weiss]

Wow!! Amazing!!!! Loved it!! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem. I like the struggle and the darkness of the poem. I like the way you led the reader into question and pain. I like the question at the end of the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[rnuff]

goodness so powerful and emotional.
Deep as well.

[Felicity's Eve]

This is not a subject explored often, and you took the concept and made something beautifully (the way you wrote it and made the flow so great) tragic out of it.

Nicely done! :)