Being a parent is not easy, especially if you are a single parent.
Thankfully I got lucky, very lucky. Every Parent would say that their
child is unique, smart, the best, the cutest or even a genius. I would
say that she is gifted, definetly gifted. She has an uncanny ability to
understand me. Only a handful of people have been able to do that,
even so it took them years. To be able to do that at the age of three
is amazing. She gets that from her mother Priya, which is why I also
seem to be in sync with her. Just by looking at her I know what she
wants. Priya left Ditika and me when Ditika was 2 years old. I didn’t
get worried or bother to chase after her because I knew she wanted to
leave. I also know that she will come back when she is ready. Every
once in a while we get a post card with a photo, nothing is ever
written on it but I know it is her way of saying that she is alright
and we are always on her mind. I also make it a point to email her
about how Ditika is growing up and also send her pics of our sweet
Ditika. I am sure she would love to see how her daughter is growing up,
especially since she is far away from us. I don’t think Ditika is
affected much by her Mom’s absence because she knows that her Mom loves
her and she knows that her Dad needs her to be strong and so she is. I
love that about her, she has always made things easy for me.
Ditika wakes up everyday with the sole purpose of making sure that I
am not late for work. She knows how I love to sleep in, which is why
on Sundays she lets me sleep in. She has developed a routine to things
and makes sure that I keep to the routine. I sometimes wonder if God
put an old person’s soul in her body instead of a baby’s. She does
behave at times like a baby, especially are during thunder storms. She
crawls up to me and I hold her tight. Priya also used to do that during
thunder storms, I wonder how she handles them now. When Priya returns,
having two girls snuggle up to me is going to be fun. Ditika doesn’t
talk much as compared to other kids, most of her methods of
communication are through gestures which I have gotten used to.
Initially I was worried that she couldn’t talk. Then I noticed that she
has been watching a kids show that has a sign language translator on
the side, her curious mind was learning sign language among other
things. She is silent most of the time because she is observing and
learning. I remember when I was a kid, I used to do the same, except I
think she is on a completely different league than I was. I have been
teaching her colors, shapes, numbers, languages, music and art. She
does light workouts with me, so far only for strengthening her legs,
increasing her reflexes and light stretches. Funny thing is I don’t
have to force her or coax her into anything, her brain seem to be
acting like a sponge absorbing everything. Pretty soon I will have to
get the help of an expert for everything. When I worry about her taking
things so seriously she reminds me that she is still a child, she would
ask me to take her to the park because she loves the swing. It is her
favorite thing in the entire world other than ice cream and those dance
dance games. I love watching her be a child more than knowing that she
might grow up to be a genius. I sometimes worry about whether she
would be able to function like any other child her age or even get
along with them.
One time we went for a party and I left Ditika with the rest of the
kids, I was curious to see how she would handle the situation. She
systematically won over the entire group within the first hour. She
observed the whole group then she divided them into two. Ones that were
of her age group and the ones that were elder to her. The first group
she dominated by helping each child individually and the second she
dominated by making them feel the need to help her help the rest of the
group. So the bigger kids had the need to help her get what she wanted
and the kids of her age group felt the need to follow because she had
the backing of the older kids. I was happy that she got along with the
other kids but I was also afraid that she would never learn to develop a
friend. She would have a lot of lackeys when she grew up, with the
amount of skill that she displayed she would even be able to lead a
nation but that doesn’t mean squat if you are forever going to be
alone. I knew it wasn’t enough that me and Priya understood her, we had
to teach her to make friends. Since Priya wasn’t around I had to
figure out a way to do that. I wasn’t completely clueless about what I
was going to do for her, I knew how I was going to teach her how to
make friends and teach her that friendship doesn’t have anything to
with being equal, she needed to learn that anyone can be anybody’s
friend. What I didn’t know at that time was that a completely unlikely
source would teach her what friendship is.
Ditika isn’t going to have a normal life at least not in the way
that I hoped she would, hopefully this would make her mind open to
different situations. She might also get to learn that being different
or living in a different environment doesn’t mean that it is bad or
should be frowned upon. My Ditika is only three and may be it is too
soon to worry about such matters, tomorrow has infinite possibilities,
so I should let her grow at her own pace, in her own way. I probably
should let her make her own mistakes so that she grows from it. The
true test of character always came from knowing what you did after you
made a mistake. These are moments were she gets to be a child, I too
should enjoy these moments and make memories of them because once she
grows up who knows who she might become as an adult. I am hoping that
she remains a child forever and ever. Every dad knows it is an
impossible dream that eventually fades away. Look at me now, Four years
ago on this very day, if I didn’t do the things I did, I would have
never met Priya, I would have never had this lovely girl in my life
right now. My life wouldn’t have been so completely awesome. I probably
should tell you about Priya and how we met, after all she is My
Ditika’s Mother.
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