The Guardians

The Guardians

A Poem by Stephen
"

There are guardians that children may be free

"
down rivers of my youth,
did my thoughts stream.
when all seemed calm, 
and I was free to dream. 

the unforeseen evils, 
from the shadows I bid. 
lens of a wiser mind,
unveiling what was hid. 

regaining my awareness, 
distant memories fade. 
as colors of reality, 
darken beneath the shade. 

encroaching all around me, 
eternal evils have prevailed.
what was before hidden, 
by guardians once quailed.

the mantle of guardians, 
has now passed to me
As I carry out my duty, 
my children are free 

© 2015 Stephen


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Featured Review

This poem has quite a unique concept behind it(at least as far as writing on this website goes). The syntax that you opened it with in the first two lines flows fluently, and doesn't come across as clumsy or contrived in anyway. It serves as a fantastic way to start the poem. The poem is very well written for the most part, but there was one part(keep in mind that this is only my opinion, which is more than likely wrong), that just felt a bit off to me.

the unforeseen evils,
from the shadows I bid.
lens of a wiser mind,
unveiling what was hid.

It's not the content that bugs me, it just the transition from the second line to the third line. I don't know, but the transition from the second to the third line just felt a little rough to me(unless the first and second line aren't meant to relate to the third and fourth line. If that 's the case, disregard this segment my review, and I apologize.). Other than that, I really did enjoy the poem. Keep up the magic!

93/100. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Stephen

6 Years Ago

I appreciate your appraisal! Thanks for the feedback. That stanza is a little forced. I have had som.. read more
DoormanDan

6 Years Ago

You are most welcome :)



Reviews

This is an absolutely brilliant poem. Perfect form, the theme is gorgeous; as children we are protected from the evils of the world, footloose and fancy free; then as we age, things are slowly revealed. Sometimes it can be disheartening, there is so much strife in the world. The Guardians, love the title and the imagery is beautiful. Thank you so very much. I love it....

Posted 6 Years Ago


i really like all of this word tapestry, but the first 4 lines and the last 4 really touched my heartsoul...well done...

Posted 6 Years Ago


This poem has quite a unique concept behind it(at least as far as writing on this website goes). The syntax that you opened it with in the first two lines flows fluently, and doesn't come across as clumsy or contrived in anyway. It serves as a fantastic way to start the poem. The poem is very well written for the most part, but there was one part(keep in mind that this is only my opinion, which is more than likely wrong), that just felt a bit off to me.

the unforeseen evils,
from the shadows I bid.
lens of a wiser mind,
unveiling what was hid.

It's not the content that bugs me, it just the transition from the second line to the third line. I don't know, but the transition from the second to the third line just felt a little rough to me(unless the first and second line aren't meant to relate to the third and fourth line. If that 's the case, disregard this segment my review, and I apologize.). Other than that, I really did enjoy the poem. Keep up the magic!

93/100. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Stephen

6 Years Ago

I appreciate your appraisal! Thanks for the feedback. That stanza is a little forced. I have had som.. read more
DoormanDan

6 Years Ago

You are most welcome :)
The poem truly flows, and it creates a sense of awe tin me that I can't really explain. In short terms, I love it! Keep on writing!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Stephen

6 Years Ago

thanks for the appraisal. Im glad that you loved it and I hope that you will read more. Thanks for r.. read more
The way I see this poem, its funny how everything becomes so clear when you're dying. Truths that have been hidden your entire life suddenly unravels before your eyes.

At first I thought that the man simply took on the title of guardian, but reading it again, it seems to me that the man took on a curse that would have fallen to the next generation if he hadn't taken it upon himself.
He saved them, set them free.

I can't help but think that its his own fault though.

Great poem.

Posted 6 Years Ago



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Added on June 12, 2015
Last Updated on June 12, 2015
Tags: freedom, free, children, guardian, dreams, see, evil, veil, unveil, mantle, shade, shadows, the, prevailed

Author

Stephen
Stephen

Pensacola , FL



About
I am very interested in writing. Love to read others writings and really find the meaning within that writing. I love to write to be able to hopefully add meaning to others lives or help them in a tim.. more..

Writing

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