Push

And, yet another old poem..need to start writing a new ones.. Freestyle poetry Image is my own water color.

      Push....

  Push yesterday away,

  slate  for another day...

  Start with the warm

  air penetrating,

  soft fleeting petals of life;

  as they float by.

  Mark the wet sand 

  with your steps.

  Poem your name to be left

  for someone dear to hear.

  Glory... to the unfinished rhyme;

  let it wait among the others,

   for its turn.

  See the end at twilight;

  rejoice to be alive and write. 

~~~~~

Author's Note

Thank you for reading my poem. I would really appreciate your review. I always review everything I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[carl]

Glory... to the unfinished rhyme;
let it wait among the others,
for its turn.

I think this is one of the most beautiful refrains I have ever read. With your permission I would like to try using it as inspiration for a work I would title "The Unfinished Rhyme". I'm wondering at the moment if it could be developed to include unfinshed rhymes. Not sure at the moment where that might take me but would like to work with it. I will wait your response before continuing.

[Lisasview]

Now dear Carl... this is so strange because I just reviewed one of your poems... I came back here because I saw that I had a review...
This poem was written by me when I was in my early 20's... and, I had completely forgotten about it until last year when I decided to post my work for the very first time...and, that was 55 years ago!!!! Wow, now that I read it I wonder where on earth did that come from.
Yes, of course go ahead and write about the unfinished rhyme... I only ask that you share what you write with me through messages..I just am excited to see where this leads you. Thank you you for asking me if was okay to use my words... I posted several old poems and one that I wrote in 1968 today... I was 20...It is called Wilted Soul... would love to hear what you think of that one.
Lisa

[Lisasview]

P.S. The art work is one of my water colors..

[carl]

I used a photo of my pottery on a poem loosely based on the ravens of Odin I don't usually do that because I think it leads the reader too much toward what I am trying to say in the poem but maybe that is because I usually don't clearly understand what I am trying to say. lol - I think your watercolor is lovely. -carl

[Lisasview]

I always use an image... this helps the reader understand better what I am trying to say...or at least I hope so...
Thank you,
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

This really beginning a new life...breathe deep; mark your boundaries, pen your poem so that someone will read it, and it will remain after your demise; even if it's not complete, "it wall wait for its time"...love this line. Very well written; soft and flowing.
Best, Betty

[Lisasview]

Thank you Betty for reading my poem.
Glad you feel that it is well written,, means a lot to me.
Lisa

[Patricia Wedel]

A Poem is Born... and Titled... Long live the Author and her Poem. Amen

[Lisasview]

Thank you for your review Patricia..

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Glory to the unfinished rhyme
let it wait among the others
for its turn. - Oh this stanza captured me. I am sure many poets/poetess' felt this way about verses of theirs, I know I have, over and over again.

The last stanza was absolutely beatiful. tyfs

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much.. I am at my computer now.
I just submitted PEARLS a sonnet I have been crazy working on.. Perhaps if you have a minute or two you can look at it.
Capturing a viewer is so marvellous!! Makes me want to write, write, write....

[Lisasview]

P.S. The painting is my own work..

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I'm up working on my craft, writing and editing at two AM, rejoicing to be alive so I'm taking this advice to heart. (smile) I enjoyed this.

[Lisasview]

2am.. Goodness lets see..where are you.. I am in Spain.. (from California) it is 8am here.
So glad my poem affected you..Have you read my poem Thoughts..you might find it interesting..
Thank you for all your thoughtful reviews Fabian.. and get some sleep!!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I'm in the oldest mountain range in the world, the Appalachians in North Carolina. No school to teach tomorrow so I'm pulling a late nighter. I'll probably lay down as the sun rises. Bless.

[Lisasview]

Well, that is so interesting.. I am loving this whole new adventure.. Submitting my work for the first time ever and hearing back from reviewers all over the world.
Lisa

[Gee]

Love the last line although this seldom the case when 5 days are consumed by the humdrum madness of life in construction where common sense and decency seem to be severely lacking.
You say you are going back to review, edit, if I were you I'd leave well alone :)
A lovely write Lisa, and your artwork is very good, clever you :))

[Lisasview]

Such a lovely review, Gee..
Yes, common sense is severely lacking.. So sad...
I am delighted you like the way this is written. I am struggling with whether to edit it? I have a few more I recently submitted that I am thinking of editing..??
By the way..I am a professional watercolorist and the paining is one of mine..Lisa

[Gee]

Must be lovely to make a living from something you enjoy doing

[Lisasview]

My life has been one continuous adventure.
I have done so many things..but have always painted.
I owned a clothing store in Santa Monica, Ca. for over 25 years..and at the same time I did TV commercials.. I have always been a singer and planned that to be my career..but then went onto other things..After I closed my clothing store I spent over 10 years doing Interior Design..again my own business...and,I began piano for the very first time at the age of 50..All of this while raising a daughter along with my husband.. I only recently got back to writing poetry..although I still have the poems I wrote as a child and young adult..
I believe that if one if creative then one can pursue all sorts of wonderful things.. which life has to offer.

[Gee]

You have lived a very full and satisying(it would seem) life.
I dabble in writing but nowt else, I think the big fella upstairs decided against wasting the creative gene on me :))

[Vertigo Cat1111]

What was left of this poem and you completed made it only way, way more powerful. This is a strong message if any and the watercolor flowers are absolutely beautiful and fit perfectly with the thankfulness of this poem. ‘See the end of twilight and rejoice to be alive and write’ this is breathtaking and makes the poem even better than it already was. Thank you for sharing!

[Lisasview]

Thank you so very much for rereading my completed poem!!
It was so kind of you.
Lisa

[Chris Shaw]

Living for the day. Celebrating each. moment. That is quite an achievement. An uplifting poem Lisa. Rejoicing in each day and the opportunitues that comes your way. A lovely poem. Love the posted artwork too. Is that one of yours?

Chris

[Lisasview]

Good morning Chris,
Thankyou for your positive review. This is a poem I wrote without editing. My plan is to work on it some more.
Yes, that is one of my watercolour paintings. So glad you love it.
Lisa

[Chris Shaw]

You are a lady of many talents. Your watercolour is beautiful. Have a lovely day Lisa :)

[M. J. Smith]

"Rejoice to be alive and write..."
Can there be greater words for a poet? I view poetry as my calling. So this line jumps out. Such beautiful words, Lisa. It is a joy to read such work.

[Lisasview]

What a very nice thing to say.. Really enjoyed writing it..Thank you so very much..
Lisa

[Coyote Poetry]

Soft, honest and strong words shared dear Lisa.
"See the end at twilight
and rejoice to be alive and write."
I agree and you and me. 63 years old. We know life must be lived. We must seek the sea, kind people and look for something beautiful in every new day. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much for your kind review.. Actually in a week or so I will be 74..yikes!!
As we get older we appreciate our lives more and more.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree dear Lisa. You are still young, and you are welcome. I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Lisasview]

I wrote Screams when I was about 20 years old.. Not a good time for me..

[Coyote Poetry]

I have my old journals everywhere. I like to read them. Remind me. We have lived. I hope you keep create. Maybe a novel? The past can teach the future.

[Lisasview]

Wish I had the time to do more..
I am a professional water colorist and I teach on line..I also took up piano at the age of 50 (first time ever) so I practice an hour a day and have lessons once week. Plus, having recently moved to Spain so we are in the middle of renovating a very old Finca..
Oh yes, and our veggie garden.. and flowers.. on and on but love all of it..My life is so full But I do have several unfinished short stories..I really do want to work on..Lisa

[Coyote Poetry]

You should dear Lisa. One of my favorite books, Jack London short story book. "When god laugh". A example of the strength of short story. This year, I will self-publish a short story book, I hope.

[Lisasview]

Sounds like you are onto a fantastic adventure.. A short story!!

[Vertigo Cat1111]

I love the way this was written! It’s a beautiful reminder you’ve put out, always try to look forward, a message that, honestly, can be hard to believe in when the past is often painful and full of ‘why’s but your words are so inspiring and would encourage anyone. This poem really exudes that feeling of relief and joy when you finally move ahead. ‘Mark the wet sand with your steps, poem your name to be left, for someone dear to hear’.

This is an amazingly poetic like, me and I’m sure tons of others wish they had written! This is a magical piece. Thank you so much for sharing!

[Lisasview]

Oh my gosh,
I did not mean to submit it.. This is something I was working on last night..
read moreOh my gosh,
I did not mean to submit it.. This is something I was working on last night..
I am going to take a photo of your caring comment as I do not want to lose it..but I am now going to remove my poem for a while..

[Lisasview]

I finished and resubmitted my poem... might need some more work..

[Lisasview]

P.S. I painted the watercolour flowers..