Canvas of Dreams

Posted my poem a month ago, then decided that it needed work. Only just now reposted it. The trouble I was having was with the tenses, but with the kind help of Richard I was able to figure it out.

~ Canvas of Dreams ~

Staring at the ceiling ...

moments since he left,

faded light appearing

slowly, through satin curtains.

Muted colours changed,

grey to white …

the ceiling, my canvas

of dreams, is still there.

His smell, lingering in the air;

I stroke his pillow,

unaware he has returned

for another taste of the moment,

and to kiss me goodbye.

-·~*~·-

Reviews

[willweb]

I really like this, it just feels wonderful to read and imagine. She lingers in thoughts of him not realizing he is still there as he surprises her to show her how much he truly loves her. That was wonderful. It does feel as if it is part of mine, the perfect ending it seems. What I enjoy the most besides your use of words to create images is that those images are left up to the reader to design.
Ok, so I have one other, if you'd like to read it. It is a sonnet titled Summer's Sultry Heat.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much!!
Lisa

[John the Baptist]

I think the speaker here is definitely in love, still dreamily thinking on the lover, who has just departed. The change of colors from grey to white is an image meant to illustrate the lifting of the speaker's mood by the encounter. Then he suddenly appears again, just for a goodbye kiss. I think someone will have an even brighter mood after this finishing touch.

[Lisasview]

Good morning John,
Your interpretation of my poem is spot on. I so appreciate that you took the time to read and review...
Lisa, 7am in Spain

[Robert Haigh]

The ceiling acting as a canvas of dreams... what a delightful idea! This is a dreamy, romantic write, and a very good one!

[Lisasview]

Good morning Robert,
So happy to know you liked my poem.
Lisa, having a Cappuccino at 7am in Spain

[Richard Knox]

I read this lovely poem several days ago and wrote a review…I thought. Apparently I got distracted and didn’t post it. This eloquently describes one of those simple, seemingly common moments that we experience in a relationship that is actually quite remarkable and should be savored. Wonderful!

[Lisasview]

No worries dear Richard... I sometimes read a poem and think I have responded with a review.. Then I find much to my dismay that I have not.
I am delighted that you enjoyed my little poem..
I was in bed one morning staring at the ceiling ... remembering my dreams.. and, out came my poem..
Lisa, evening in Spain

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! so subtle, melancholy sadness to be .. well done .. she dreams when he is gone ... closing is brilliant says i ... perhaps a married man ... perhaps a user and she helpless in her love ... wonderful work says i! especially like the ceiling as canvas .. who has not laid in bed staring at it and "seeing" things .. the pic is astonishing .. she looks as if her chest has been flattened .. her heart crushed .. perfect with your poem ..
E.

[Lisasview]

Hi Einstein,
I can not begin to express how very much I appreciate your wonderful review... I can tell that you really read my words and really!!! looked at the image...yes, her heart is crushed..but not for long as her lover does come back for a kiss and to say goodbye... There are so many possibilities with this little scenario..right??
Lisa, now waiting for grilled salmon for dinner..

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ... your poem leaves a lot to the reader .. well done ... salmon eh! .. and grilled no less!! yummy .. love salmon .. so easy to cook and very nutritious!

[Lisasview]

We do quite a bit of grilling outdoors on our barbe…unless ofcourse we go out..
And we do go out a lot🍷🍷
Lisa

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I really like the last stanza. The whole poem is really well written but the last stanza captured that cinema feeling in your words that I very much enjoyed. tyfs

[Lisasview]

Hi Cyprian,
So appreciate your wonderfully kind review... I have a tendency to write in a story like manner... not really good for poems...I grew up with a father that was a film director, producer and writer and probably picked up on all that "cinema" stuff..
Lisa, waiting for a grilled salmon dinner...

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Whoa, your father seems like he had a interesting job

[Lisasview]

He always knew that was what he wanted to do... Never thought of it as a job... More like an on going adventure..
Quite a guy...
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

A sensual ,romantic piece ,one in which one may call it a dream, or one may think he really returns; it's the soft words and muted colors that set the scene. And while the dream is set forth, the canvas is painted in desirous caresses. Up to the reader to decide; either way, it's lovely and dreamy.
Best, B

[Lisasview]

This is so so crazy,
I know I thanked you for this wonderful review but as I am double checking to make sure all that reviewed my work got a thank you from me, I see that for some reason the thank you i left for you is not there!
So thank you dear Betty...
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re very welcome dear Lisa! Best, B

[Louisa Chan]

Hm...Lisa, this sounds like a sequel to "Wanting".
It's that brief moment between his departure and return (or return in your dream) that you wanted to capture here?
A brief moment, yet very sensual and dreamy....
Louisa

[Lisasview]

Hi Louisa,
I actually have the exact same feeling you got regarding a sequel…
Actually, when I look back at my sensual poems and from the first ti the last there definitely is a thread… so pleased you picked that up!
Thank you so much for your positive review..
Lisa, finished working out now on the way to lunch.

[Susan 🦋]

Hi Lisa, well you certainly can feel the mood with this little write! WELL DONE! Especially enjoyed your descriptive language. The painting perfectly suited for this poem :-)

[Lisasview]

Good morning Susan,
I am so happy to know you enjoyed the mood if my poem.
Appreciate your kind review,
Lisa, on the way to lunch in Spain

[Earl Schumacker]

Hi Lisa, I'm guessing the art work is of your making. It is a beautiful creation. Your strongest line in the poem is, "For another taste of the moment." Very nice. Keep up the great work. Have a spectacular day. Earl

[Lisasview]

Hi Earl,
Thank you so very much or your kind reb=view...
I am delighted you liked my poem. No I did not paint the image ... I wish i had... Ahhh, well.
Lisa, just finished a lovely piece of grilled salmon in Spain

[Gee]

I would like to say I have left many a woman feeling this way but the honest truths is I had many a wham bam thank you mam drunken dalliance in my teens and early twenties...bad man:)
Another well written, sensual piece from your smouldering pen:)
Hope you are both well Lisa

[Lisasview]

Oh yes, I know those words quite well...wam, bam, thank you mam...
I was a young girl in the 70's and the whole thing was about free love... Crazy times
So glad you liked my poem,
Lisa, finally on the computer