Canvas of Dreams

Posted my poem a month ago, then decided that it needed work. Only just now reposted it. The trouble I was having was with the tenses, but with the kind help of Richard I was able to figure it out.

~ Canvas of Dreams ~

Staring at the ceiling ...

moments since he left,

faded light appearing

slowly, through satin curtains.

Muted colours changed,

grey to white …

the ceiling, my canvas

of dreams, is still there.

His smell, lingering in the air;

I stroke his pillow,

unaware he has returned

for another taste of the moment,

and to kiss me goodbye.

-·~*~·-

Reviews

[willweb]

I really like this, it just feels wonderful to read and imagine. She lingers in thoughts of him not realizing he is still there as he surprises her to show her how much he truly loves her. That was wonderful. It does feel as if it is part of mine, the perfect ending it seems. What I enjoy the most besides your use of words to create images is that those images are left up to the reader to design.
Ok, so I have one other, if you'd like to read it. It is a sonnet titled Summer's Sultry Heat.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much!!
Lisa

[Chris Shaw]

I think many will relate to lingering scent and caressing a pillow where there love has left an imprint. This is delightful Lisa. Both your artwork and your words draw the reader in. A lovely composition. Have a great weekend.

Chris

[Lisasview]

Hi Chris,
Thank you for reading and reviewing my little poem..
Not sure where this poem came from... but all of a sudden it was on paper.. I finally posted it..
Lisa, now on the computer...finally

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Absolutely, magically and sweetly, romantic with a hint of erotic without that coarseness the word erotic implies ... Truly enjoyable ...

[Lisasview]

Hi Marvin,
I feel so fortunate to have you reading and reviewing my poems..I wasn't sure how you would react to canvas of Dreams... so it is wonderful to hear your words.
I have others I do think you might like.. For example Pearls and Tender..
Lisa, finally on the computer

[Lisasview]

or Miles Apart..

[andrew mitchell]

A lovely write Lisa and equally a lovely painting.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much reading and reviewing my poem Andrew.
Lisa, going to practice piano...in Spain

[Coyote Poetry]

Gentle, kind and generous words for love dear Lisa.
"His smell, lingering in the air;
I stroke his pillow,
unaware he has returned
for another taste of the moment,"
I did love the above lines. A simple moment of life. We can keep forever in our heart. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

and to kiss me goodbye

[Lisasview]

Good morning Coyote,
Delighted to read your inspiring review...
Thank you so much...read moreGood morning Coyote,
Delighted to read your inspiring review...
Thank you so much...
I appreciate it..
Lisa, early morning in Spain

[Coyote Poetry]

Good morning dear Lisa and you are welcome.

[Aura]

I like the last stanza alot:

His smell, lingering in the air;

I stroke his pillow,
unaware he has returned
for another taste of the moment,
and to kiss me goodbye. — the scent brings back the person who left, as if they are with them in the said room. But they aren't with this person physically and this scent is probably the last memory of him.

The canvas of dreams is still there, the ceiling, because the ceilings are usually a solid color like white, it becomes easier to paint it with memories from time before. Thank you for sharing this!

[Lisasview]

Hi again Aura,
I see that you have read my Poem Canvas of Dreams..Yes the ceiling can paint memories..
Yes, the power of a scent... really is amazing how it can bring back a memory.
Lisa, sipping a Cappuccino in Spain

[Temperance]

As I read this it reminded me of my own similar experiences and that made this lovely and sad at the same time. His smell, lingering in the air, I stroke his pillow. Yes, I’ve done this and, have hugged the
Pillow. Lovely read! Temp

[Lisasview]

Thank you Temperance for reading and reviewing my little poem... Yes, I too remember hugging a lovers pillow..
I delighted you like the read... I was very pleased to find the art work as I feel it really lends itself to my poem.
Lisa, about to eat dinner... Gambas off the grill..

[Temperance]

The artwork is perfect! Enjoy your meal!

[Lisasview]

Thank you...asa professional water colonist I am very picky about the art work/images I use... so it is wonderful to get positive feedback.
Lisa

[lightsong]

See my dear I already reviewed the first version of this sentimental sad piece :>

"the ceiling, my canvas" when I read You, most times I will stop at a certain line or phrase, like this one here. It speaks volumes, it expresses You and your inner. This empty white ceiling, You fill it from your own brush, with sadness, with happiness... with everything. I hear this soft yearning part of You which You try to hide, calling in gentle tune of warm tears. Unheard but totally felt... .. yet another soulful piece from your tender pen.

[Lisasview]

Wow what and amazing review from you!!! So appreciated... First one for the second time!!!
You really understand the way I feel...
When you read this was the title in Black and off to the left side? I ask because when I went back to it that is what I saw... So I took my poem off for a few minutes and corrected it... So strange... Hopefully, it will stay the way I want it... with the beautiful soft pastel color and the title entered...
Thank you so much,
Lisa, about to eat dinner..and so happy to finally get this little poem posted....

[lightsong]

I see it beautiful and perfect as it is, centered with the tender soft pastel color :>

Enjoy your dinner dear You 💗

[Lisasview]

Oh good so weird... I am signing off soon...
Lisa, pretty hungry... Even though I ate way too much when I we gave our dinner party on Sunday I ended up losing nearly 2 pounds... I am rather slender already so this was a bit of a surprise..
Lisa

[lightsong]

Lisa! eat SO much and GAIN some weight!

[lightsong]

Dear Lisa,

This is hauntingly sad, You are the best when it comes to write tender sadness, my favorite verse is the second one, it speaks to my heart. Thank You for sharing this gentle piece.

[Richard🖌]

Such a lovely turquoise motif, Lisa🧚

Title and artwork seem to fit quite nicely with your theme; as well, the imagery and easy flow in your lines allow readers to enjoy each nuance of your moments freely.
Punctuation could use a bit of attention in spots: L1-L2 are not complete sentences; thus, an ellipsis should between them, rather than a semicolon. V2L1, due to the preceding ellipsis, "changing" should begin in lowercase. V2L4, a comma should follow "dreams," and "Is" should be before "still there." V3L1-L2, are two complete sentences; thus, a semicolon should separate them, rather than a comma, and V3L2 should be followed by a comma, rather than a period, because it leads into the penultimate and final lines.
I wanted a bit more warmth, such as:
"His smell lingers in the air;
I stroked his pillow,
unaware he has returned
for another bite of the moment,
and to kiss me goodbye.

Beautifully expressed sensuality with discreet details … your recognized poetic hallmark.
Thank you for the delightfully romantic touches! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much dear Richard for your help with punctuation and my tense problems. With your help my little poem took on a life of its own..
I appreciate you so much,
Lisa

[Richard🖌]

You're more than welcome, Lisa … it is a fun treat working with you.
Besides, what else is a teacher good for … LOL!