Awaken

My first try at writing a Ballad. Composed in Quatran: 4-verses, Meter: Iambic Tetrameter and Iambic Trimeter rhythms. Syllable count 8/6/8/6 Rhyme scheme: abab, cdcd, etc.

   

"A w a k e n !"

Surround our hearts with endless song,

across this world of lies.

Let's listen close to what went wrong;

despairing wartime cries.

Of peace, our dreams are not enough …

beneath all anger shed.

Why do we always make it tough?

Time now to move ahead.

In open hearts, it's known what’s right.

So, step out from the dark!

With every day the thousands fight,

and leave their deadly mark.

Awaken hopes today with love,

and give way to the truth.

Believe in heavens safe above …

too many lost in youth.

**✌🏼**

Author's Note

If you happen to read this then I would greatly appreciate a review. I always review what I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

Should I say Mona (respect for Leonardo da Vinci?) Lisa?! ... Perhaps it should be so, but shan't never of ever be told as that which is logically, intelligently, & common sense reasonably so, as in containing and astutely & aptly pertaining to realistic truth of facts revealed, rather than concealed: I, as me, a true to Life's Tree, love your writing, for all that it is, and for all that it can/, should/would/ could/will ever of, perhaps, never, be to those with essence's HEARTS possessing EYES & EARS that damn well DO SEE & HEAR! You are a true Poet, a Poet-ESS, beyond any language's portrayal of defining or description... There IS no more that I, as i, can say ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[Lisasview]

Wow, dearest Marvin... what a fabulous review...
Thank you so much... I try hard at being a good poetess...never seems like I have enough time.
Recently broke my clavicle... a real nightmare..
Lisa

[Raven A. Myn]

This is brilliant! Many poets seem to get lost in the meter and syllables and the poem itself loses its essence. But you have managed to avoid this common mistake. Kudos on creating such a wonderful piece.

[Lisasview]

Hi Raven,
Interesting that you say that about meter, etc. I for one really love structure most of the time..I feel that it comes naturally to me... However, this piece was written in the structure of a Ballad poem and so it seems to flow better.
I wrote this out all at once with very few corrections (in commas, etc.) I found the perfect image to set off my poem and I think this is probably one of my most favourites...
I am delighted to know that you like it. I believe I looked at you this morning, but I believe you only write stories... and I am so limited on time so I did not read any ...I think that was you??
Lisa

[andrew mitchell]

Such a fluent tranquil flow of words of hope and peace. Having warmth on reading. Nicely done Lisa

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much Andrew.. Aways appreciate your kind reviews,
Lisa, raining here in Spain

[andrew mitchell]

Raining here in South Australia

[Lisasview]

Interesting.... Lisa

[Mike]

A beautifully written and perfectly balanced plea for sanity. Well done, Lisa.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so very much Mike for reading my poem and reviewing it.
Lisa, still in Spain

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

I seek to add this grand piece to my Library of FAVORITES, but, sadly, the site will not allow me to do so ... if I read a piece of anybody's nobody's writing, and I I find that I respect and love it, then, then, not now of ("What the f**k!") ever when, I do, upon that moment of daring to comment in full honesty of my own personality, do seek to add such said pieces to my personal Library as FAVORITES upon & on this WritersCafe.org website ... Always have, always will, always shall, until my life runs still, breathless & essence-less ...

[Lisasview]

Sometimes the site can be tricky... I did recently find that i can share the poem I like to my email and from there copy and paste to wherever I like..
I do remember last year that you were saving my work to your library... really so flattering..
Lisa

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“Surround our hearts with endless song,
across this world of lies.
Let's listen close to what went wrong;
despairing wartime cries.”
Thank you for telling me about this rousing song/anthem dear Lisa. The flow, meter, rhyme, imagery, all combine perfectly to deliver your most important message of peace. Kudos and thanks for this powerful write.✌️👏🕊️

[Lisasview]

And, thank you so much Annette for always taking the time to read and review... greatly appreciated.
Lisa

[YanZeros]

There is the Dark and the Light in this world. What we truly desire is our own Survival. Others prefer to be thieves standing at the top of dead bodies.

[Lisasview]

You are so so right!! Thank you for your review!!
Lisa

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Lisa… our grandchildren try to live a fruitful existence planning for the future. The young people are the Hope of the World. I see babies and children everywhere I go.. their Mothers and Fathers are busy working and keeping Spirits healthy and Wise. The News is beginning to show signs of Repair. We can only pray and vote to return to a more Civilized way of Governing. tenderly, Pat

[Lisasview]

Yes, dear Pat... we can only hope for the best in the future.
Hugs, Lisa

[Louisa Chan]

This is such a beautifully crafted poem Lisa.
Your message is a profound one.
I really like the syntax in your poem - though appearing to be quite short and simple, there's so much variety in the sentence/phrasal structure, and the meter and rhymes work well too. I particularly like your last line "too many lost in youth", indeed.
I enjoyed the read. Thank you!

[Lisasview]

Hi Louisa, so nice to hear from you.. and thank you so very much for your review.
This poem just poured out of me... as if someone...something inside of me was writing it...such a strange feeling..So happy to know you enjoyed the read. My first try at the structure of a poetic ballad.
Lisa

[Louisa Chan]

Nice attempt : )
when it poured out of you, it's the best....

[Stuart Munro]

Fighting in wars only wins you blood , we try and step out from the dark everyday , when light avoids us
Myself today I’m fighting cancer in three parts of my body , having chemo , to exist a bit longer
Maybe I will find out about the Seance Air , eventually , how it works lol, , and I can ghost you the answer 😂 , I really like your poem Chris , you can’t attack love or lose it ever , whatever happens to you
Hate dies it goes nowhere , Love lives for eternity

[Lisasview]

oh gosh..sad news..hope you are living a super healthy lifestyle..clean food, etc...we all want you to stay here...
by the way this is my poem not Chris
Lisa, now in Spain

[Stuart Munro]

Sorry Lisa , I’m fine with Death , I feel ok so far ,just a bit tired after chemo , I won’t miss the humans World
Never liked being with humans here apart from hearing the birds singing and the beautiful nature views and walks in isolation, cyber poetry friends suit me fine , no bad habits to share and irritate each other with , or get in a dispute 😂 I love your poetry , I think your talented at it , and I like what you write about , I will still be contact and writing my ditties , great to be friends

[Lisasview]

Love all that you wrote to me... Hope you are feeling better..
And, I am delighted we are still in touch...
Lisa, still dealing with my broken clavicle

[Stuart Munro]

Lisa ,Thanks , i had a couple of rough days but the last four days I’ve been buzzing , sorry to read of your broken clavicle , Healing soon I hope , have a great Wednesday

[Lisasview]

Thank you!!