Brace Myself

When abuse has become the norm it is not easy to change. For Bella, the time for change has been thrust upon her. It is stand and fight or die. Whatever happens she will have to Brace herself.

            Dreaming of change, that is what I had been doing for quite some time. Constantly, pain coursed through every part of my body. Whimpering throughout the night had become second nature. Worst of all, I was beginning to get use to the pain- both physical and mental. My mindset had been altered and fear that it would not return to its original state lived deep within.

 

            Today I sat in my bedroom, door locked and head held towards heaven. Prayer had become a major part of survival and while it barely helped it gave me hope. A knock echoed throughout the room. Emotions flickered into existence as my heart skipped a beat. Over time a routine had been created. Every day, after breakfast, I would retreat to the confines of this room as my husband made his way to work. Once every hour the phone would ring. I had learned the hard way that not answering these “check up” phone calls was hazardous to my health. As soon as my husband- lord how I loathed that title- crossed the thresh-old he expected dinner to be waiting for him, with me waiting to remove his shoes. While he was eating I was to run his bath water, light several candles, and leave a bottle of red wine by the tub.

            Tonight I had decided to disobey the wishes of the man I had married. It was time that my pains cease. His shouts reached me through the door and a shiver rushed down my spine. For a moment instinct took over and I had to resist the urge to open the door for the man that wanted to punish me. Fist made contact with the door, causing the frame to shudder. Wincing, I stood and made my way to the opposite side of the room. I knew that it wouldn't be long before the door fell.

            His fury was becoming worst with every minute that passed. Fear rose in the pit of my stomach as the hinges on the door began to creak under the pressure of my husband's rage. The wood snapped as the door was ripped from the frame with a thud. I leaped back as my husband rushed into the room. He stood only a few body lengths away from me. A chest made of pure muscle rose and fell as he breathed. Being six-foot-four allowed him to tower over me. Muscled arms flexed as hands clenched and unclenched. He finally spoke and when he did, the anger that he had allowed to harbor in his heart and mind revealed itself.

            “Bella I try to be patient with you, but you always make me act up.” He stepped forward and I stepped back.

            “I did nothing wrong Robert. Now please leave me alone.” My voice cracked out of fear.

            “Do you really think that you have done nothing wrong? You actually believe that you have done nothing wrong! You are an idiot!”

            “I am not an idiot! So screw you!” The words spilled out of me before I could think the situation through.

            “How dare you talk to me in such a manner?” He took a deep breath before continuing. “Just come here so that I can punish you and then you can run my bath and fix dinner.” he stepped forward and once again I mimicked his motions by moving back.

            “Punish me. Punish me! You have abused me for the last time!” Reaching behind me, I dug in the dresser draw and pulled out the gun I knew he kept there. He rushed towards me and before I could move, his hands were around my neck.

            “You little witch! I am your husband! I own you!” He threw me onto the floor where I fell with a thud. Struggling to catch my breath, I sat up. I held the gun up and Robert froze. Hands in the air, he began to speak calmly.

            “Baby what are you doing? Please baby put the gun down before you do something you'll regret.”

            “Marrying you is the only thing that I regret. You are worthless and a complete waste of time. But no longer will I be subjected to this.”

            “Don't do this Bella. Please baby girl, don't do this.”

            “I'm done.” I got off the floor while never taking my eyes off of him. As I backed out of the door I noticed affection in his eyes. Faltering in my steps did not escape his attention. He lurched forward reaching for the gun and out of fear I pulled the trigger. I stood frozen in my place as Robert stumbled back and then fell to the ground. It took a minute for the realization that my pain was over to sink in. I sunk to my knees and began to pray through throaty sobs. It was over...really and truly over.

 

            The sun had set by the time I had gained the strength to get off the floor, pack my things, and leave the place I had called home for four years and the haunting memories that resided there.

Reviews

[Cafe Reader]

Very strong writing!

[Drako]

I loved this too. an accurate portrayal of an abused woman finally standing up for herself. kinda leaves me wondering what happens to her after.