Death Reborn

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How long had I been running? Everything around me was black as a rabbit’s hole which I must have fallen into. I didn’t know where I was headed but the consistent pounding in my chest suggested I’d been headed nowhere for quite a while. A slight fog glided in, surrounding me on both sides. I wondered what kind of monster caused me to sprint into - where was I?

 

“It is time” a disembodied voice floated in with the fog and bounced off what sounded like cave walls.

 

“Time for what?” I called out half-heartedly, for deep down somehow I knew what was to come.

 

A frantic beeping sound echoed suddenly causing my eyes to snap open. Wide awake and alert I swiveled my head around trying to remember where I was, the nightmare had disoriented me. I was surrounded by white walls and a heavy smell of disinfectant. A door to my left slowly closed as a man in a black raincoat stepped out of the hospital room. I looked back to the far right wall where she laid in a clean, white bed bathed in the alarming sound of her failing heart.

 

“Nurse! Nurse! Help!” I pushed my sleep-deprived body from out of the stiff hospital chair and rushed to her side. “Somebody, she’s dying!” I screamed, teeth bared, adrenaline coursing through my veins.

Suddenly there was a rush of people into the room yelling orders.

 

“Sir, I’ll need you to step outside,” a lady in blue scrubs gently pushed me toward the door.

“No, get away from me!” I pushed her to the side and headed back toward the blur of people rushing around the crisp, white sheets.

“Amelia! Is she going to be alright? Amelia I’m here sweetie it’ll be okay,” I could feel a chill creep up into my lungs making it hard for me to breathe.

 

“Sir, please,” the nurse-in-blue pulled at my arm while another nurse urgently pushed me away skipping over any gentle pretenses.

 

“If you want us to do our job as best we can you’re going to have to wait in the outside,” he said, shoving me into the hallway. The beeping seemed to get louder. Someone called the security-nurse back into the blaring room.

 

“She’ll be alright, dear,” the blue nurse whispered as she closed the door and rushed back into the action.

 

“I can’t lose her too,” I cried quietly to the clean, white door, “she’s all I have left.” I shuffled across the hallway to the wall and faced the door. The pain she must be in. I wish I could take it from her " absorb it like a sponge. I want to hurt like she hurts. I want to suffer for her.

 

“I swear they get a kick out of that stuff,” a familiar voice uttered wryly.

 

I looked around. A man stood, back against the wall, a couple feet away from the room where the last of my family struggled for life. His dripping, black raincoat formed a puddle around his dark, spit-shined shoes. He looked up from reading a cheap, silver watch on his thin wrists and smiled at me. Deep lines formed parenthesis around his dull smile. His eyes, which glinted in the bright fluorescent lights, were highlighted not by the hazel tint but by the crow-feet-wrinkling that quoted them. At the same time he had a youthfulness about him " the way he sauntered over to me as if walking on a cloud. But like a cloud he carried an enormous but imperceptible weight. I was so mesmerized by the lanky old man that I’d forgotten what he had said.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“These doctors and nurses. They live for this stuff.”

 

“What stuff?” I mumbled, not really caring what this guy had to say.

 

“The excitement. The adrenaline rush. There is a certain feeling you get when you hold someone’s life in the palm of your hand for that one second,” he held out his palm and moved it up and down as if weighing out a heart. He immediately made a fist and returned his malnourished arm to his side and stared at me.

 

I didn’t know who let the crazy one out into the hall but I didn’t have time for his crooked words. I stood up from where I had slid onto the ground. I made a move toward the door. His wrinkly hand, once holding an invisible heart, shot out in front of me " palm forward.

 

“I thought that big, mean nurse told you to stay in the hallway,” he gave me a stern look like a father to a stubborn young son.

 

“Get out of my way old man,” I’d had enough of this mystery man. I needed to see her. I curled my hands into fists and squared my shoulders.

 

Perhaps he sensed my blood begin to boil, or perhaps he saw the anxiety and exhaustion in the eyes of a man who had spent weeks in a hospital in a rigid chair. Perhaps it had nothing to do with the tired man that stood before him but with what was to come. Whatever the reason the old man in the dripping raincoat extended his outstretched arm and rested his hand on my shoulder then patted it twice.

 

“I’m sorry,” he twisted his arm to show me his rusting watch and tapped it hard twice, “but it’s time,” he gave a weak smile, one drenched in pity, and lowered the watch stuck in time. I stared at the broken watch that hung loosely on his wrists. I could feel his eyes studying my face, “it is time for you to let her go,” his breath hot on my face, smelled oddly of hydrogen peroxide.

 

I grabbed him by the collar of his glistening raincoat and shoved him against the wall,

 

“It’s time for you to shut up old man. Don’t you ever tell me to let her go " she’s not going anywhere,” I could feel his bones creak under my weight as I pinned him to the bright walls.

“You don’t know me and you don’t know her so go back to wherever the hell you came from,” I shoved him to the side. He stumbled back a bit before recovering from the shove. He straightened himself then looked at me sadly, not a single trace of anger could be found in his aged face.

 

“We will meet again, David,” he whispered. He gave me one last knowing look before drifting away like a rain cloud after a storm " free of its watery burden.

 

My preoccupation with what lay behind the closed door kept me from hearing the old man’s final words. I waited outside the door in an attempt to calm down.

When I finally regained my cool I opened the door to see the nurse in blue rush toward the white bed just as she had done ten minutes ago when she had shut me out. Déjà vu I suppose.

 

“Hey! I thought I told you to wait out there. You couldn’t stay out there two seconds! Grace will you take care of this guy,” the security nurse dove back into the action.

 

“I’ve been out there at least ten minutes! What is taking you people so long?” I gestured to the security nurse and the doctor frantically moving around my little girl.

 

She tilted her head and blinked, “Sir we just put you outside the room a few seconds ago,” her face softened and a worried but kind smile spread across her face. “I know you’ve had a rough couple of weeks. How many hours of sleep have you gotten in the past 24 hours? How about you just sit right here in this chair, sir,” the blue nurse, Grace, guided me over to the chair. I fell into it and let my head fall into my hands.

 

It was that crazy old man. He wormed his way into my head. It’s probably some kind of game he plays - he wanders around the hospital and finds some sad sack sitting locked outside a door crumbling to pieces and tells him whoever they’re crying for is about to die. It had been a long time since anyone had got to me like that - got me angry and violent. I hadn’t pounced on someone like that since my angst-filled teenage years . Ever since Amelia came into the world I lost that need to protect myself - protect my ego. Even before my baby girl first smiled I had lost the anger that had festered since I was a young hooligan dreaming of being in a proper family again. Sarah brought the best out of me and caged the fiery beast. Now I used body language to emit my dominance. I liked having my enemies believe if they were ever to enter into some kind of physical tussle with me I’d beat them every time. It was all in the gaze and stance; the old man had mastered it and he had beaten me.

 

What did it matter? I probably wouldn’t ever see that nut job again. I needed to pull myself together. I let my hands drop into my lap and straightened my back. The beeping had stopped. I looked over at the hospital bed. The two nurses and the doctor were conversing in hushed tones. I stood up to remind them of my presence. The doctor signaled for the security nurse and Grace to leave the room. The big nurse glanced at me and grunted as he walked by and I grunted back. Grace gave me a smile as she left but her eyes didn’t follow suit. I watched as the door slowly closed behind her, not quite ready to face what the doctor had to say.

 

I turned and walked over to where she lay. Her eyes were closed and her small chest moved up slowly with each inhalation. I brushed the dark brown hair out of her face like Sarah used to do before she kissed her goodnight. Her thin arms clutched a worn teddy bear I won for her at a local fair - it's hair was thinning.

 

“We were able to stabilize her,” the doctor started. I stared down at the fragile life on the bed.

“She’s in a lot of pain, David, and I think you know that. Now you’re the only one who can make this decision but I think it’s time-,” the doctor hesitated a moment deciding whether to state something I knew was coming,” I think it’s time you said goodbye.”

 

How many times had I heard that today? It was as if the whole cosmos had decided the fate of the closest person in my life without consulting me first.

 

“David?”

 

“Yeah I heard you doc,” I finally looked up into his squinting eyes and furrowed brow. “I just need a moment, alone,” I looked back down letting my shoulders drop. I was tired of seeing pity in everyone’s eyes.

“Of course. I’ll have the papers ready in the hall but take your time,” he stood a moment longer by the bed then walked swiftly out of the room.

Author's Note

I'm not done with this at all. I just want some first glance opinions. I feel like David is a bit flat - should I flesh him out more here or is he unfolding at a good pace? What parts of this did you like/dislike? Anything sound awkward? I'd really appreciate some feedback on this one.

Reviews

[Rose F.]

Amazing song, Awesome story. I have read things like this before but I have never had the hearts in jars point of view. Very interesting.

It needs to be polished up a bit. For example the beginning is a little awkward. You have some quotation marks that are just hanging out by themselves.

Also I think David would have let on to the fact that this guy was Death long before he did... and would have found himself slowly going insane from the paranoia& knowledge. Wouldn't you? But it is your story and you did very well :) Thanks for sharing.

[mark slade]

cool story

[TJ]

"... he wonders around the hospital and finds some..." should be wAnders not wOnders.

Looks like u got by the WC glitch that turns your dashes into quotation marks, may wanna go through and fix those, it gets us all lol, stupid website.

I love this story! The development was great and it was so...intriguing I guess is the word. I can sense the tragedy of a man having to pull the plug on his daughter and that so tugged at my heartstrings. Invoking emotion in our readers is exactly wait we writers want to do and you did that here.
The old man adds another element to the story that just makes you want to read on and see who he is (although it's kind of obvious) and where he fits in.
Good work with this for sure!