The Abyss of Uncertainty

 

 

When one dwells with his fears, he sees no one

He only sees himself in a corner

Where light has forgotten to shine

Until he rises up in the abyss of uncertainty

 

When someone forgets how to love, he is alone

For only his ‘Self’ would be gratified, and that’s isn’t love

He dances inside the asylum, where drums cease to cadence

Only the rhythm of his dawdling heartbeat

He hears, to forget his ‘Self’ of loving too much

 

I am the abyss of my uncertainty

He that dwelleth in me

He that forgets everything

He that knows what love is

He that knows why love exists

He that knows why he exists

He that lives in the abyss of uncertainty

 

When someone dies, he is not alone

For his soul is kept inside the darkness

With everyone who had dwelleth

 

Forever they will be...

Forever they will be consumed

By the hunger of the dead

Suffering the life of death

In the abyss of uncertainty

 

 

But I need to rise upon who I am

Because I’m still alive,

Still alive.....

Reviews

[Maxinne Marie]

Still alive,
Still alive.

Perfectionismo. weee! heehee.. Perfect ending.

Beautifully abstract conveying of ideas, considering how you start the lines with evocative thoughts as
"When one dwells with his fears, he sees no one"
"When someone forgets how to love, he is alone "
"When someone dies, he is not alone"

What I love most is the idea you have thought of in this: "When someone forgets how to love, he is alone." It's awesome. And it's true. When one does not feel love, when one does not know love, he is all by himself, even if he's living in an overpopulated world, mingling with a noisy crowd, laughing with other people, is with someone, but then he does not love, he is alone. There's a remote connection and that kills us slowly within. Choosing to be isolated is choosing to fly even if you do not have wings. And you find yourself falling without any certainty if there is anything at all to catch you. ;)

You fall many times. But then, like you said, you need to rise again. You need to rise upon who you are because you are still alive.

Which led me to thinking...

Always uncertain of what may come, we go out there and soar and sometimes, we fall.
We fall so we can rise again.
We rise so we can love again.
We love so we can live again.

[Dalebear]

Good write

[Dante Balsote]

Nicely said. From start to end each line reinforces each preceding line, giving the poem a certain degree of certainty.

Though, I don't know why 'Self" has to be written that way (capitalized "and" quoted). Also, the line "where drums cease to cadence" seems awkward. Shouldn't it read in the sense, "where drums cease their cadence"?

Says one reviewer here, "Beautifully abstract conveying of ideas, considering how you start the lines with evocative thoughts as:

'When one dwells with his fears, he sees no one'
'When someone forgets how to love, he is alone'
'When someone dies, he is not alone'."

I agree.

Also, it is rare that one line in a poem is as strong as the others "independent of each other" and stronger still when you lay them side by side:

"I am the abyss of my uncertainty
He that dwelleth in me
He that forgets everything
He that knows what love is
He that knows why love exists
He that knows why he exists
He that lives in the abyss of uncertainty"

You're quite a talent. Although I'm wondering why you used "dwells" in the first line but used the older "dwelleth" in its next mention. Hmm...

And the ending...the ellipsis...I don't know if it's deliberately five dots. Aside from that I say the ending is perfect. The caption says it all: "I am the abyss of my uncertainty"! Perfect!

[Gheeneil]

Such profound and deep thoughts are packed with wisdom. A well-written piece.

[Angel Bird]

What a sad poem. Fortunately there was light to be seen in some distance in the end. Yes sometimes we feel like that and it takes some strength to pull oneself together again to see the bright side of life.....
Good writing because you were able to provoke real sad emotions in the reader. Keep it up, but hopefully with a little more sunshine ...

[Stacy A. Foster]

Memories are so important! The only line that threw me off a bit was
"Where light has forgotten to shone" Should this read "shine"? I had to read it a few times.

The video is a nice touch. I like the touch of spirit at the end.

Very nice!
Stacy

[Jessica]

this is a great write.

[Theta S. T.]

With the music in the backround you've captured the "deep lurking things" perfectly. It makes you feel as though something is following you but somehow you've made your way through it all. Great write

~~Theta

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

This is inspiring and uplifting. Beautiful.


Great Write

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

I know the feeling of trying hard to forget something from the past that hurts - you capture that well. I like that there is hope in the end here - it is uplifting. Hang in there and thank you for sharing.
Light,
Siddartha