Painted Scene of Love

Let me paint you a picture of love,
Of a moment of quiet bliss.
Where the heart rose out of the abyss,
Skyward, hovering in the clouds above.

Picture the sky fades from violet to black.
Bright orbs litter across the blacken sky.
A gentle breeze slowly floats on by.
The grass cool, when slowly leaning back.

Two people sit upon the grassy sea,
Immersed in the black velvet dark,
A long journey, they shall now embark.
Enjoying laughter, their own company.


Their laughter floats upon the slight breeze.
Smiles gleam, hidden within the purple night.
A silent love, encases a heart's delight;
As warm arms holding, do begin to please.

Fiery kisses planted on gentle lips,
While heated skin wraps around tight;
Twinkling star,s signaling all is right.
Love's hold on the heart longingly grips.

Within moments, love, consumes her soul.
Breath panting, a heart's yearning with need,
Kisses become frantic with breathy greed.
In that velvety night, a heart he stole.

The moon cast down it's brilliant light;
Illuminating the couple in the blueish glow.
Fusing lonely hearts, making them grow.
This scene ends, the never ending night.

Author's Note

the flow in this poem is different from what I have done before. I like the way it sounds. tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Lost, n'MT]

I like the A-B-B-A format (forgive me for I don't know or remember very many poetic technical terms). I don't feel you need to know them though to write, read, or appreciate poetry.

I think the rhyme scheme for this piece is very well done, and the imagery is quite amazing to perceive. I really enjoyed this one a lot, fantastic ending as well. Thank you once again for sharing.

[The Analog Kid]

I like this one a lot. Great flow and perfect ending. Nice narrative style.

[Mauricio Montoya]

. Its always good to try something new great write, nice job

[Cheryl J. Turner]

My writing style changes often purely because different feelings need different rhythms... Always be true to your feelings. This piece proves it is no bad thing.

[R E Tree]

I have noticed the change in your writing. It's like your writing has grown from a seed and turned it a beautiful flower. This has tons of imagery and it is remarkable. I enjoyed reading every stanza. I like how you take my mind and show me places, it makes my imagination go wild

[StacyPerry]

You painted quite a vivid mind splashed picture in this one. I really liked the last line as it brought things to a close even though it is still open [depends how you read it]....

[Kat Plunkett]

i agree with poppysilver,loved it:)

[Ruth]

Last stanza is stunningly beautiful!
This is beautifully told hon, a tale like adventure of the female's yearning, the couples embrace of love and life:)
Wonderfully moving actually!
xx

[Jenny Nelson]

I like it. I has a feel as if one's reading someone's thoughts and memories. It's a very descriptive and has a lovely feel to it. Well done!