Onyx Mood

for poetry and lyrical group

Darkness falling upon the cement ground
Emotions twisting into agony and pain
Teardrops swirling sobbing the only sound
Dampness invading taking hold of the reigns

Aching inside consumed with loss
Blackened onyx permeates all feelings
Heartache burning, becoming the boss
Spirit screaming loudly for healing

Longing growing stronger by the day
Yearning increasing with each second
Sadness thriving wanting to come play
Charcoal spirit, for kindness it does beckon

Hungering for honest sweetness to be found
Craving kindness in earnest to save
A binding of spirits already have bound
Separated by distance, a passion's grave.
 

Reviews

[Mauricio Montoya]

what I get from this piece is trying to find peace from an impending problem that can not be resolved and the more you contemplate the stronger the force enclose you. nevertheless I like the choice of words that bring this piece together with amazing flow. Excellent write.

[Ruth]

Beautifully said!
Each line compliments the next superbly!
Wonderful :)
There are some classic lines in this poem! Kudos friend!
xx

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful story hidden in the words. The poem is needed to be read a few times.
"Charcoal spirit, for kindness it does beckon". So many lines jump at me. Your words powerful and with purpose. I like the complete poem. Last lines made the poem complete. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Frifthor (D^2)]

An excellent poem, giving off an abstract feel. You give just the right amount of info on the subject, and your rhyming works well with it. I normally have a problem with rhyme, but you didn't seem to use anything that struck me as to cliche here.

[Ladysue]

I could feel the longing in this piece...

this is a great line...Separated by distance, a passion's grave.

well penned...

[HorrorMaster]

Amazing poem, very good

[The Water Queen]

This honestly is one of my favorites. I can feel everyword and every emotion that is printed through ink. This flows very well and the emotions are almost 3d off the paper. The reader can feel the lonliness of the writer and mit made me feel lonely just by reading it. It also didnt help that i am listening to a song about loneliness. Great poem!

[Cheryl J. Turner]

Descriptive and emotive, I cannot fault this piece.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

In this poem I get the sense of inner peace as the person goes comes to grips with mortality and is ready when death calls for they have peace in their heart and compassion in their soul.

[The Analog Kid]

"Separated by distance, a passion's grave." This is a well-crafted line here. Straight forward feel, but very passionate plea. Nice:)