Red Velvet Tease

Red Velvet Tease

A Poem by Emily Dickinson Jr.
"

Read! It's bout a "girl" that plays with one 2 many men's hearts. She got her game turned on her. One of the guys she played with became an obsessed stalker and wouldn't give her a moment of peace.

"

 

 

Red velvet tease

 

I chase you

Through my dreams

 

Your voice so soft, so low

Takes away my choice

 

My weakness was my inhibition

 

 

But the lack

Are my golden, gilded chains

 

You whip away my sensibilities

You strip away my will

You hoard my every other

Thought and Prayer

 

The chain links clacked

They were too strong

 

You never guessed

Your siren song

Could go so wrong

 

That your sucuubi ties

Would make crazy

 

Obsession

 

That your practiced, pretty lies

Would result for you

 

A painful, bold lesson

© 2013 Emily Dickinson Jr.


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Reviews

Whoa. Seductively penned. An encounter with a succubi would be a dire kind of allure indeed. Sends a shiver up the spine.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

8 Years Ago

lol thank you :) I was going for that kind of subtle alure a kind of seductive danger.
L.Edward

8 Years Ago

Your welcome. And you really went for it alright. Evil temptress to the max. A soul-eater no less. N.. read more
Wow.. so powerful. I am really impressed by your insight :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

8 Years Ago

lol thank you :-) I try
"Your siren song
Could go so wrong"
Most times. Siren's lead you to bad places. I like the feel of control and a painful ending. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

8 Years Ago

o problem coyote :-) thank YOU for your lovely review. they always make me smile and im always happ.. read more
I think you should publish this one in your anthology.

I really liked this part:
"You whip away my sensibilities
You strip away my will
You hoard my every other
Thought and Prayer"

It has a very Trent Reznor feel to it.

The part I dislike is "But the lack." It might be because I don't understand it, but it seems to interrupt the flow.

What might be interesting is making bold bold, heh.


Posted 8 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

8 Years Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I don't know who Trent Reznor is but I'll look him up. :-) By the lack I .. read more
Ryan Dulac

8 Years Ago

Yeah, you would have to sacrifice the you being bold. You may not want to do that. Reznor is the lyr.. read more
Emily Dickinson Jr.

8 Years Ago

well personally my teacher told me what free verse was so i said "so I can do what I want?" she said.. read more
I really like the way this is constructed. Everything from font to wording and stanzas.
An excellent job! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

8 Years Ago

Aww Thanx rogue!! I dnt follow any particular rules so I'm always pleasantly suprised when I get co.. read more
Oh, very clever! Love it!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

8 Years Ago

Lol Thanx beth, i do try
Now this is a wonderful poem as it is. Excellent job! You should think of entering it in a contest.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

8 Years Ago

I do enter it in numerous contests fairly often :-)
Sherman P. Bastarache

8 Years Ago

I tweeted it for you and put it on stumbleupon I think it was. Good luck and keep writing.
Emily Dickinson Jr.

8 Years Ago

Awww Thanx so much that makes me so happy!!
This is a beautiful poem in the
construction and in the content.
We can all learn from this and
we can all enjoy the song of life
liberty and the pursuit of beauty.
Thanks,
---- Eagle Cruagh

Posted 9 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

9 Years Ago

Thank you eagle!! I'm glad you enjoyed it :-)
Nice!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

9 Years Ago

thnx :-)
Some teasings are more "strong" than others as well as intent-full.



Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emily Dickinson Jr.

9 Years Ago

yup! :-)

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1277 Views
15 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 15, 2012
Last Updated on April 26, 2013
Tags: slut, prostitute, succubi, chains, whip, man, succubis

Author

Emily Dickinson Jr.
Emily Dickinson Jr.

FL



About
Im just a highschool girl. Writing is my hobby and I think Im fairly good at it but I leave you to be the judge of that. :-) my best short stories are: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/poisinros.. more..

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