Lord help us all

Lord help us all

A Poem by Emily Dickinson Jr.
"

A warning towards humanity to not be blind. It describes how everyone one ignores the the signs and clues and becomes consumed by laziness and sin. Please read! :-D

"

 

 

 

 

The clock strikes twelve and the lightning strikes

The people run in frenzy

Fearing the end of their lives

The storms swarm humanity

 

Soulless

Not intact

 

This mass hysteria

Is a mess

Of malcontent

 

The furies ravage the souls of the worthy

Takes away their spears and hopes

The dreams are cut by sharpened silver

 

And they fall

Down, down, down

And you think for sure

The heroes survive

 

And you think they'll come back alive

Even as they're speared on a knife

 

Reality isn't that fair

Even myths know it's true

 

The world can turn blank white and black

Or even royal blue

 

The Hugh isn't the error

The problem lies inside

 

The falsities belie the everyday faces

They lay in everyone

And even in you I know

There are traces

 

You can't escape the trap

It has shut "Snap!"

On us all

 

And one day I hope

You'll see the shapes

Not just lights of black, white

Or maybe royal blue

 

God bless the readers

Hope and pray that

The Lord may save you

© 2013 Emily Dickinson Jr.


My Review

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Reviews

Good observation and voice of what is to come. For too many the clock will have struck its hour and caught them unprepared. Good stuff.

A small critique to bring hope at the end. I would have written the last line as: May the Lord find you saved." Salvation has already come. It would be a matter of acceptance of it.

Cheers,
Doc.
/CWG Moderator.

Posted 5 Years Ago


I love the imagery- didn't scream "voyeuristic" for me, but awesome otherwise!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

6 Years Ago

I knw lol but I kinda thought the ending fit you know cuz then e readers realize their being address.. read more
"God bless the readers
Hope and pray that
The Lord may save you"
Need hope and faith to survive in our world. You took me on a wild ride to real understanding. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


I feel there is a great depth to this piece one that even though I try to reveal, may never fully come to fruition within me, as though every word has a particular meaning that totaled becomes one epic piece on civil submission and idealist retroactive complacency. XD Great job!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

6 Years Ago

lol thanx! :-D
Lord help us all
(Review for Change the World Competition) Very good craft but I believe the attention that has obviously been paid to construction has hindered emotional content. What I like about this though is that there is a vast array of thoughts produced by your words. I had to read this three times. You have a talent that’s for sure.


Posted 6 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

6 Years Ago

awww thanx H.W. I wont pretend to know what you mean by construction though lol. honestly this was.. read more
A very intriguing poem you have here. The doom and gloom on a global scale is not something I am used to seeing in poetry. Or maybe I've just been looking in the wrong places.

The message of this poem is something I agree should be heeded. Among my favorite parts was the stanza about heroes, as others have said. It is my belief that the heroes, kin to those of old, are all dead and gone. Humanity is but a shadow of its former self, a pale reflection of what it could have, should have been. My other favorite part dealt with the lies that exist within each of us, the sins of all our race, reflected in the hearts and souls of each person, even if only a little.

Very interesting indeed.

Thank you for sharing.

One typo I caught, however. In stanza 6, line two, "their" should be "they're".

EDIT: You also get props for the picture from Diablo 3.

-Caradoc

Posted 6 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

6 Years Ago

hahahaha thanx so much Caradoc! I like original poems. Honestly when I wrote this I was quite ups.. read more
Fantastic. Very good poem :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

6 Years Ago

Glad you liked it TLN
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Q
Wow, just wow. Now that was a poem with impact! I especially loved the part about heroes falling and how we may want to believe that they'll return but reality isn't that kind. That is so true. Sad, but true. We have to wake up! It really takes guts to point out the traces of this same flaw in the reader as well, and to call them to action despite the trap they cannot escape. Excellent job!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

7 Years Ago

If theres one thing I have when I write its guts and initiative. ppl often comment that I touch on .. read more
Q

7 Years Ago

That's so true! I've long believed it's a writer's job to shed light on things which other people ma.. read more
Emily Dickinson Jr.

7 Years Ago

Thanx so much your reviews are always a pleasure to read :-)
wowza, i love the feelig that you express as well as the... Well it seems i have run out of words to desccribe this. All i can say is that i love when you said " The furies ravage the souls of the worthy

Take away their spears and hopes

The dreams are cut by sharpened silver



And they fall

Down, down, down

And you think for sure

The heroes survive

And you think they'll come back alive



Even as their speared on a knife

Reality isn't that fair

Even myths know it's true" this was the part that truly hit me, its so very true. Your gift in writing is amazing and unique. Well done. :D


Posted 7 Years Ago


Mariah Corey

7 Years Ago

wow 2 minutes nice. Yeah it was a bit different but that just made it better. :D
Emily Dickinson Jr.

7 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it so much! :-)
Mariah Corey

6 Years Ago

np, i am glad u shared it. :D
very good with your imagery! You clearly painted this in my mind, I have to say this piece is quite lovely.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Emily Dickinson Jr.

7 Years Ago

thanx so much!

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14 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on August 26, 2012
Last Updated on January 11, 2013
Tags: demons, heaven, warning, prophecies, fate, myth, god, lord, fury, black, white, blue, humans

Author

Emily Dickinson Jr.
Emily Dickinson Jr.

FL



About
Im just a highschool girl. Writing is my hobby and I think Im fairly good at it but I leave you to be the judge of that. :-) my best short stories are: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/poisinros.. more..

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