For Once, a School Dance is Exciting

"Come on Beka."

"No."

"You have to get your head out of a book sometimes you know."

"No."

"I promise it will be more fun than last time."

"Ha. No."

"There will be people there."

"Precisely."

"You just have to go."

"Says who, you?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Beka!" Julianna whined. "You haven't gone to the last three."

"For good reason." I countered. 

The two of us were in my room. We had been at this argument for the past two weeks, ever since the school had announced that there would be a dance. I'd gotten into the habit of picking up whatever book was handy when she brought up the subject, and saying 'no' over and over again.

"Would you please put your book down?" She asked, obviously exasperated. I sighed, preparing for another grueling one-sided debate, and placed the scrap of paper I used as a bookmark between pages one hundred fifty-eight and one hundred fifty-nine of Frances Hodgson Burnett's The Secret Garden.

"Good. Now, as I was saying, you have to get out of your comfort bubble some times. It's part of being in high school. I'm trying to help you."

"Trying to help me?"

"Yes, trying to help you."

"Okay, remember last time you tried to help me?"

"Umm, yeah." she looked uncomfortable at the direction that this conversation had taken.

"What happened Julianna?" I asked, sarcastically sweet. She flinched at the memory.

"Okay, so I messed up. But it wasn't all my fault you know! That refreshment table was way to close to the dance floor. How was I supposed to see that coming?"

"Julianna," I looked her right in the eyes, and spoke slowly. "I am not going to the dance."

She was silent for a moment, thinking hard. 

"Even if I say please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Not even."

she looked dejected, and slightly frantic.

"You've got to."

"No I don't."

"But I told Jo--" she bit off the word she was about to say with a blush.

"Jo? Jo what?" I asked her suspiciously.

She sighed, still flushing bright red. "I told Joseph DeVera that I would get you to go with him."

"You what?"

"I told Joseph DeVera that I would get you to go with him."

"Why?"

"Why? Why? See this is exactly why you should stop reading quite so much and get your head in the real world, because it's obvious that he likes you. Everyone can tell, except for you. I did it for your own good."

"Well you can just go right back to him and tell him I said no."

"But you'll break his heart!" She cried.

I snorted. "I seriously doubt that."

"Do not doubt the power of love Beka!"

"You're funny. You know that right?"

"Why do you have to be so... so... hard hearted?"

"Julianna, quit being so dramatic." I started opening my book back up.

"Rebeka Kalicasto, I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice." She proclaimed, still being dramatic. 

Then, she did the unthinkable.

she stole my book.

"No!" I yelped, grabbing for it, but she pulled back out of my reach.

"Say you'll go!"

"What will you do if I say no?" I asked, curious despite the danger The Secret Garden was in.

"I'll give it to your little brother, Ralph."

"No! He'll scribble all over it! Give it back!"

"Not until you agree to go!"

"Julianna that's a library book!"

"All the more reason to agree."

"Give it!" I jumped up and tried seizing it by force, but it was no use. She was at least six inches taller than me. Not to mention that she was a lot stronger than I was.

"Ralph! Come here Ralph I've got something for you!" Julianna yelled at the door.

"Don't listen to her! Stay where you are!" I hollered back while yanking on Julianna's arm. 

"What is it?" Asked a small, innocent sounding voice from the hallway. I knew better.

"Go away!" I shrieked.

 Julianna forced her way to the door, getting about a foot withing the doorknob before I wrested her to the ground. "A boring black and white book that needs some artwork in it Ralph."

 "No!" I shouted. 

 "Really?" He said, ignoring me completely. "For me?"

 "Yup. Just open the door."

 the door creaked open, and Ralph peeked in, little hands covered in something sticky and gross, a purple crayon stuck out of his pocket.

 It was too much.

 "Okay! I give! Did you hear me Julianna! I'll go! Don't give him the book!"

 "Good. I thought you'd come round. Ralph, How 'bout some gum instead?"

 "Is it spicy?" he questioned. "I don't like spicy gum."

 "Spicy?" Julianna whispered.

 "Cinnamon or mint." I answered, still straining for the book that Julianna kept annoyingly out of reach.

 "Oh, thanks. It's not spicy Ralph, it's Tropical fruit. Here, taste it." she gave him a silvery wrapped stick. he tossed the foil to the ground and shoved the purple tinted gum in his mouth. With a smile, he left.

I sighed with relief and went limp. "Okay. I'm going. give me back my book.

"Nah, I think I'll keep it until after the dance is over." Julianna said with a cute little smile, she even batted her eyelashes at me.

Pure evil. I was sure of it.

 

 

Which was why, four hours later, I was wearing a dress and glaring at Julianna across the gym.

Mental note; I should choose my friends more carefully.

"Er... Would you like to dance?" Joseph asked shyly.

"Um... Okay. I guess. I can't dance though." I admitted.

"That's okay. I can't either." he shrugged. "Let's do what they're doing. that looks easy."

He gestured to a couple close to us, who were swaying awkwardly back and forth. he was right, it did look easy, but it didn't look like fun.

Shaking, I placed my left hand on his shoulder and my right in his outstretched hand. We swayed inelegantly back and forth, being careful not to bump into any other partnerships on the dance floor.

"So, umm... What's your favorite color?" Joseph asked me.

"Green."

"That's nice. So, what is your favorite school subject?"

"Literature."

We were both quiet for a few moments, making sure we weren't stepping on each other's toes. Finally he broke the silence.

"Do you like... Cats?" he inquired weakly. 

Honestly, was this how all out conversation was going to be? It was making us both feel stupid.

"Umm, cats? Sure. They're okay."

Mercifully, the song ended. We both dropped our arms to our sides, quickly.

"That was... Fun." I said, trying to smile.

"Well, not really." Joseph said, actually smiling. "Let's go get some refreshments."

I smiled for real this time too, and we both relaxed. Julianna passed close by and whispered "I told you so."

"Shut up." I whispered back, but I was still smiling. she was right, this wasn't so bad. 

The refreshment table on the edge of the crowd was covered in bowls of ice cream toppings. People were lining up for scoops of the sweet treat and covering them in nuts and M&M's.

Joseph and I stepped into line and got out ice cream. He chose caramel and chocolate syrup topped with whipped cream. I went for fresh strawberries and blueberries. We sat down next to some of his friends and their dates.

After a few minutes of listening to our table's conversation, I excused myself to get a drink.

A very strange girl stood by the punch bowl. She had pale blonde hair and big grey eyes. But weirdest of all, she was wearing a bright blue blouse covered in green spots, and a red, yellow and purple plaid skirt. She was getting some weird looks from passersby, but didn't seem to notice. In fact, she seemed really distracted.

"Hi." I said, trying to follow Julianna's advice and 'socialize'.

"Hi." she glanced my direction, and did a double take. 

"There you are! You know you were supposed to meet at the Castle yesterday? I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"I-- uh-- what?" I stuttered, stepping back. I didn't know much about making friends, but I was pretty sure that her response wasn't normal. Like, really wasn't normal.

"Well? Come on. We're late, so let's go." She grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the double doors of the gym.

"Hold it! W-wait! Where are you taking--"

She was too focused on wherever she was going to pay any attention to me. I tried to yank my hand free, but she was stronger than Julianna.

I was so distracted on getting away from her that I was only vaguely aware that we were outside. I gave a mighty heave, and fell flat on my rump when there was no resistance. The girl, whoever she was, had let go, and was looking at a mass of pipes on the outside of the building while muttering to herself. I thought I heard the phrase "I'm going to need a stick." and she began looking at the ground. 

I didn't know who she was, or what she was doing, or if she was even sane. Slowly, I began crab walking backwards away from her, hoping to get back to the gym before she noticed I was gone.

my hand snapped a twig. The girl spun around.

"Ah! You found one. Thanks." she reached behind me and picked up the stick I'd broken, it was thin and about a foot long, bent slightly from my weight. She smiled at it as if it was made of gold, then looked back down at me. "What are you doing down there?"

"I-- uh--"

"Get up. I need your help. here, hold this." she gave me a handful of grass and pebbles.

"Wha--"

"Stand over here." She pushed me back a bit. "I need some room."

Then I witnessed the weirdest thing I'd ever seen.

She took the stick, and started running it across the bricks in the wall, up and down, up and down. then she hopped around in a circle, switched legs and hopped back the other way, shook one of the pipes, and started doing what looked like the thriller dance. I watched the whole spectacle with my mouth open, and I didn't even think about getting away until it was too late.

"Kay," she came over to me, panting, "I need that now." she took the grass and rocks from me, and threw them at the pipes. there was a clang as the pebbles connected, but it didn't fade away, like it should have. the sound just sort of hung in the air, like a bell.

something beneath the ground shifted.

the girl seized my hand once more, pulling me to the pipes.

"Brace yourself!" she whooped.

And I was falling into darkness.

 

Reviews

[emma]

wow. this was really well written! I really enjoyed the banter between Beka and Julianna. It made me think of me and my friends :)

and thats another reason why i liked this. I could relate to it quite well. (except for the whole "falling into darkness" bit.

well done and excited to read more :)

[Lou Briggs]

I love the straight dialogue at the beginning. Excellent!

Before you post your stories, I advise you type them up in Microsoft Word (with spell check on), because your lack of capitalization towards the end of this chapter really destracted me. Also, you're taking a lot of liberty's with formatting here - normally, you don't see words in caps lock. People don't generally go farther than italicizing words of importance. And quite honestly, with your punctuation and character's tone, you don't need the capitals.

Why is Beka so shocked when the girl asks for her? I understand what you mean, but it doesn't make sense. Unless the strange girl says something like "I need her for top secret, highly illegal
drug cartel," Beka doesn't have a reason to react that way yet.

Except for the un-capitalized words, your writing is very good. If I had any recommendations for you, I would say to lengthen this first chapter a bit. I'm a huge fan of action that picks up within the first few pages, but I don't know whether to feel relieved that Beka is being taken away, or scared for her. Does she long for adventure? Is she a b***h? Is she just antisocial, or shy? Does she live in the suburbs with her mother and step-father, or in an artist's loft in Greenwich City with her cool, writer father? You don't need a lot, but a little bit, told in a creative way, can speak volumes about your character.

I hope that helps! Good luck!

-Lou

[TheMizFit]

This looks very interesting! :)