scribbles

that moment when you just put everything on the page

I live in a fairy tale world, where I believe people care enough to read what I write, I wish I could do everything that I can’t, what I can do just isn't good enough. I want to be able to make people hear me. I write so much on paper and then I throw it out, or I put it out there and no one has the time to read, so now I just keep it to myself. Half the time I only write because I want to feel the keys give way under my fingers and then watch the word pour onto the screen in font of. It’s my expression. Some dance, some sing, some even talk but I write. I express myself then let only myself see it after that. I write about fairy-tale situation which I wish would happen, the fairy-tale that’s turned upside down. I want to live perfectly, have him sweep my off my feet then have it slip away. I want to feel the pain of not having the chance to say good bye, you say I’m crazy but I want to feel it so I know that life is real, that I will appreciate that I had my fairy-tale. I’m scared that I will never feel that pain and in return never experience that fairy-tale moment. I want to believe that somewhere there is broken hearted boy who scribbles the dame way I do, draws the same nothingness I feel and one day he will come in on his white horse and let me see his scribbles. Then I can turn and show him mine and then together the scribbles will turn into a story that no one saw coming. But I don’t want it to last forever. The thought of losing him before I've even meet him makes me feel sick but how can you truly appreciate something until you lose it. I want to appreciate my fairy-tale and if losing it is what it takes then snatch it from me, just give me long enough to understand that it is my fairy-tale moment. 

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I can relate to this read...I think a lot will x