Fading Away

What happens when kids stop believing in their imaginary friends?

Five Years Old

            “Ready or not, here I come!” I heard him shout from down the hallway. Peter hasn’t got a chance. He never checks in the laundry room, especially in the dryer.

            “Henry…” I hear Peter whimper. He has no patience for this game and my hiding abilities make it a fairly long one. It’s my job to teach him this life skill, though. One of the hardest and longest to teach and learn. He hasn’t given up yet, which is unusual.

            “I will find you, Henry!” Persistence. It was time for his reward. I sneaked in to the kitchen, where I knew Peter will head next. I slid into a cupboard. Manipulating my size was tough at the beginning but the longer I was with him, the easier it got.

            The small wooden doors flew open. I turned and saw Grace, Peter’s mom, instead of Peter. She ran her hands along the back of the cupboard and pulled out a bread pan. Peter ran into the kitchen.

            “Mom, stop! You might hurt Henry!” he yelled, pulling her away. She rolled her eyes, but played along with him. She gently rubbed his head.

            “Oh. My bad. You tell Henry I’m very sorry, sweetheart. Go cleanup, dinner will be ready soon.”

 

Seven Years Old

            “You can be Tonto and I’ll be John Reid.” Peter had a fascination with The Lone Ranger. It was one of the first things he read when he started reading. John Reid was his favorite character.

            He ran to the other side of the yard and climbed up the tall oak tree. “Tonto, Tonto! Help, the bandits have tied me up in this tree and I can’t get down! Help me Tonto! They can’t get the gold!”

            “I’m coming! Don’t worry!” I ran around the backyard with a confused look on my face. I ran one way and then the other.

            “I can’t see you. What do you mean?” I played dumb.

            “Lunch time, Peter!” Grace yelled from inside the house. Playtime was over. Peter looked down and his lip quivered. I could tell he didn’t know how to get down.

            “Henry, you have to catch me, okay? 3, 2, 1…” I ran to the tree and held my arms out for him to fall into. I knew this wouldn’t work but I tried it anyways.

            “Owwww! Mommy! Mommy help!” he screamed. I was right, he’d gone straight through them. It was foolish of me to try. I shouldn’t have let him climb up there. I knew what came next.

            “Peter! Oh my God! Honey, wait here for just a second, let me get my phone to call Daddy. We need to go to the hospital”

            When she came back she said, “Why on earth did you get in that tree, Peter? You know it is dangerous. Why would you do that?”

            “I thought Henry would catch me.”

            “Honey, it’s time you stop playing with him. He isn’t real. He can’t help you like that. He’s imaginary. You’re too old to play games with him. He-isn’t-real. Do you understand me, Peter? He isn’t real.”

            Peter nodded to her as she picked him up and carried him to her blue minivan. As I looked down, my feet were already disappearing.

 

 

Eight Years Old

            Ever since that day we were playing The Lone Ranger, I faded more and more. But this day, I’d vanished.

            “Why are you talking to yourself, Peter?” David scolded him. His three friends crowded around him and stuck their tongues out at Peter.

            “I bet he’s got an imaginary friend! Aaaaw, you had to create your own friend, Petey Weetey. Ha!”

            “I do not!”

            “Do too!”

            “Do not!”

            “Do too!”

            “I do not! Imaginary friends are imaginary friends for a reason. They’re imaginary. They don’t exist. I’ve never had one and I have never even wanted one.”

            I felt the pain deep in my heart. It felt like a million letter openers jabbing me. There was no going back from saying that. He’d stopped believing…and I’d stopped existing.

Author's Note

"My imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist."-Henry Miller

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a great little vignette that covers a few years of growing up and shows your progression of youthful life with good details that convey honest feelings. I never had an imaginary friend & this is an eye-opening portrait of one way it might be as a child outgrows this childhood fantasy, with a little pressure from peers. Good pacing & good dialogue.

[matrixmark]

So, this was different. I'm sure that I'm not alone in saying that I had imaginary friends.

This piece is quite sad - it says to me that Peter was lonely and found it hard to mix with others, so he made up his own friends. I guess at the time it made him happy but when David had a go at him for talking to himself I guess in a way it was a wake up call for him - a sad wake up call for him. Kind of felt a bit like that santa clause moment - when you find out he isn't real.

Sad, interesting read, and well penned.

Mark.

[Quinn W]

Aaaw. Thank you so much. I have a question for you: Did the idea that imaginary friends can teach us important life lessons come through while reading it? I was trying to convey that a little.

[matrixmark]

Yes it did - in a way.
It teaches us to be more socialble'interact with others ie - real people and kind of forces us into talking with others. (don't know how else to describe it, so sorry for the lack of explanation. I know what I want to say but I can't find the right words.) The earlier you start mixing with others, the better you stand in later life for all its trials and tribulations.

Mark.