i give up

i'm sorry for the lack of new writing! i'm really frustrated right now, and i just.. i want to just go away. i know, i know i shouldn't, but i'm so messed up i can't think straight, i just don't know.

i give up.

i said it, there.

i give up and i don't wanna have to change,

i give up, i give up, i don't wanna see 

anything i could possibly be.

i know by now it's not worth it,

i'm still gonna be the worst

try harder than the others

but it doesn't show, no

so

why should i have to do this

every time, breaking myself down

trying so hard but i don't know how to make it work

nothing seems to be going right

i just need another night

i give up.

i said it, yeah.

i give up and i don't wanna keep going,

i give up, i give up, i don't wanna see

anything i could possibly be.

and i know that it's not right to leave

things unfinished, hanging on a thread

but i've honestly spent too much time

worrying about this, and i really don't wanna

have to go through it again

they don't have to worry at all

perfect little lives in order,

no need to stress about

anything they're doing,

they have it done.

i give up.

i said it, now.

i give up and i don't wanna keep trying,

i give up, i give up, i don't wanna see

anything i could possibly be.

can't you just push me down,

instead of keeping me here

can't you lose me in the crowd

can't you see that i'm scared?

this is out of my control

just stop picking me up, helping me out

i'm trying to fade away,

drift into space

just let me be myself,

stop trying to make me stop thinking about

i give up.

i said it, there.

i give up and i don't wanna have to change,

i give up, i give up, i don't wanna see 

anything i could possibly be.

nothing i do works out,

i do everything wrong

there's nothing that's okay now

so stop lying through your teeth,

i'm fine.

and sometimes there are good points

but right now they seem to disappear

i can't see anything worth smiling about,

and i know, i know i have to try again

can't leave this behind, but

i give up.

i said it, yeah.

i give up and i don't wanna keep going,

i give up, i give up, i don't wanna see

anything i could possibly be.

i'm giving up,

i'm giving up

i'm sick of trying so hard

to do things i know 

are out of my reach.

i'm giving up,

i'm giving up

i don't wanna have to see

how everything i do

falls apart, again.

i give up.