Saving Me

A smile that lights the darkened streets

Eyes that pour into mine

I didn’t know where I was, until you arrived

You slowly started to enlighten my life

Where would I be, if we didn’t met

Somewhere dark sad and gloomy

Thank god you were there to save me

From the monster of self-destruction

That tried to consume me

You brought me out from my fog

And forever I am greatful

You saved me from the dark

Showed me the light

You have left a permeate mark

That will forever warm me inside

Author's Note

sorry the rythem is alittle off.

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I think the worst thing you could have done to this poem is create a perfectly symmetrical structure. The candid nature of your words give nothing but sincerity. IMO...such perfection is by design and is very hard to be convincing as coming from the heart. On the extreme end...some poets can take a poem with lines that seem totally random in length and sing them with musical compositions to make amazing songs. I've played with a few.

but, enough with structure. This was a real gem.....with a romantic side that comes from the days of old we daydream of.

[Keeley]

You're correct flow is a bit off. Buut it's got a could concept. If you rearrange your adjectice it'll set the piece off much better. Still gorgeous though.