Drift Away

 

 

 

 

 

Drift Away

 

　

　

　

What wonder there is,

in even the simplest of things;

those quietudes of purity oft

tempered with the complexity,

of tangled skin and intricacy.

 

Like a smile, you can only read,

goose bumps from someone

you never even met,

or the flight of an invisible kite

high up in the clouds

tethered by only a thread of trust

and some slippery, grip of faith.

 

Its funny how the special person

can make it seem like you’ve almost

been sightless and deaf all your life,

how the colors in music

now almost blind your ears,

how the melody of a sunrise

now almost silences your eyes,

how every moment begins

with so much more meaning,

and how every instance yet

has so much more loneliness,

because you now live in

the land of I wonders,

and, what ifs?

 

I don’t know.

 

Its everything you wanted

that you never even knew,

and, its everything you didn’t want

that you were afraid, to ever know.

 

Ahh, the balance of being.

And, this broken ruled, equity

of impermanence.

 

I never felt how the tongue of tides

reached deep, inside

the mouths of rivers that empty yet,

in stride into the sea,

until I met you.

 

Nor how the blustery

of vicissitudes could be so

tempestuous, and frigid

when they disappear with not notice

or consideration.

 

But then, since when has wind

itself ever known

which way it was headed.

 

All it ever wanted to do,

just like life itself,

was to chase the shadows,

of a setting sun,

in the search sometimes,

of an unwanted afterward

or yet perhaps

to the betrothed of some

wordless embrace or,

that song unsung.

 

 

But then what more really,

were we ever meant to thirst?

 

Too bad sometimes,

the wondrous kites

that get to dance

with wind in flight

atop the waves

of floating sea

in bottles trapped

on gentle breeze

lose the hand

that held the tie

that once enabled

kiss from sky

I guess for never,

while stays.

 

Even dreams,

that drift away.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Aimee Mahathy]

Oh wow, this poem is so beautiful! I rarely read "long" poems, but this one kept me going on and on and on, until I realized I'd been scrolling for longer than usual.
I loved the images used in this, especially the kite. Your vocabulary is extensive and refreshing! It's amazing that you managed to sum up so much so perfectly in two simple lines.
Great write!

[Rose]

Amazing imagery! A feast for the eyes!

"Its funny how the special person
can make it seem like you’ve almost
been sightless and deaf all your life,
how the colors in music
now almost blind your ears,
how the melody of a sunrise
now almost silences your eyes,
how every moment begins
with so much more meaning,
and how every instance yet
has so much more loneliness,
because you now live in
the land of I wonders,
and, what ifs?"

That is my favorite part because it is so true! When you find that certain someone you spend all day persuing thoughts of them in whatever way you can and are rewarded with imaginary futures of lifes intertwined by love and lust.

Yours truly, Rose

[Kate Franta]

I would ask your permission to print this poem out and truly examine the piece as a whole, except that I'm going to do it whether you want me to or not, Antonio. You absolutely blow my mind every time. Your understanding of "that feeling" is superb: falling in love and realizing how liquid it all is, how it could fall through your fingers with carelessness. Your third stanza is my favorite presently, though I have no doubt I myself will fall in love with the liquid words you've written.

Also, lots of points for using the word "vicissitudes" correctly. I so approve.

[Millionth Muse]

or the flight of an invisible kite
high up in the clouds
tethered by only a thread of trust
and some slippery, grip of faith.

--These are my favorite lines. I truly love the idea of a "thread of trust". Faith is a funny thing...beautiful, scary and tragic. The imagery here is fantastic, and the word choice amazing.

[Adora.xo]

In complete honesty, I do not know what to say. This was.. Magnificent. Beautiful. Imagenary. Everything I have wanted and never even knew, I suppose :P. The wording was pure genius, and flowed in the most magical way. I have yet to read a poem to top this Antonio! You've blown me away in every perspective of the word! I'm looking forward to reading more from you! Don't you dare ever stop writing! This is like something, I will one day read in a text book, and students will study. This is something that possibly, can compare to the works of other literary heroes; Shakespear, Sir Thomas Wyatt, Christopher Marlowe etc. The physicial form of the poem itself was also amazing, and working very well with the dreaminess of it all! Keep it up, keep it up, keep it up!!!!!

~Adora


PS: The picture you chose wit it, fits!

[EILEEN McGUINNESS]

This was absolutely brilliant, a wonderful piece of writing with an amazing intensity and sublime stanza'a which really lit up the page and allowed the reader to utilise their own imagination and appreciate the writing in it's infinite complexities.

[Tara]

My favorite stanza is the "tongue of tides" stanza...I love that...and I love how you describe how the world looks and feels different when you are in love. Some of the stanza's feel a bit forced to me. But those felt real and moving.

[Heather]

Antonio,

This poem deserves to have a very in-depth critique, although I'm not sure that is what you are looking for. I already adore it but know that it can be so much more. This is most promising piece I have read since I joined this site and you give me hope. :) If you would like my humble opinions, please do inquiry. Otherwise, the imagery is magnificent. Of course the obvious contradictions in description that SM Davis mentioned are beautiful. There is so much more of this that is beautiful, but that is for a much more involved conversation. Bravo.

[SM Davis]

how the colors in music
now almost blind your ears,

LOVE THAT! I was sitting listening to a musician play his acoustic guitar the other day and I closed my eyes feeling as if magic had somehow penetrated my soul...thinking to myself...how have I not heard this magic before?

[A]

Amazing! I love the imagery and the descriptions of your feelings in this piece. This poem is so captivating and the picture fits perfectly. This poem was great and very well written! :)