Conversations with the blind

I'm new to this writing thing but I find it as a good outlet to releasing my frustrations and depression.

Conversions with the blind

"Didn't she break your heart? Didn't she f**k you over?"
"Yeah"
"Why go after her then if she hurt you so bad?"
"I ask myself that everyday. Why accept the excuse of that wasn't me? You know why? Because I'm not perfect either. Yeah maybe I dove in to hard and to fast, it's not my fault she wanted to live. It was my fault for f*****g caring a little to much, it was my fault for thinking I could make something out of nothing, it was my fault for creating this false hope that one day maybe one f*****g day something would come of it."
"It was five hours in man. I saw you with sadness in your eyes. You told me to turn around. You were on the verge of tears."
"Yeah that was the reason I woke up everyday to shots of whiskey to forget but she did it again and again. What was I supposed to hate her? Huh f*****g stop thinking about her like that. That's not how it works. No I kept going and going till I couldn't stand,till I woke up in another girls bed. I kept going to not think about what'd I do if I was sober. As long as my speech was slurred I couldn't hurt her the way she hurt me."
"I just don't get why? You keep avoiding why you went back. You don't go back to places that hurt you they always leave a bad taste in your mouth."
"Yeah they do. Every morning when I look at my scars I'm reminded, every time I see someone who questions my relationship I'm reminded, every time I look in a goddamn mirror I'm reminded of the pain that took the air out of my lungs. I would tell you why if I knew. I don't know why I went back. I was blinded by the fact that when I'm with her I can forget that I'm broken, I can forget about my grudge against the world for treating me like s**t after i give everything i got to others. I can't tell you why it's like asking the wind why it blows, it's just how it was meant to be."