Savior

One in a series of poems bout my mythical girls

I hide in darkness

Grim always of the night

Waiting, watching, wondering

I see victims of hunger, truth, and rape

From my grim perch

 

Alone in darkness

That consumes my soul and invades my heart

For that is all I know

All I've ever known

I hear children's screams

 

And they bring back memories

Of a life I once knew

Hiding in darkness

Hearing muffled sounds

Screaming and thrashing when I am found

 

Against my will I am taken

Emotionally wounded

My dreams fade

My wings black and ashen

I've learned not to love

 

It only weakens you

I hide what I believe alone

In my mind

Wanting, needing to share my thoughts

That influence my mind

 

The darkness calls when things turn sour

And life is cruel

The quiet state of darkness

With only the stars for comfort

I come

I find thee with no hopes and dreams

 

With blackened souls and tainted minds

To find them a new place

To thrive and grow, so they don't become as I

And I save thee

 

I come with dusk

As gray as dawn

For I am

An angel of the night

Author's Note

Original 2005

Reviews

[Mr. Darkblood]

SUGGESTIONS
- "sould" - I hope this is just a typo.
- "Wounded emotionally" should be "emotionally wounded", it fits better with the rhythm and tone.
- "With blacked souls and tainted minds", change "blacked" to "blackened", it just feels more right that way.

Despite my critiques, I think you did a very good job on this piece, it showed anger and sadness very well.

[James Watts]

This is nice and I agree with the comment left by Mary Catherine. Other than that, nice work.

[Marie Harrison]

Sad poem but beautiful with imagery and emotion.

[Mary Katherine]

Really nice. This is another great one. I only think that if you are going to use thee, you should format the whole poem that way. Such as, Mine instead of my. Of course, this is only a suggestion. It is wonderful the way you have it.

[LonelySoul]

we create our own monsters sometimes and they will all invade the dreams we have...

[HorrorMaster]

Very good poem

[chaotic katie]

great write i loved it

[Senseless whatever]

Outstanding write.
I hide what I believe alone
In my mind
Wanting, needing to share my thoughts

[Ruth]

A lot of emotions trapped here! Makes the read a claustrophobic one!
Thats great though lol
Excellent poem love
xx

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good story. What the night could tell if it could speak. I like the feel of someone who is loss and watches the deeds done in anger and heartlessness. The ending was my favorite.
"With blacked souls and tainted minds
To find them a new place
To thrive and grow, so they don't become as I
And I save thee"
A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote