Called Off

drabble

The weeded steps drew me in like idiot flies to the burning candles. I had to see.
He was there. Definitely not helping her put on the bride's maid dress. She mumbled. He nearly shouted in self defense.
“It’s nothing like what it seems, Lisa! This doesn’t have to affect our arrangement!”
“It sure doesn’t affect yours. My father will happily donate the majority of shares to whichever daughter makes sure his grandchildren’s last name will be Winchester.”

I had to turn away and bow my head. Too great the joy. I wouldn’t have to “try to love him” anymore. 

Reviews

[Courtney]

I like it, I don't find it too confusing. It's about a wedding arrangement. The first sentece throws me off a bit, but I like to where it leads.

Lisa's dialogue is a bit awkward though, "My father will happily donate the majority of shares to whichever daughter makes sure his grandchildren's last name will be Winchester."

The makes sure is a little awkward as well as the tense "will be" perhaps try: "...will happily donate...to whichever daughter makes his grandchildren's Winchesters." Or "...whichever daughter gives his grandchildren the last name of Winchester."

Again, I like your "ending", with a bow she ends the engagement, the arrangement, and she won't have to try to love him. You're great at strong finishes.

[~The Queen~]

This is was a little confusing because I'm not sure what the POV (point of view) is because you switch it and then you start to talk about an arrangment and grandchildren.
Just a littel fixer-upper for you I guess :) It does the potenial to be a good story. Just a lot of explaining to be done.

Her Majesty,
The Queen