The Puppies..

One morning,

when i stood behind

my window,

enjoying the cool breeze,

and the delicate morning sunshine,

I saw something

really fine,

which i'd simply

love to define....

I saw the puppies,

one and two and three and four,

all sitting

in front of my door..

One was white,

the other black,

one was brown,

and the other

white, with some black spots

over his body and head..

They looked lovely,

as all animal's kids normally do,

but it was 

their little faces, innocent eyes,

and tiny toes which made them

really sweet..

I couldn't stop,

seeing them from far,

so ran downstairs

to see them 

more clearly than from far..

but oh! i saw their mother,

standing beside those four,

filled with anger,

till her nose..

as if warning saying,

no need to come close..

Later that day,

when i saw their mother,

not present their anymore,

I went near them,

and saw them playing,

and some, even

biting each others toes..

I put some chapattis,

for them to eat,

but sadly, they couldn't,

as they didn't had teeth..

Each time when i 

went near them,

they came running to me,

licking my feet,

as if they waited for me

to play with them,

whenever i was free...

And being with them,

really made me pleased..

At evenings

when the children played,

these four eagerly ran behind them

to play,

and this at times,

made the kids

really afraid...

When children used to play

with the ball,

they grabbed it

in their little mouths and feet,

and passed it on to all...

and the game turned

even more interesting overall..

We named those four,

by four great names,

Jack, Joe, Peter, and Jane..

They hated chapattis,

but loved the candies,

that we fed them with,

again and again..

They enjoyed with us,

the most they could..

and we loved them all,

more than anyone else would..

Days passed, and they grew big,

but they are as great,

as they always stood,

even more than that, before they would

and much more than, a human ever would...

They guard our house,

in our absence

and detered unknown creatures 

from entering there..

Just some chapattis,and

sweet candies,

and our bond became

so strong and happy..

Lots of love,

to those little puppies

who taught us

how should a human be,

caring, lovely, sweet,and

above all,

the most faithful creature indeed... 

Author's Note

i hope you enjoyed reading this...
i would be really happy if you will review and rate it:)
regards,
saumya

Reviews

[Astro]

This is a gorgeous tale about puppies and the love that humans share with animals, dogs in particular. The beginning of your poem is really good, I was kind of sad when the rhyming disappeared but the story you describe in great imagery is solid and makes for a nice read. Grammatically, this is one of your better writes for sure. In this line the verb tense should be changed, "didn't had teeth.." to "didn't 'have' teeth.." and your use of the word "abstain" isn't really appropriate because it means 'stay away from' and not 'keep away from' which is more of what you were going for. I suggest: dissuade, discourage or deter maybe if you want to go even simpler, 'stop'.

All in all a very nice poem Saumya

[Saumya]

Thank you soo much Astro:) really glad you liked it:)

[Aethereal]

You seem to be a master at writing cute poems. There are some good lines here along with a beautiful message. I was inspire to write your second verse in another way cuz it was so cute. You may have this tiny poem as a gift to keep as your own: It's in /0/0/0/ syllable meter whereby / is an accent and 0 is a non-accent. It sings like a song: If you wish to turn your entire poem into a song, you'll need to do that yourself since this is your poem and not mine:

Puppies

I saw puppies at my door
they were brown and white and black
altogether there were four
one had spots upon his back.

[Tom]

Marvelous ! I know exactly where you're coming from and so nice to know your puppies are still with you and all part of one big happy family, the way it should be ! We can all learn so much from dogs and your splendid poem highlights this so well !

[ayosonolowo]

An indeed Nice written, i really like it,

[David Scott]

Who doesn't love puppies?
Great topic to write about.
As a poem, I would like to see you be more succinct in your phrasing. You did this well in some stanza's like, "Just some chapattis,and sweet candies, and our bond became so strong and happy.. Lots of love, to those little puppies who taught us how should a human be, caring, lovely, sweet,and above all, the most faithful creature indeed... "
You wrote your thought with expressive flare in these last two stanza's very well.

Yet at time, the stanza felt like you were telling a story in plain and simple terms more like an essay than a poem. This one is a good example of being overly plain I feel, "Later that day, when i saw their mother,
not present their anymore, I went near them, and saw them playing, and some, even biting each others toes.. I put some chapattis, for them to eat, but sadly, they couldn't, as they didn't had teeth.."
Also, a few grammar errors splashed around as well... like, "as they didn't *have* teeth".
These little things can be easily corrected.
Overall, I see a loving mind and a warm heart. You see the details well and you just need to find a was of getting all those details felt and implied without actually listing them all...
I hope you continue to see the beauty in this world and share your thoughts in writing.
Well done new friend.
Scott.

[Baby Ricochet]

If you don't love puppies something is wrong with you.

[Angel]

The best friends I've ever had in my life have all been of the canine persuasion. As someone else once said...every time a dog leaves my life, he takes a piece of my heart with him. And every time a new dog comes into my life, he gives me a piece of his heart. Perhaps, one day, if I am very good, God will bless me, and I will have the loving, loyal heart of a dog...

[Lisa Victoria]

This is a very touching and sweet poem....good write:)

[Laminators Dubai]

huhhhhh....
so cute, words are flying sis...
really i do that too but the day a kitten eat my finger and partly succeed, i just stop doing that.
but i still love animals and try not to get eaten by them...lol
i really enjoy!!!!!!

[Saumya]

o sis..:) that made me really smile...nd i wish that these creatures might not harm you again..:)read moreo sis..:) that made me really smile...nd i wish that these creatures might not harm you again..:)
i think you definitely would have teased them....thats why they did it...:) lol
well, thanks a lot for the great review:)

[Katho28]

wow.. that's a really nice story you've placed into your narrative poem.. and I really loved the ending "Lots of love,
to those little puppies
who taught us
how should a human be,
caring, lovely, sweet,and
above all,
the most faithful creature indeed..."
it wasn't complicated to read and was very heart-fulfilling. really liked it :)

[Lee Foreman]

Very touching...And I totally agree, we all should definitely take notice as humans to aspire to the qualities of puppies...Very inspiring write!!