The Puppies..

The Puppies..

A Poem by Saumya

One morning,
when i stood behind
my window,
enjoying the cool breeze,
and the delicate morning sunshine,
I saw something
really fine,
which i'd simply
love to define....
I saw the puppies,
one and two and three and four,
all sitting
in front of my door..
One was white,
the other black,
one was brown,
and the other
white, with some black spots
over his body and head..
They looked lovely,
as all animal's kids normally do,
but it was 
their little faces, innocent eyes,
and tiny toes which made them
really sweet..
I couldn't stop,
seeing them from far,
so ran downstairs
to see them 
more clearly than from far..
but oh! i saw their mother,
standing beside those four,
filled with anger,
till her nose..
as if warning saying,
no need to come close..

Later that day,
when i saw their mother,
not present their anymore,
I went near them,
and saw them playing,
and some, even
biting each others toes..
I put some chapattis,
for them to eat,
but sadly, they couldn't,
as they didn't had teeth..

Each time when i 
went near them,
they came running to me,
licking my feet,
as if they waited for me
to play with them,
whenever i was free...
And being with them,
really made me pleased..

At evenings
when the children played,
these four eagerly ran behind them
to play,
and this at times,
made the kids
really afraid...

When children used to play
with the ball,
they grabbed it
in their little mouths and feet,
and passed it on to all...
and the game turned
even more interesting overall..

We named those four,
by four great names,
Jack, Joe, Peter, and Jane..
They hated chapattis,
but loved the candies,
that we fed them with,
again and again..

They enjoyed with us,
the most they could..
and we loved them all,
more than anyone else would..

Days passed, and they grew big,
but they are as great,
as they always stood,
even more than that, before they would
and much more than, a human ever would...

They guard our house,
in our absence
and detered unknown creatures 
from entering there..

Just some chapattis,and
sweet candies,
and our bond became
so strong and happy..

Lots of love,
to those little puppies
who taught us
how should a human be,
caring, lovely, sweet,and
above all,
the most faithful creature indeed... 


© 2013 Saumya


Author's Note

Saumya
i hope you enjoyed reading this...
i would be really happy if you will review and rate it:)
regards,
saumya

My Review

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Featured Review

This is a gorgeous tale about puppies and the love that humans share with animals, dogs in particular. The beginning of your poem is really good, I was kind of sad when the rhyming disappeared but the story you describe in great imagery is solid and makes for a nice read. Grammatically, this is one of your better writes for sure. In this line the verb tense should be changed, "didn't had teeth.." to "didn't 'have' teeth.." and your use of the word "abstain" isn't really appropriate because it means 'stay away from' and not 'keep away from' which is more of what you were going for. I suggest: dissuade, discourage or deter maybe if you want to go even simpler, 'stop'.

All in all a very nice poem Saumya

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Saumya

10 Years Ago

Thank you soo much Astro:) really glad you liked it:)



Reviews

With this poem, you proved that it is not the grammar but the ideas that makes literature alive....good work...congrats...keep it up

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I agree with Leslie...sweet and flowing

Posted 10 Years Ago


..hehe.. Cute tale of Puppies :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


A joyous write along with the puppies...:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


sweet, romantic poetry with a flowing story, well written

Posted 10 Years Ago


i thoroughly enjoyed reading this without a break so that means :) you wrote nicely :)

best wishes

Posted 10 Years Ago


Very sweet poem! A few grammar mistakes but I love the descriptions. Keep up the good work :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Enjoyed reading this - there is really nothing like a puppy to bring joy!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Nice photos and a fun poem to read. Animals give us hope and make us laugh. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on August 17, 2013
Last Updated on August 29, 2013

Author

Saumya
Saumya

India



About
Hi all:) this is me....Saumya well, i don't have much to tell you all about me.. but yes to start with, I love writing & painting.(you can find some of my paintings in the "my photos" section of.. more..

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