His Requiem for Maria

A reply to RC Vagilidad's "A Requiem for Maria"

 

 

The faint light I radiated

was eclipsed by the shadows

of the sky’s cold, vast haze.

 

Underneath the rays of Gemini

I sang of sighs and memories

and danced my last ballet.

 

There, I held my last breath

but he never ceased to play

that lingering refrain.

 

The song I loved began to fade.

His requiem for me,

he flawlessly played

 

and I was free...

 

His Maria.

 

 

July 17, 2007 © Maxinne Marie

Reviews

[Jofer Serapio]

Very moving. Good choice of words. I much prefer this piece. Thanks for sharing.

[Aaron J. Wald]

beautiful. Interesting, but very beautiful. I have no idea what this piece is refering to or is really about, but I think it sounds lovely and is sweet.

[Arlene Fleisher]

Another interesting piece! I loved it!

[Celtic Cat]

Stunningly beautiful. Love it.

[Soleil Janoway]

a beautiful response to "A requiem for maria". you took her perspective, not only ran with it, but did it with such eloquence and mind tingling imagery. i especially like the first stanza , "The faint light I radiated
was eclipsed by the shadows of the sky's cold, vast haze. " they immediately draw you into her world and even when you end the piece the author still isn't released. i applaud you on this piece.

[T. R. Writer]

A very nice reply and it really flowed well.

[Vincent Maltese]

Cute , quiant. nice peice

[~ Tex]

Ah, Marie, how sweet your words and reply. I really enjoyed this replying piece of yours! I'm not sure what to say, other than it truly felt very, very smooth.

Simple, direct.... very sweet flow.

[Atlanta Carter]

I must admit that I wasn't too fond of the original, but I found your response more satisfying. The imagery was clearer and the sentiment felt pure and unpretentious. I found this particularly effective:

The song I loved began to fade.
His requiem for me,
he flawlessly played.

Good work.

[Alistair Canlin]

A very evocative piece. There was great imagery and romance at the start, without being too schmaltzy.