Wretched

 

This wretched existence I would live again

If only someday, in that next life

We shall be forbidden no more

From embracing the flames

Of the passion we both feel

The longing we both know

The endlessness of our odes

And all that is left unspoken

 

This wretched destiny I tried so hard to understand

So I made myself believe that perhaps

The heavens were afraid that if we were to be,

We would outshine the moon and the stars

With our elixir of love, a fusion of our dreams,

Enchanted tales and flawless poetry,

The song of my smile and your melody

The same breath of life that flows in you and me

 

This wretched truth I wish to undo

I want to escape from reality to be with you

And we shall live together in our dreamscape

Where no one can hold our happiness in their hands

The scrolls inked with your fate shall be ablaze

And rain’s spirit will wash away the haunting past

Light from the shadows shall be awoken

To tell the world that some pacts can be broken

 

This wretched heart longs for all that you say

So don’t say goodbye and cast me not away

The sun will rise after the darkest night

To tell us, and the world, that we have won the fight

Behind every great love is a great story

And our quivering quill shall chronicle the glory

Of love, beautifully forbidden, nonetheless true

For that, this wretched life I still live for you

 

 

© Maxinne Marie July 20, 2007

Reviews

[~ Tex]

Maxinne,

First, let me say that your work is wonderful and pure. It could easily be a modernization of Romeo and Juliet.

Then, let me say that no matter what, nothing is impossible... it can only 'seem' impossible.

Life prepares us for our greatest love, if we will 'keep the faith,' by teaching us and training us with many challenges, and, quite often, many trying, although perhaps 'great,' loves along the way.

Time heals all wounds and removes many obstacles. Those things left in the way are merely mountains to climb or hike around.

Your day in the sunshine is not gone... merely momentarily obscured by cloud.

You are gifted with the coping mechanism of a powerful pen that harnesses the emotions deep within your soul.

Old souls are indeed the most gifted in the arts, whether it be writing, music, painting, or perhaps those in the science and medicine field... and most often, they are gifted in many arts on both the science and non-science sides of life.

Keep writing from within and care not about anything that 'seems' to stand in your way. You are infinitely stronger and wiser and completely competent and able to overcome all....

...and to write beautiful bountiful works of poetry and prose that can captivate... and make a difference.

[Staci Brown]

[color=indigo]
Behind every great love is a great story
And our quivering quill shall chronicle the glory

I love those two lines!
You have an amazing depth of insight for a young woman of your age!

Faerie Blessings!
[/color]

[Brian]

And you're how old??? If I didn't know your age, I would have never guessed that a teenage girl wrote this. You must be an old soul, Maxine.
This poem is beautifully written and the imagery skillfully described. A pleasure to read...and re-read. (Poetry is no something I read vey often)

[Prosaic Space Cowboy]

love is a many splender subject, but mybe, you will find love that feels and sounds like a movie....good look sweetie.





Believe me, put faith in me
Find the given truth in my kisses
In the natural way my arms embrace you
Have trust in who I am
Validate in some path, my love for you




You in the dark- living a ghost - my heart
has fallen upon reasons of starving meaning
Your hands- the wood carvings of heaven
Splintering my heart- as grasped through the mind
watching lights go down as windows break- the glass
tears of alcholic speach- heaven is on it's way





Beautifull one, I hold dear, my heart beating to yours
Release the pain- shatter chains, let me love you
Forget the stench of alchol, luring promices, darkened
no ones- throwaway the screams, find solace in these arms
Be my love,let me hold you close, sothe away demons from
darker days




Dark days lighten faces- retracing points of view- clues
upon the days devinity- my child of importence- to stay the
way it has been- tatooed by rings of smoldering rest- coliding
in sacred objection- rearing scatterd silence of your animate
sillouette- no faces- just names- etched into my heart- the
canvas of suger-swallowed by insects-pushing back flesh-see the
real me- the abandon son of sky lit rain- break my thunder, and
I will remember your name





Bathed in the shadowed rain, accepted by every drop, shedded by covered skies
Nameless matters scatterd across trails we have made. Clasped hands, flesh to (1010)
flesh, feel the truth thudding between both souls. Eaten canvas, a memory, a
reminder of the past, cover skin in pigment, become one, hidden child, my
breath of meaning,a reason of fair compassion, on bare shoulders, I'll carry
the pressure of half-hearted denied memories




Behind eyes that seek sight through the heart- hidden behind rapid breathes- connecting through
flowing colers- your heart grasping one night of sweet somthing

- If burdens feel, than my fingers ache-
- If troubles kill, than I am a saint-

If you push the mountains for comfort, I will erase the sun for your shade.
If you detour streams for my saftey, I will devour oceans for your thought.
If you catch my dreams, I will be everything for the acceptance of being a true friend.
A blood member of unseen alies- a reflection of mirror image only you can see.
I will be reclused.
Your angel of prayers for the thousands.
For the chance of hope.
For the hope of seeing a face once again.
Be my other and I will be your twilight of hours.
Forever.






Ever there, a constant reminder, behind your eyes,same breathe, same essence.
Giving all that is plausible....more...placing into your hands the impossible.
Becoming your guild wings, healing the torrid wounds of life.
Smiles, only for your eyes, out of you into me, out of me into you,patiently
waiting at the end of your maze.
Gathering stars and moons- holding my long nights just for you.
Holding the faith you need for the existence of us.
Believe in what I offer, companion, unseen through halls, absorbing droplets,
cascading all this essence into a pool of eternity.

[Jonathan Escoffery]

Forbidden love, beautifully put to words. My favorite lines:
"The heavens were afraid that if we were to be,
We would outshine the moon and the stars"
The passion in this poem is undeniable. What more can I say? Great job!

[Linda Crawford Ortiz]

I enjoyed this write, first of all, because of the focus of theme. You never strayed from the job at hand. I also liked the way you broke down exactly wht you wanted to say into small boxes of information which kept the reader on track...wretched existence, wretched destiny, ...truth, ...heart: genius, especially coming from the 'pen' of one so young. Your statements are clear and concise. The pace is easy to follow; and, although it sounds depressing on the surface, it screams "love"...what is sorrowful about that? Good write.

[Clary Lopez]

Your words express well the emotions and agony of love. Beautiful.

[Kimberly R. Larkins]

Beautiful. I love the entire piece, my favorite is verse two, but the words below really pulled at my emotions.

So I made myself believe that perhaps
The heavens were afraid that if we were to be,
We would outshine the moon and the stars
With our elixir of love, a fusion of our dreams,

[Leah Simone]

So I made myself believe that perhaps
The heavens were afraid that if we were to be,
We would outshine the moon and the stars

These were great lines - I feel your longing for this love you may only know through written word and shared dreams -this was beautiful - Leah

[Anthony D. Howe]

I like it. Really, you are good at putting emotions and ideas into words that people can understand and agree with. Though at the same time, the reader feels for the writer, you want her to be able to rerch out and ave the love that means so much to her, or you rather. Very well written, thank you for this.