Chapter Ten

Nick in his jacked-up living situation

When David was a sophomore in high school, Nick came home one evening, elated. It was near Halloween, and David was hoping to go to a party. He heard seniors would be there, and there was this cute girl that sat in his geometry class that he heard would be there, also. He was hoping his parents would let him go after dinner, but he was also curious about Nick’s happiness. David remembered this now, and allowed him to replay the memory in full...

Everyone sat down for dinner, something new for the Cole family. Ever since his parents had begun working on saving their marriage acouple of years back, dinners at the table had become more frequent. Claudia presented the tuna casserole and sat down.

“Okay Nick. Tell me what’s going on,” she said, eagerly helping herself to some string beans.

Nick reached into his pocket and tossed David a candy bar before he helped himself to some casserole.

“Thanks, bro,” David grinned, spooning out some casserole for himself.

“No problem, bro, “ Nick chuckled. “Hey, aren’t you going to a party tonight?”

“Only if it’s okay with us,” Dad declared sternly. “Are parents going to be there?”

“Yeah,” David grumbled.

“If they weren’t, I wouldn’t let you go,” his mother said and eyed him with a smile. “What are you going as?”

“Well, I don’t know if I want to dress up, “ David said. “Dressing up is for kids. It’s just a party.”

His father gave him a look but David quickly added, “I mean, Joe’s parents said we didn’t have to dress up. They’re not dressing up.”

“You sure they’ll keep an eye on everything, so you won’t mess up?”

“Dad. They’re going to be watching us the whole time.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Mom --”

“Dan, let him go, it’s just a kid’s party. Parents are going to be there.”

David hated how his father treated him, so he quickly switched the conversation to a new topic.

“Nick you gonna tell us your news?”

Nick took a bite of his casserole and looked at everyone at the table.

“Okay, here it goes. You know how we used to go to church?”

“We used to…not a lot.”

“Yeah,” Dan eyed him curiously. “Okay.”

“Well, I…” Nick looked around. “I 've been going to this youth group.”

“Youth group?”

“At school, they have it during lunch, called Young Life. Anyway, they talks about God, and how He loves us and wants a relationship with us.” Nick grinned wildly. “I mean…I always knew there was like, life after death, and God, but I've been learning that God is real, you know? I learned Jesus died on the cross for�" like for the wrong stuff I did �" so that I wouldn’t go to hell, so that I could be with God when I died. Today, I gave my life to Christ. I'm a Christian now.””

He looked around, waiting for an exciting response.

Claudia just nodded. “Oh, baby. That’s cool.” She grabbed a basket of rolls. “You want some?”

Nick sort of looked at them strangely. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“Well, it’s nice to have a religion,” she responded. “Just don’t let it go to your head.”

Dad cleared his throat and said. “You’re not going to get all fanatic and stop going to doctors and stuff, are you?”

Nick looked at him strangely. “What? No.”

“I heard that’s what they do. They don’t believe in doctors. They believe that only God can heal you. “

“No, that’s not what’s happening. I gave my life to Christ. I know this is what I need, you know? I have a relationship with Him now. Jesus is real. He’s like the one who died for our sin �"“

“Honey, I know all about Jesus dying for the sins of the world. I went to Catholic school.”

“But he didn’t just die for the worlds’ sins. He died for your sins, yours and mine. Do you really know it?” he asked, lifting his fork but then putting it down without taking a bite. “What will happen when He comes back and the Rapture happens, and you don’t really know him?”

“The Rapture? Oh brother,” grumbled his dad. “Look, I’m happy about your religion, but I will not tolerate you saying that we’re going to hell if we don’t believe your way.”

David shook his head. His dad had no right to talk, considering the recent behavior that nearly made them divorce.

“Yeah, he’s right. I mean, really Nicolas, who says that you have to believe in God that way? There’s a lot of different paths to God.”

“No, there’s only one God….Jesus is the only way.”

“You know what? I really don’t want to talk this religious crap, Nick. Eat your food.” Dad snapped.

Afterward, David excused himself and went upstairs to throw on some men’s cologne and grab a jacket. On his way out, Nick met him in the doorway.

“Hey man.”

Nick looked at him. “Little brother, do you know Jesus loves you?”

“Uh, I think so.”

Nick nodded his head and chuckled. “I guess I sound like a Jesus Freak.”

David felt sad for him. Their father could be so --- well, Dad was dad, he never really liked to talk about anything. It was a wonder they even stayed together. Of course, he knew the reason their parents had nearly split up �" and it had to with that redhead.

“Hey Nick, maybe you can tell me about Jesus later �" “

“Yeah?”

“Course. You’re my brother.”

“Alright man, be cool, don’t get into trouble.”

David returned to the present, the memory fading from his mind. It was March 9, 2010. He sat in his Acura outside Nick’s new place.

If you could call it that.

He looked at the address, scribbled on a Post-It, which he received from Mom. She had apparently tried to visit Nick, without success, a few days ago. Now it was David’s turn. He peered at the run-down, one-story grayish house in front of him. A broken washing machine sat on the front lawn next to an ugly brown bag of broken furniture pieces and clothes. An old, rusty white truck collected dust in the driveway. A man with an oversized belly and an undersized shirt sat on the porch, smoking a cigarette.

He glanced at his Blackberry. Jack Mancuso had texted him to say that he still had his job, and that he’d just mailed off his first mortgage paymenton time. He put a laughing smiley face at the end of the text.

And he’d received an e-mail notification from the EC in Denver. It was personally addressed to him, asking him to call.

David reflected on the last two weeks. He had a few more nightmares �"- which meant changing his bed sheets twice because of the night sweats that followed. Also, since that evening at Starbucks, he and Stella had been in contact on Facebook. She actually added him as a friend, and he had the chance to see her photos. Most of them were from 2008, and all portrayed a smiling, beautiful young woman. He wondered if she would ever update page.

He also made good on his promise not to visit those Web sites. He thanked God for that.

Mark had an accountability group tonight. David decided not to go. If he could keep this Web-site struggle quiet and end it smoothly, then there was no need to talk to others about it.

Now he noticed a skinny man step out of the front door, walk down the steps and mutter something to the big man on the porch. The skinny man appeared fidgety. David scanned the other homes. They also appeared somewhat dilapidated and shabby. He remembered Nick had a nice apartment with roommates back in 2006 �" in a middle-class neighborhood in San Jose, no less. What made him move from that to this?

Nicolas wouldn’t have lived like this before. He’d always been driven and ambitious, although it picked up after Mom and Dad separate and nearly divorced. Nicolas earned high grades in junior high and high school, and he obsessed about his studies. When he gave his life to Christ as a senior, he already had a 4.0 GPA. Now he’d ended up here.

He thought of how different he and Nick had been growing up. David earned ample punishments from his parents due to his behavior, beginning with the first taste of vodka during that Halloween party as a sophomore. From there, David got in trouble with the principal for truancy and playing hooky, then David and his friend were caught smoking pot by his friend’s father, then he lost of his virginity as a junior, which Dad also found out about, and then he was caught shoplifting before he graduated high school. He was lucky not to end up in juvenile hall; the store decided not to press charges. David graduated from high school with a C+/B- average. He was only able to get into San Jose State because he scored high on his SATs. Nicolas hardly got into trouble. He was active in the junior high debate class, as the photographer for the yearbook staff in high school, and heavily involved in Young Life youth group after coming to Christ. He graduated as the salutatorian, giving an impressive welcoming speech during the ceremony. People voted him as one of those most likely to succeed. David’s behavior tarnished his reputation, compared to his brother’s successful path.

But David and Nick were close despite these differences. Nick would point out how good David was with numbers and money, and the fact that he was athletic. Nick would stick up for David when their father ragged on David about his behavior. Sometimes the two would go to the movies together or play video games. Even though David felt envious of what he felt was his dad’s preferential treatment for Nick, Nick’s attitude squashed any potential for deep-seated jealousy.

He missed that camaraderie with this brother.

David got out of the car, locked it, and clicked on his alarm. Just in case. He walked across the street, onto the sidewalk, and up the path to the shabby grayish-white house. Big man and skinny man looked at him with suspicion.

“Is there a Nicolas Cole living here?” he asked, approaching skinny man first.

Skinny man lifted his right hand and puffed on a joint, blowing out marijuana smoke. “In there,” he replied gesturing toward the door. “It’s unlocked.”

Giving them a nod, David walked around them and stepped inside, which wasn’t much better. It smelled of old cigarettes and alcohol, and burnt streaks and crud covered the carpet. Cracks pierced the living room ceiling and the couches reflected an ugly purple.

“Go to the back, last door on the right,” the skinny guy called from outside.

“Thanks,” David repeated. He walked down the narrow hallway to a closed door on his right. He knocked.

“Hey Nick?”

“Who the heck is it,” someone muttered from inside.

“It’s David.”

“Oh. Come in.”

Nick sat on the bed, staring at the television set in front of him, his leg propped up against a chair. He looked horribly thin. He remebled a Boheimian bum with his unkempt, dark-brown, neck-length hair and 5 o’clock shadow. He still had a broad torso, as both brothers had always been built in the upper body, but his skin appeared rough and somewhat pale. David noticed beer cans on the dresser, and a few pint-sized vodka bottles by the bed.

“What's up?

“Just saying hi.”

Nicolas managed a quick grin. “I got someone coming. We can do this later.”

“It's just a few minutes. What happened with the other place?”

“Nothing. Got a problem?”

“No,” David said abruptly. “But the place you had on Empire street with Kevin and Don was nicer.”

“You always going to bring that up?” Nick snapped. “What the heck does that have to with now?”

“Nevermind,” David sighed and shook his head. “How’s it going with work?”

“Got fired.” Nick replied shortly.

“Why?”

“I just did. I’ll find something else,” he said.

“You gotta work man, you �"“

“If I want to hear a lecture, I’ll talk to Dad,” Nick turned to him sharply. “No wait, he’ll just jump on you.”

David tapped his fingers twice before inhaling to continue the conversation.

“Maybe you can come with me tonight to the accountability group,” David didn’t plan on going tonight, but it didn’t hurt to reach out to Nick. “Mark would love to see you.”

“Mark?” Nicolas turned to him. “How is he?”

“He’s fine. He prays for you.”

Nick looked down. “How’s your celebrity thing going?”

“I'm not a celebrity. I’m just a motivational speaker..”

“Yeah, whatever,” Nick chuckled. “Never figured you for that.”

He looked up now. “Mom wants you to come to dinner.”

“When?”

“Thursday night.”

“What about Friday?”

“They’re doing something.”

“What about tomorrow?”

“I'm at youth group .”

Nick chuckled. “Motivational speaker, youth mentor, just completely altruistic.”

David droned his fingers once more before he looked at Nick. . “We’re having Stroganoff.”

“Oh, nice.”

David surveyed the room. “Mind if I sit down?”

“Knock yourself out.”

David sat and smiled at his brother. “Who's coming over?”

“Raymond. He'sgot some blunts if you wanna smoke one.”

“No thanks ,” David held up his hand, chuckling.

“That's cool, man.” Nick reached over and opened up a package of mini donuts that were on the chair, popping one in his mouth.

“Beef Stroganoff, huh?”

“You know how she does it.”

Nick chewed on another donut.

“I’ll try….” He paused. “You want some?”

David shrugged and took a donut.

“Listen, my friend’s coming by in a few minutes”

David looked at him, shook his head slightly and raised to his feet. As he left Nick pulled out a cigarette from his pocket, along with a lighter.

“Those will kill you, you know.” David reminded him as he walked out the door.

“Yeah, I know, maybe not soon enough.” Nick called out. David stopped looked back in his direction momentarily, and walked out of the house.