Epiphony

just a poem...

Epiphony

it came to me in an epiphany

when I thought my mind was clear

laying in the sand on a beachy day

listening to the echoe of the wind

absorbing the scents of salten air

It came to me in a dream

when I thought I would sleep through

when yesterday was not an option

today was calmly swollen

tomorrow no more than a doubtful expectation

of something ill-concieved

it came to me in a revelation

like that word on the tip of my tounge

the one I should have known

recognized

sudden awareness

budding the souring tastes

of realization

it came to me in an epiphany

a moment of astute comprehension

suddenly it came to me

and I saw your truths

as nothing more than waxed  mannequins

dressed in tissue paper dresses

and cellophane promises

it came to me in a dream

and when I opened my eyes

you were gone

© bj smith

aka shallimarRose

Author's Note

comments and critique always welcome..thats how we grow..

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Too often we realize the importance of people in our lives when they are gone. Of course, sometimes when they are gone, we realize their promises were cellophane and their truths were not quite what we once were sure they were. Ephiphanies come at the strangest moments, but once we have one, things are so clear. Rose, I liked this a lot. I can relate. Lydi**

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Lydi... xo

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Amazing how the mind works and we find revelations in the strangest of moments or inspired by the likeliest of things. Beautifully written.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Cowboy.. I am glad you enjoyed.. Have a wonderful night .. xo Rose

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure dear Rose... you too xo

[Einstein Noodle]

"today was calmly swollen"
my cup of tea! love the contrasts. surely causes me to pause and think. love it!
details so small...do you mean echo or echoes? :))
you surprised me with the turn. something i most always enjoy. my preconceived notions challenged and trampled. thank you :) when the mannequins came out my instant thought went to voodoo dolls.. i get a ton out of this one..peace on earth sister!
E.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you E.. by the mannequins dressed in waxed paper dressed and cellophane dresses I was going for fake.. superficial... It is meant to be echo.. type-o thank you. I will go fix it now.. Glad you enjoyed this my friend.. xo shallimarRose

[Einstein Noodle]

yes. your meaning is loud and clear; and fits. its my flitting mind, New Orleans; and a woman wronged makes me think of pins and dolls ever so briefly. :)
"laying in the sand on a beachy day" love that line too!

[shallimarRose]

thank you again.. You are too kind.. Happy to know you. Rose

[sharonlee]

Hauntingly graceful and emotive... resonates.
Hugs

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Sharonlee.. huggs

[Ian Faraway]

Each stanza is its own mini story that projects detailed imagery in the reader's mind. As always I enjoy your writings. J'adore! -Ian

[shallimarRose]

thanks Ian.. I like the new name a lot.. xo shallimarRose

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Splendid read and write, Ms. Shallimar

[shallimarRose]

Thank you so much Brandon.. I am glad you took time out to read.. xo shallimarRose

[RainDancer1997]

I studied dreams in psychology last year. No one knows exactly what they mean. And that's why there so special:) Great job:)!

[shallimarRose]

Thanks again Rainy... In this dream the epiphany's came in a dream causing the eyes to be open.. Then the trash was taken out... "and when I opened my eyes you (he) were gone"...
huggs, Rose

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Isn't it amazing the things that come to us in our dreams, and then dissapate when we open our eyes? I'm always fascinated by the things that I remember about my dreams, so briefly. This was very conceptual, and I enjoyed that. I like the imagery and the flow was nice as well .

Suggestion:

2nd line of the 2nd stanza, should it be "one I thought I would sleep through" ?

[shallimarRose]

Thank you for reading and for the suggestion.. No , the When is correct.. It should actually have a comma there but I use little punctuation when I write poetry.. "when I thought I would sleep through it" is the correct meaning.. and the repeated "when" is important to my thought process.. Thanks anyway though.. I never get upset with minor errors pointed out or suggestions..honest critique is always welcome... Thanks again. shallimarRose

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I see it now...I read it with a comma and it worked...