dis-connected (Three Senryu one poem)

Three senryu style poems aligned to complete one incomplete feeling or poem.. (I know that makes no sense) lol Enjoy

Frozen rain pounding

so loudly on the windows

......yet pane feels no pain

 

Salted memories

like swollen rivers flow free

......expanding our minds

 

Chevron spectacles’

somehow form shattered visions

......of what once was ours

Dis-connected

 

 

 

 

 

 

For more shallimarRose Poetry titles visit my table of contents in my blog...

 

Bits of Me...Table of Contents by title...

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

ok let me have it... comments/critique always welcome.. ty

Reviews

[ShelleyA]

Hi Rose. A good write about different aspects of being disconnected. Good brevity. Nice word play. A well crafted Senryu string. Perfect 5/7/5 syllabic form. Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a realistic picture of things disconnected from its action that any reader can appreciate. Good flow and tone. Nice use of simile. Good depth of feeling. You express the power of sensations in life well in this piece. Good word choice as is the alliteration, assonance and consonance. Nicely penned and an enjoyable read. Write on!

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Shelley.. Only you could come up with such a long and lovely review of such a short poem.. Thank you.. Rose

[ShelleyA]

You're welcome and my pleasure. Have a good day!

[Kelly Scheppers]

Ok, I loved it! So glad to find such little treasures in the night around here...love this, the 5-7-5 syllable count is such an eloquent offering to poetry!

Nice to meet you, Shallimar!

[B-poet]

Loved the newly created written format. Great work Rose. A fine write & read. :)

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Brian again.. xoxo Rose

[Rita L. Sev]

The feelings of disconnect, yet you connected them so cleverly in these three senryu.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you again Rita..

[ron]

I loved it Rose. Beautiful and simplistic.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Ron...

[Jack...]

Rose I liked each one individually and as a collective. You have brought your message through in an enchanting way. Very nicely done.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Jack.. xoxoxo

[Coyote Poetry]

I like all three of the poem. The first one was my favorite. I wish I could write short poems. I have been told by publishers. I'm a epic writer. Born 500 years too late. A great skill to create vision and thoughts using three lines and so few words. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Coyote.. Well and epic writer is not a bad thing to be.. I appreciate your coming here to read.. xo Rose

[one sky]

Nice poem. Disconnection of hearts and minds.
There's nothing you can do but to recall only those memories when you are still connected to each other...
Each stanza is a very nice senryu. Nice one, Rose.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you very much..

[Zahra]

A really beautifully crafted piece. Very well penned

[shallimarRose]

Thank you for reading .. Rose