Rain Rhapsody aka (Rhapsody of the Rain)

 

 

I sit here in sweet silence

but for the tapping on the pane

listening to the melody,

rhapsody of the rain....

 

Gentle glistening petals

hold up their head to quench

the smell of air made pure again,

cleansed of the city stench....

 

Reflected in each rain drop,

I see a tiny glimmer

The streetlight standing at the curb,

brings out that certain shimmer....

 

I'm rocking oh so gently,

don’t want to miss a beat

as each and every droplet

the tempo does repeat....

 

The sound is ever calming,

and soothing to the soul

I stare there at the windowpane

and watch each droplet roll....

 

I sit here in sweet silence

but for the tapping of the rain,

listening to the melody,

rhapsody of the rain....

 

The wind now joins the chorus

and howls soft and low

and adds a wave of ripples,

there on the sidewalks glow....

 

the branches of the willow 

how poetically they sway, 

in harmony they seem to dance

with the oak tree down the way…

 

The tempo picks up speed now

 as I see the darkness flash

I hear the roar of thunder,

with a giant drum-like crash....

 

I sit here in sweet silence,

And from each word refrain.

Listening to the melody,

Rhapsody of the rain….

© 2005 bj Smith

aka shallimarRose

 

 

 

 

 

For more shallimarRose Poetry titles visit my table of contents in my blog...

 

Bits of Me...Table of Contents by title...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

comments and critique are welcome. Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[bobc]

You seem to have indicated this was a work-in-progress...so here I go again (I'm smiling as I write this, btw)...the tone is wonderful, the images clear and resonant. The meter, however, jumps around a little.

Based on what I'm hearing when I read this aloud, can I infer you're striving for a count of 7 beats in the first line of each stanza, 6 in the second, 8 in the third and, finally, 6 in the fourth? The stanzas that hold to that, sound fine to my ear...the second, fifth and last stanzas for example.

I can provide suggestions if you'd like...email might be a better venue for that. I'll leave that up to you. For a WIP, this is pretty good anyway...bobc

[shallimarRose]

uneven tempo was intended... 6 7 8 syllable count bounce around throughout this one Feel free to message me. Not really a work in progress.. It was written like 29 years ago and has remained unedited.. Thank you for reading.. xo

[bobc]

Message sent. Everyone feels differently, I guess. I treat all all of my poems as works-in-progress. ...bobc

[shallimarRose]

ty.. i know most do that.. i rarely edit.. This year is the first time i am revisiting to edit for a book...
usually i sit down write , shelf and thats it.. Rhyme is very natural to me..

[MsJewel]

This is lovely. You are an artist with words painting a gorgeous picture of falling rain, the willow tree poetically swaying..

I could hear the melody.
Wonderful writing.

:) Julie

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Julie. So glad you enjoyed.. xo rose

[Keith]

Editing this?
Hey just watch what ya doing then, this one of my favourites. It floats thru my brain every time it rains her. If I could write like this I would consider my poetic life fulfilled. But want to edit it?

[shallimarRose]

No sweetie this one is one of my master pieces. I will not change it.. Thank you for your kind words . Rose

[Keith]

Phew...............

[shallimarRose]

LOL... Can't change the rain .. xo

[Cassie]

how I love rain after reading this, you have brought out the imagery quite well, the smell of dust after rain..this is good my friend SHALLIMAR.. I wish there was a pic of rain falling,it would have completed the whole picture either way it is good really good. now shelved in my library

[shallimarRose]

well just the small picture in the opening. Some actually do not like pictures or music in the poetry. There are some contests here that disqualify you if you use them. Thank you Cassie.. xo

[Keith]

Really sweet with a beautiful rhythm and flow. Such variety in your wonderful poetry

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Keith.. I write about anything and everything as you will find out as we continue our friendship here.. huggs...

[Keith]

On behalf of the Aussie chapter of your fan club, I would like to say that we are really looking forward more of whatever might be coming our way. Midnight here as I lay listening to raindrops tapping on my window pane.

[shallimarRose]

I have a fan club Keith? Are you the only member? lol
Where I live in the desert we are getting little to kno rain the past few years.. I miss it desperately..

[Keith]

Just me for now, but its gathering momentum. I see David L P actually paid you a rare visit, so I might try and sign him up if we ever meet. While we are a small group (does size matter?), we are very active.
Keith (Secretary)

[shallimarRose]

David is a friend of mine... I love his knack for making rhyme...

hey thats a poem? lol Im hopeless

[Vikrantsingh]

What a pour of rain.. I loved it with full of feelings and in-depth narration here Rose.
Great work done :)
Enjoyed it and really well work and properly executed :)
- Singh :)

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Vik.. So glad you enjoyed the rhyme and tempo of this piece.. xo

[Vikrantsingh]

Indeed this one is really amazing ;)

[shallimarRose]

ty again sweetheart. So glad you enjoyed.. xo

[Vikrantsingh]

Hehehehehe ;) you're welcome :D

[DIVYA]

One of the most beautiful renditions on Rain that I have come across...
A truly noteworthy poem, please accept my compliments.

[shallimarRose]

thank you so much..

[ron]

That was one of the most beautiful peices about rian and a thunder storm I hav read. It made me feel like I was there.

[shallimarRose]

High praise indeed. Thank you Ron. xo

[ron]

You arem ost welcome Rose xo

[ba_mcfarlane]

The gentle cadence is amazing, like gentle rain itself. This is a lovely piece. Like all great poetry, it soon had me back remembering quiet times reading, to the soothing rhythm of the rain outside my window.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Brian. I love the rain. We dont get much of it here in the desert though.. xo