Lover's Death

I look into the sunset...A shadow cast over a patch of colourful flowers...I see you...The love of my life...and my soul...There's a smile spread across your face...But I also see a tear running down your face...
I run towards you...Crushing flowers on my way... You hold your arms out...I run into them...You hug me as lovingly and tightly as you never have before...
You whisper into my ear..."Please find someone else to embrace you, kiss you, and make love to you"...I am confused and angry..."Why? What are you talking about? No! I won't!" I yell back...I could feel a tear running down my face...Then...I heard a gun shot...
My love falls to the ground...Lying in a pool of blood..."What..." I think to myself...Then I hear another gunshot...This time...Pain shoots through my body...I touch my chest...I feel something wet...I look at my hand..."Blood..."..I know I will die...I bend down to my lover's lips...For one last kiss...Our lips meet...His are still barely warm...Everything starts to become black...I slip away from his lips...I fall to the ground...Laying right beside him...
"Maybe we'll meet in the next world"..."Maybe..." I think to myself...

Author's Note

I know this isn't set out like a story should be, but tell me what you think of it, honestly
:)

Reviews

[Moscow]

I like it! It's really dramatic, which is good.
Just have one little criticism though, you repeat words a couple of times. For example:
'There's a smile spread across your face...But I also see a tear running down your face...' - Face is used twice.
'I bend down to my lover's lips...For one last kiss...Our lips meet...His are still barely warm...Everything starts to become black...I slip away from his lips' - Lips is used three times.
I'd suggest trying to think of an alternative word, even though it's quite hard!

[AngelBeat]

haha, it aint sad