Chapter 6

I walked into my empty house and back to my room.

I’m used to emptiness.

I stared at the sleeping pills by my bed that Hayden once told me to use on myself thinking about actually doing it.

But then I thought of him.

He’s on his way I can’t just leave him.

I sat down on my bed pulled my phone out to text Holly.

Are you going to the mall tonight?

Of course, it’s Friday.

Think Zane would take us? I don’t think my parents will.

I shall see.

Okay and try to get a hold of Grace and find out why she wasn’t in school.

Okay I’m going to get ready for the mall. You should snag some booze.

Okay lol

I put my phone down and lit up a cigarette.

I hope he won’t mind I smoke.

Maybe he will too.

Oh, where is he?

Is he lost?

Or taken already?

I shudder the thought and head out to my kitchen opening the pantry and pulling out the disgusting Rum my parents drink.

Pouring it into a mountain dew bottle I fill it back up with a little water.

My dad walked in the front door and I quickly put the bottle back.

He didn’t greet me as he entered the kitchen and set his lunch box down on the counter.

“Do the dishes before your mom gets home.” He said not looking at me. “And no more leaving notes telling us you’re leaving. You ask.” He sounded irritated.

If only he knew.

“Okay.” I said as he walked out to his room.

Did he hear me?

Would he listen?

I turned toward the sink and filled it up with sudsy water obeying his orders.

I started scrubbing the grime off the plates and silver wear wondering what it would be like to be a house wife.

Cooking and cleaning all day.

Playing with the kids.

Making my husband dinner before he got home.

Sweet kisses and long embraces.

I could live that life.

I walked back to my room when I finished the dishes and started to change for the mall.

I put on a pair of dark jeans with a purple long sleeved t-shirt and combat boots.

I messed with my brown curls and applied my dark eyeliner and mascara.

Their probably going to be smeared on my cheeks by the end of the night.

My phone started buzzing from over by my bed.

I picked it up and read Holly’s text.

Zane has to work so Hayden’s mom is taking us. Don’t be mad please :(

It’s fine. I’m ready then.

Okay, were leaving soon.

Okay.

I put my phone is my pocket and walked out to the living room where my mom was lying down. “Mom.” I said getting her attention. “I’m going to the mall tonight, but I’ll be home then.”

She snapped her head up at me. “Thanks for asking.” She turned her attention back to the TV and I walked back to my room trying to hold back my tears.

I’m sorry mom, but I’m broken and I don’t know how to talk to you anymore because you didn’t stop it.

I want to tell her that, but would she listen?

Would they care?

My darling where are you?

I love you.

I know we have not yet met, but I love you anyways.