Solace...

 

 

A ceiling balanced on four cemented slabs,

Walls, hollow within,

With a thousand screams shut deep inside.

Closely structured with little breathing space.

Painted with morbid shades.

A faint light, hopelessly, dimming above the head.

A window with a crack in the pane, showcasing a tree skeleton,

Standing against the sunrise every dawn,

A perpetual eclipse of sun.

Besides the only breathing soul,

Breathes the termites, on the only wooden saviour with a rusted latch,

A dilapidated home.

 

Knock-knock.

A bang on the door,

Drives the eyes to the tick-tock,

Time’s stretching its hands to the peak in unison,

Later than usual.

 

Step forward, peep through the glass,

Broad nose, begging eyes, a pleasure on flame tucked between lips,

Smoke escaping from the hollow,

A grotesque figure,

But a weary soul!

 

Unlock the weak, wooden saviour,

Let him in.

In the cloister, dark and dingy,

Slams the door, and ears hear the shuffling of tired feet behind.

 

Close.

Close he comes, breathes on the nape,

Eyes search for eyes,

Grabs tight, with ears on heaving breasts,

Voices stay silent but the heart beats.

Droplets stock up on the navel from dampened sockets

Pressed against the cleavage.

 

The over-flown pitcher filled with agony,

A silent cry of all the unvoiced failures, witnessed under the sun,

A piercing pain of being deprived,

The known oblivion to deceit the unattended present.

 

God.

I lean against the hollow wall,

Where I stand against it strong as a shield,

Hold your head and feel your unnoticed sweat,

Place it gently on the soft flesh.

And re-coronate YOU with a kiss on your forehead!

 

Reviews

[Prudence Desideria]

Beautiful wording, very epic somehow. Made me think of the movie 'Sin City' when I read it, with the black and white/gray scale and then moments of bright color that shines through and captures the attention of the on-looker. You jumble the words easily and professionally, and formulate a complex structure that the reader feels compelled to investigate, thus capturing our interest with your word games...
great work.
hugs,
prudence

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

This is creepy and good in that good creepy way...you sure can write!
I love these lines as well as all of them.....
Unlock the weak, wooden savior,
Let him in,
In the cloister dark and dingy,
Slams the door, and ears hear the shuffling of tired feet behind.

Very good read.

Chloe
xoxo

[Bubo]

Haunting.............so many questions that leave us pondering........powerfully written with such visual images............the flow just ran down the page..........almost in film style of watching a scene unfold.

The title Solace, yet the piece seems to be someone waiting, but not for solace.
Could be me!!

Really well written................

Step forward, peep through the glass,
Broad nose, begging eyes, a pleasure on flame tucked between lips,
Smoke escaping from the hollow,
A grotesque figure,
But a weary soul!

[Robert Luna]

Must say i really appreciate you sending this my way. This was wonderful piece and held such a powerful flow of images that ran together like a movie in my mind's eye. Great flow and interesting to see the way you almost removed the subject as if they were looking at themselves enacting the scenes.

Great Job!!!

[Candid Writer]

Ohh! Such beautiful imagery... in every line. This is a very good poem. The tone and flow are both impeccable. You have such an awesome way with words -- powerful.

Congratulations on a great write. Thanks for sharing it with me. I would have missed out on its savoring.

[Crystal L. Test]

I like this piece because it is indeed mysterious. It's very well written and sounds beautiful but I'm left with many questions. I like it when the writer doesn't spell out everything. It gives me something to relate to but I was so confused when I read this that I didn't feel like I got it. (Maybe that was the purpose?) So, I've read it several times and I still realize that I'm missing something. I hate non-constructive reviews and that is not my purpose. Sorry I can't be of more help.

[Antony]

This is just an incredible piece of poetry, so well written with powerful words, and emotions. An excellent write, and for me, the sixth stanza tells me all that is behind this poem.
Tony

[Blue Bard]

A mysterious piece. It leaves me with many questions. I wonder about so many things outside its boundaries. The lives of these characters is presented in a narrow accounting that touches me with it immediacy and longing. The thread of images so matter of factly described against the backdrop of such intimacy provides a haunting quality to the piece. It feels like there is love here, but not a safe one rendering the title of the piece ironic. This is a complex, well-thought out poem. It makes me feel empathy for the characters. A moving piece.

[Being.john.sweet~The Ev..]

very interesting voice here, seemingly detached from the scene, when he comes in the door, then back to first person, hauntingly scary...thanks.

[Gandré]

Apparently timeless journey in the realms of beauty, senses and dreams!

[Gary H]

I had the feeling of being trapped in a coffin when I first read this, not to do with the imagery but the ambience. Everything appeared dark and eerie. My favourite line mentions the 'tree skeleton' which again adds to the feeliing of otherworldliness - a place of ghosts.

Always enjoy poetry that gives me inspiration. The way and style you have done this in certainly does that.