Snow

Snow

A Poem by Augustus
"

This is my first experience of Snow. This happened in March 2011, in Tokyo, Japan.

"
And so it falls: to please my eye
Flowers of cotton from the sky
Memories of a seaside breeze
Now crystals melting on the trees
The cold wind roars, the cold wind bites
A lonesome fire the snow ignites
The fire burns as I write now
And fills my body with its glow
The flakes die soon, to fall again
Some day as snow, or perhaps rain
In my heart's warmth, they live for long
And weave their charm into a song

© 2011 Augustus


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It good for you to express a first time event. I’ve never know a year without snow. I was inspired to use some of your words to write this version of your first four lines which you may keep as a gift: It’s in /0/0/0/ seven syllable meter:

Snow

Cotton flowers from the sky
carried on a seaside breeze
pass in swarms before my eye.
Icy crystals coat the trees.



Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Augustus

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much Aethereal! I really like your habit of leaving quatrain gifts!


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Dye
What a lovely piece. I truly appreciate it when writers give a snippet to reflect what they wrote or why they wrote what they did. I admit, I have a difficult time deciphering poetry, so I spend most time trying to understand the piece rather than enjoying it. I guess what I am trying to say is I enjoyed this piece, not only for it's simplicity and by that I mean, easy to understand. Not that you just slapped it together. But I also enjoyed it because of the subject.

I live in the states on the east coast and am fortunate enough to have all four seasons. Sometimes it's easy to forget to see the beauty in your every day surroundings. So it is nice to be reminded to take a moment and just appreciate. Your view on your first experience is beautiful and one I will try to remember when the snow starts falling. Specifically "flowers of cotton from the sky", that's much nicer than my usual thought of "stay inside until it's done" LOL.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Augustus

8 Years Ago

Haha! Thank you so much for your kind and honest review! :)
It good for you to express a first time event. I’ve never know a year without snow. I was inspired to use some of your words to write this version of your first four lines which you may keep as a gift: It’s in /0/0/0/ seven syllable meter:

Snow

Cotton flowers from the sky
carried on a seaside breeze
pass in swarms before my eye.
Icy crystals coat the trees.



Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Augustus

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much Aethereal! I really like your habit of leaving quatrain gifts!
..and you have sung a song here. Beautiful visions of the beauty of snow. Felt the warmth of the fire, the cold in the snow! I love the fact that with snow comes the fire place and comforting warmth. Your poem has brought all of those visions.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I like your comparison of snow to "flowers of cotton" and your remembrance of summer in the first few lines. The rhyming gives it a kind of chanting, rhythmic pattern, and it paints a really beautiful picture of snow and a human's reaction to it as not just something cold as a part of winter, but something warm as a part of their heart.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This could make a beautiful song. Words rhyme with consistent meter pattern.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Exquisite :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


I feel the beauty that you appreciated .. Nice ..


Jasmine ...

Posted 10 Years Ago


This was beautiful, it really paints a picture. Great write
♥ Ta'Shandra

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is quite beautiful my friend...it's calming and paints a clear picture in the mind. Very nice wording.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on July 15, 2011
Last Updated on July 15, 2011

Author

Augustus
Augustus

Cambridge, MA



About
My name is Shreyas Gokhale. I have a PhD in Physics from the Indian Institute of Science and am currently a Post-doctoral Research Fellow at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. However, I guess.. more..

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